anyone else have a grouchy FSIL?

joelsangel925

 .

TheDuckis

WTF is a planning BBQ?

Wonderw1fe

I don't understand a thing you've said here. But my guess is she just doesn't like you, and doesn't want you to bother her with this mess.

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_anyone-else-grouchy-fsil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:c16ead98-2fb2-439d-b46c-f90cca9078dePost:9318b58d-50e5-4909-92a0-448e0955428a">Re: anyone else have a grouchy FSIL?</a>:
[QUOTE]WTF is a planning BBQ?
Posted by TheDuckis[/QUOTE]

This.

And I think this is a case of "She's just not that into you."  Sorry.  Move on and have a wedding. 

nicoleg1982

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_anyone-else-grouchy-fsil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:c16ead98-2fb2-439d-b46c-f90cca9078dePost:4e822f2c-eb4b-4e2e-aff3-bccd99f58f1c">anyone else have a grouchy FSIL?</a>:
[QUOTE]Mine has been in a bad mood since the day we met.  We planned to ask her husband to marry us (he married my fiance's parents too--they are a blended family).  She said "he does what I tell him to"--which didn't give us a chance to ask him, and it turned out he didn't want to do it.  She was quiet and distant @ the engagement party.  2 hours late to the planning BBQ where she took over and told me how things would be, plugged up my mom's toilet, and acted awful. Waited until 9PM the night before the shower to RSVP for her and her daughter (supposed to be my flower girl.)   She was awful at the shower, snapping and being defensive.  I asked her 5 months ago what size tuxedo for her son (supposed to be RB) but she will not respond.  She'll only answer my question with a question.  I emailed her asking if this all was an inconvenience to her and if so, she could gracefully decline and she blows up.  As does my FH, who calls his mom (not FSIL's real mom) and causes a problem, then his step dad, and then also talks to her.  They don't see anything wrong with her behavior.  Unreal!  And for my trouble--asking if this was a problem, etc, trying to make things easier for everyone else--I'm the bad guy. My mom says I should call all of them and explain, not apologize...just get everything into the open.  (And put everyone back in their place so to speak.)  This is pushing my FH and I to the breaking point.  The rehearsal is Saturday, the wedding is in 25 days... Any advice?
Posted by joelsangel925[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Quit involving these people in your planning/wedding.  Stop it now.

</div>

TheDuckis

Also why are you having your rehearsal 20 days before the wedding? And why aren't you just ignoring this girl and not telling her your wedding plans?

And, most importantly, why did your FI side with his family over you? I'd be rethinking all of this. And by rethinking I mean giving the ring back and cancelling the wedding.

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_anyone-else-grouchy-fsil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:c16ead98-2fb2-439d-b46c-f90cca9078dePost:75dea19e-576b-4426-a701-d193c8541100">Re: anyone else have a grouchy FSIL?</a>:
[QUOTE]a chance for everyone to see the venue (a backyard), address questions and concerns, meet and greet--we don't spend much time together.
Posted by joelsangel925[/QUOTE]

Did every decision in the planning of your wedding require a group consensus? 

**O-Face**

Um. Why do you need to include ALL of these people in your wedding decisions?

That's just fvcktarded.

hmonkey

i don't think that's what mrs. conns is asking.

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_anyone-else-grouchy-fsil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:c16ead98-2fb2-439d-b46c-f90cca9078dePost:a2d3cc85-2dd6-40b6-8de7-95f8b92cfe19">Re: anyone else have a grouchy FSIL?</a>:
[QUOTE]with the work schedules of everyone involved it was the only day that would work. 
Posted by joelsangel925[/QUOTE]

That makes no sense.  Whom did you need to 'view the venue and ask questions'?  The only people who saw my venue before my wedding were my parents and DH.  Why was your FSIL there?  Was the rest of the WP there?

**O-Face**

Hey.  Can I come?

TheDuckis

I don't think you've tried hard enough. And are you saying you should have been nastier to these people? That would have gone over really well.

Wonderw1fe

Please see: Your FSIL doesn't like you.

**O-Face**

Yes, you should do that.  And also keep programs with her name in them, but edit them with a big red marker. 

Let us know how it goes.

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_anyone-else-grouchy-fsil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:c16ead98-2fb2-439d-b46c-f90cca9078dePost:96e49ee2-7eaf-4af7-88a1-7fe5ba82a575">Re: anyone else have a grouchy FSIL?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yep...everyone.  So there would be no fits and griping later on. Waste of time in the end.  I listened.  But ultimately kept my original plans.  I figured I gave everyone a chance to have a voice.  but it isn't their wedding...it's ours.  I didn't plan their's.
Posted by joelsangel925[/QUOTE]

Why would there be 'fits and griping'?  Were all these people giving you money for the wedding or something?  Are y'all that co-dependent on one another?  WTF? 

I don't understand at all.

Wonderw1fe

*sigh*

Let your FI handle it. I'm not entirely sure you should marry him anyway, so it may be a moot point.

TheDuckis

Exactly what kind of fits and griping were you expecting?

You wasted an evening of all these people's lives so they could help you plan your wedding, then you didn't take any of their ideas anyway. You sound like a peach. I can't imagine why your fsil doesn't like you.

TheDuckis

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_anyone-else-grouchy-fsil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:c16ead98-2fb2-439d-b46c-f90cca9078dePost:c756fe6b-46ab-4f6d-964e-1e807f621794">Re: anyone else have a grouchy FSIL?</a>:
[QUOTE]So would you drop her, & the kids from the wedding?
Posted by joelsangel925[/QUOTE]

::headdesk::

How do you manage to get out of your house without assistance every day?

LnR70707

If your FI doesn't see a problem with her behavior now, it will be like this forever.  Do you really want to marry into a family that thinks twatty behavior is acceptable?

zsazsa-stl

Maybe SIL is angry that you are telling the interwebz about her toilet clogging skills.

MinM

No, I do not have a grouchy SIL. My SIL is awesome and we are quite fond of one another.

hmonkey

yes, the mention of toilet clogging was distressing and disturbing.

hmonkey

had you expressed your issue with any clarity and concision, perhaps you would have met with better results.

in the end, you will be married and your fsil will be making stank faces in all the photos you will treasure for the rest of your life.  so, win win.

BrittKnight

My FSIL is quiet and not my favorite person, but we don't have a lot in common and you should realize some people are just naturally quiet.  It's hard to change that. 

It sounds like a gigantic mess.  I couldn't keep all of it straight.  Honestly, after the first few times of her telling you no, or not answering you, or being straight up rude, why would you continue with her?  Life is waaay too short to deal with people who live to make your life poopy.    Drama is totally unnecessary and not fun.  I would say to cut this woman out of your wedding party asap, but I realize your wedding is less than a month away??  Girl, I fear it might be too late to 'fix' anything....just do whatever you can by yourself or with another trustworthy person.  Don't rely on someone who doesn't care about you or your wedding.  Hope it works out!

joelsangel925

Thank you for your reply.  I had pulled everything down because there were some really mean posts.  The FSIL pulled her kids out of the wedding on Tuesday (by email.)  My FI and his family were not surprised, and not upset.  They seemed to expect it and pretty much told me that I shouldn't worry either...and that things would be better that way.  Whatever her reasons were for being so nasty about everything...at least it's over.  I'm relieved.

Thanks again...hope you're wedding is wonderful.