What is about weddings that brings all the crazy out of the families involved? I mean seriously, why is there so much drama? I wanted a small intimate wedding, no more than 25 guests. I thought this would help reduce any wedding drama one usually hears about. Hah!!!
I thought in planning the wedding that the drama would be from my family. I mean it's not the most stable family around but we do love each other. Remarkably my family is handling everything very well. My mom is a real control freak and after several years of working with her to establish boundaries (it's working!) she's getting better. She's been very supportive and has surprised me a lot.
FI family is a different matter. We are getting married at a Lodge in the Rockies. There is a cabin and a cottage on the property as well. My parents, siblings, and grandparents are staying in one. The other was for siblings, their spouses and kids. Then his parents got divorced. Sh*t happens, and I feel badly for the entire family. (this is not the family drama, just a step leading to it). So we gave each of his parents their own rooms in the lodge. This seemed to keep everyone happy. Next thing you know, one of his sisters is "I want a room in the lodge, I can't stay in the cottage. If you don't have a room, we'll go somewhere else." We really wanted everyone to be close by but it wasn't required. Trying to keep it all drama free we asked his mom if she would switch her room in the lodge for the cottage. She kindly said yes. This all happened in January.
In June, his best man backs out of the wedding saying he can't afford to go. Here's where I get angry. They (best man and his wife) knew over a year before the wedding, turned down our offer to pay for their room since we know they don't have a lot of money, then they took a trip to Vegas in May. Is it unreasonable that I'm angry over this? So after much drama, his best man is going again but only because his wife is making him. They aren't staying in the lodge, they will stay in a cheaper hotel. Which I get, it saves them money. We weren't making everyone stay, we asked in the beginning who wanted to stay in the lodge and provided cost information, they said they wanted a room. As long as his best man is there I don't care where they stay. Actually I'm happy they won't be in the lodge with us now.
But now his other sister wants the open room in the lodge instead of staying in the cottage. That's a 6 person cottage that would only have his mother in it. This doesn't work because after FI grandmother decided not to come, I invited one of my friends who hasn't booked a room yet in another hotel. I invited her shortly before the best man drama so I told her to hold on, there might be a room in the lodge depending on how that turned out. This is the last lodge room available and I would like for it to go to my friend since his sister already has the cottage. Plus my FI wants his sister in the cottage. She has two kids, one is an infant and he doesn't want a baby in the lodge where we are. and they usually stay up until 4 in the morning. That was the reason his second sister didn't want to stay with her. I can't blame her for that.
It just gets on my nerves that his family is so picky. And the fact that my parents picked the cabin over the cottage before his family - that was drama from one of his sisters. The cabin holds more people. My parents picked it because they knew they could share with my grandparents and one of my uncles. But his sister was angry they didn't get first dibs. WTF????
On a positive note, my FMIL is amazing. She's been through a lot with her recent divorce and has gone out of her way to help us. She traded her room with one of her daughters and I love her for that. I know a lot of women out there have MIL issues. So far mine seem to be SIL issues.
We have 5 months to go and I'm ready to scream. I think I've done well though. I haven't confronted anyone other than his best man about their behavior. I just kindly point out that we are limited in rooms and we need everyone to work together. Or I don't say anything, I let FI do most of that with his sisters. I just needed to get this off my chest. I keep telling myself it'll all work out and the only important thing is that FI and I will be there and will be married. I just needed to vent and I didn't want to unload on my FI. He knows my feelings regarding how his siblings and best man are acting. If I brought it up again to him, I'm sure it would fall into the B*tch/Nag catergory.
So thanks for reading and if you have any helpful pointers on how to avoid or better handle all this let me know.
