Wedding website with limited guests but want to inform everyone???

joyp1

So,  we've finally decided on a small intimate affair (50 people at the max).  However we both know a LOT of people who will probably be offeneded they didn't make the guest list cut.  We'd like to keep everyone in the loop that we are getting married, that it will be a small intimate affair, share how we met, registries etc (we will not be posting the location/time on the site).

How do we gracefully put small intimate affair, but we still want to include you in our lives, without it being a complete slap-in-the-face?  We will probably do a low-key bridal shower or post-wedding gathering of sorts that many of these people will end up at.

brittanyjterrell

I don't think I understand exactly what you are saying.. but I will try to help..

DON'T post the website on social networking sites (i.e Facebook, Twitter, etc) where all these people who are not invited will be able to see and maybe even start asking for invitations (yes, people do THIS!)

DO tell the people you are inviting that it is a small, intimate affair and that might deter them from yelling to the mountain tops about all your wedding plans, pre-parties, etc.

HOPE THIS HELPS!

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wedding-website-limited-guests-but-want-inform-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:d47bc61e-3412-4532-a7ad-067b6d1e035aPost:788ba5b6-6d97-4d35-86e0-3d6f0a4f5431">Wedding website with limited guests but want to inform everyone???</a>:
[QUOTE]So,  we've finally decided on a small intimate affair (50 people at the max).  However we both know a LOT of people who will probably be offeneded they didn't make the guest list cut.  We'd like to keep everyone in the loop that we are getting married, that it will be a small intimate affair, share how we met, <strong>registries</strong> etc (we will not be posting the location/time on the site). How do we gracefully put small intimate affair, but we still want to include you in our lives, without it being a complete slap-in-the-face?  <strong>We will probably do a low-key bridal shower or post-wedding gathering of sorts that many of these people will end up at.
</strong>Posted by joyp1[/QUOTE]

Translation: We still want these people to send us gifts, we just don't want to invite them to our wedding.

ETA -- My brain is slow this morning. Are you saying you're going to invite these people to your bridal shower <em>before</em> the wedding but not invite them to the wedding? TACKY. And rude. Well, in any event, before or after the wedding, it's tacky and rude.

covejack

Yeah, no.  None of it.  You can't invite people to showers or celebrations of events that they're not invited to.  Imagine how that would feel, at a shower.  One guests says to another, "I can't wait for the wedding".  The other guest is/was not invited.  Huge opportunity to hurt the feelings of your nearest and dearest.

Also, you don't give people registry info unless they're invited to the wedding.  The website should only be for those on the guest list.

jbirgl

Do NOT send anything to people who you are not inviting.  It will make you look like you want them to give you a gift, but they are not good enought to be a part of it.  Instead, maybe you could put something together as a gift for them.  A wedding photo with the information on it and a little note from the bride and groom saying it was an intimate affair.  Sent after you are married.

*Barbie*

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wedding-website-limited-guests-but-want-inform-everyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:d47bc61e-3412-4532-a7ad-067b6d1e035aPost:e7b83717-2845-462c-9081-3c5fc851655c">Re: Wedding website with limited guests but want to inform everyone???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Wedding website with limited guests but want to inform everyone??? : <strong>Translation: We still want these people to send us gifts, we just don't want to invite them to our wedding.</strong> ETA -- My brain is slow this morning. Are you saying you're going to invite these people <strong>to your bridal shower before the wedding but not invite them to the wedding? TACKY. And rude. Well, in any event, before or after the wedding, it's tacky and rude.
</strong>Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

ditto all of this.

rascal17

I would not do the shower or post wedding affair. Inviting people to this and not the actual wedding is a slap in the face no matter how you say or word it. I was invited to a engagement party and then was not invited to the actual wedding and you know what I was upset about that for a while. The couple did this to a lot of their friends and at the party we made very very vaige plans for the wedding but then none of us got invited, it sucked.

If you dont/cant invite them to the wedding you just dont tell them about it. If they ask just tell them something along the lines of "as much as we would like to have everyone we know there we are keeping it small and intimate with just very close family and/or friends" Your going to have to just deal with the awkwardness and some people being upset that they are not invited. I am having a small wedding of a little less than 100 but if I were to invite everyone who wants to be there I could be looking at over 300, and yes telling those other 200 people when they ask is hard and awkward but it needs to be done. 

kmmssg

Like the others said, any of those people you want to include but can't invite to the wedding MUST NOT be invited to a shower or a party afterwards.

People who are not included in the guest list have no need to know where you are registered as they won't be attending any gift giving events.  If there is a onesy/twosy who opts to send you a gift they will hit the internet or ask where  you are registered.