Mom Advice

craftymandyj

Hello everyone,

First post here, so please be kind   Looking for other perspectives on my situation...

My fiance and I are planning a very small wedding, at a very small woodsy location, in early September.  Our guest list has been minimized to the bare minimum (40) and we are technically 10 people over our original limit at that number.  My mom, however, is being very pushy in trying to get "only 12" more people invited.  When you're already at 10 over the original limit, 12 more is a LOT! 

Granted, I haven't invited a lot of people from my family - just parents, grandparents and my brother.  Everyone else on the guest list is my fiance's family, and very close mutual friends.  I come from a large family, so to invite one aunt/uncle pair, means you have to invite them ALL - or someone gets offended.  Add to that all cousins and their kids (again, invite one and invite them all), and we have an additional 75 people on our hands at a minimum.

We wanted a really small, fun wedding - and I don't feel it's necessary to go crazy with my half of the guest list since it's my second wedding.  I'm also not going to change the guest list - all the save the dates have been out for a while now.

Not looking to change anything - just looking for opinions and advice (and to vent!).  Anyone else have a similar situation or ideas on how to handle this without blowing up?

Thanks

Butter Cookie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_mom-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:d4d8b1f6-2216-48ec-8a09-efecdfbc19cePost:12263461-c74d-485c-860a-0f839ac8ea85">Mom Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello everyone, First post here, so please be kind :)  Looking for other perspectives on my situation... My fiance and I are planning a very small wedding, at a very small woodsy location, in early September.  Our guest list has been minimized to the bare minimum (40) and we are technically 10 people over our original limit at that number.  My mom, however, is being very pushy in trying to get "only 12" more people invited.  When you're already at 10 over the original limit, 12 more is a LOT!  Granted, I haven't invited a lot of people from my family - just parents, grandparents and my brother.  Everyone else on the guest list is my fiance's family, and very close mutual friends.  I come from a large family, so to invite one aunt/uncle pair, means you have to invite them ALL - or someone gets offended.  Add to that all cousins and their kids (again, invite one and invite them all), and we have an additional 75 people on our hands at a minimum. We wanted a really small, fun wedding - and I don't feel it's necessary to go crazy with my half of the guest list since it's my second wedding.  I'm also not going to change the guest list - all the save the dates have been out for a while now. Not looking to change anything - just looking for opinions and advice (and to vent!).  Anyone else have a similar situation or ideas on how to handle this without blowing up? Thanks :)
Posted by craftymandyj[/QUOTE]
Definitely put your foot down. You can do this nicely. Just let her know you have a budget and you're not going to go over it. If you're firm you should be fine.

Paulo's Menina Bela

Just be firm and say, "no".  That's all you can do. It's your wedding, your guest list, and your budget (I'm assuming you're paying). You have the final say in all decsions. Your mother will have to accept that.

jojobrn

Just practice smiling and saying "Sorry, we're having a very small wedding, our guest list is limited."

craftymandyj

Thanks everyone.  My fiance and I are paying for everything ourselves - and adding a bunch more people means changing everything we've ordered and budgeted for so far.

Thanks for your advice.

*Barbie*

i'm making a big assumption here - but if you are old enough to be on your second marriage, you are also old enough to be paying for your own wedding, and old enough to tell Mommy "no"

HookaPants

The site we've chosen holds # of people. We've reached that limit.

DG1

Yep, what they said.  I started telling people, "sure, but they'll have to eat in the bathroom, because the venue is at capacity with the current guest list."  That tended to shut them up. 

No worries. They'll get over it.

Heffalump

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_mom-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:d4d8b1f6-2216-48ec-8a09-efecdfbc19cePost:9eec8996-a1f0-45f2-bcc9-da83b9ec602d">Re: Mom Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]Yep, what they said.  <strong>I started telling people, "sure, but they'll have to eat in the bathroom, because the venue is at capacity with the current guest list."</strong>  That tended to shut them up.  No worries. They'll get over it.
Posted by DG1[/QUOTE]

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ReturnOfKuus

Just saying no is fine.