inviting entire churches to my wedding?

jlegga1

My fiance and I are getting married in May of 2012. This will be right after he graduates from college and then I will have one more year of college left. We both attend Bible college where my fiance is studying youth ministry/preaching. We are both obviously very involved in the church and between the two of us we have 3 church families (one is his home church, one is his weekend ministry church, and one is the church we both are a part of while at school). Obviously we want to invite some of the people from our churches that we are close with to our wedding but a lot of people keep telling me that I HAVE to send an invitation to each church congregation. I understand that it would be a nice gesture but I'm not a fan of sending an invitation to three entire churches. I am hoping to have a smaller wedding and more intimate wedding and reception so sending out an invite to three churches that have around 100 members each seems like a bad idea. I also have to think about the financial side of things since we are both still in college and can't afford a huge wedding. Everyone keeps telling me that since my fiance is going to be a preacher we must invite all three congregations but I feel like that's not necessarily the case. What do you guys think? Is it rude to not invite everyone from each church?

*Barbie*

my husband and i got married in a catholic church where the congregation is in the thousands. we did not invite the entire congregation to our wedding.

only invite the people that you want to invite, and someone gives you a hard time about it, just say, "that's how we're choosing to do things, thanks for your concern."

6fsn

I have heard of places where it is common to invite the whole Church.  I don't understand it though.  MHO- invite who you want to be there.  If there is a social expectation to invite everyone, consider just a cake and punch reception at another time.

VarunaTT

I know that in this area, it's not uncommon for there to be a general invitation to the wedding in churches, but it takes an invite to get to the reception.

*shrug*  I really think you're in a hard spot.  You can stick to your guns and say, "I'm sorry, we're having a small ceremony and don't have a lot of room" or invite to the wedding only and keep reception information separated somehow so you don't have uninviteds showing up.

I'd stick to my guns, frankly.  I always thought it was weird that people would want to just go to the wedding and watch and not get to enjoy the celebration of what you just watched as well.

ReturnOfKuus

Heavens to Murgatroyd, that's a lot of people to feed!  Tell the people who insist that you invite whole congregations that you'd be happy to do so if they (the busybodies) foot the bill.  It's terribly gauche to invite people to the ceremony and not the reception, after all.

hmonkey

the only time the entire church got invited was when the pastor himself got married. 

i can see how some people would not be offended and want to celebrate by attending the ceremony and not the reception, but those people are pretty rare.

zsazsa-stl

If you think it will be an issue, mention to one busy-body at each church that you had to invite either three whole churches or none, so you were choosing to keep it small and affordable.  99.9% of people will understand that and the other 0.01% wouldn't be happy anyway.

squarepeg72

It is a tradition in my area to give an invitation to the curch to be placed on the message board at the back of the church. If it is an open invitation to the congregtion a sign up sheet is included for those who wish to atttend. We belong to a small country church (under 100 members)  and most of them are family anyway.

You may want to consider inviting those who are closest to you from each congregtion and then ask the ladies of the churches about having a reception or after service social at the church after the wedding.

jlegga1

Thanks you guys! I feel a lot better knowing that most of you feel the same way I do! It is frustrating to have so many people (including my MIL) trying to tell me that I absolutely have to invite all the churches. Especially when I'M the one paying for all of the wedding and reception and I'm still in college...