*scratches head*-randomosity ensues

**O-Face**

Seriously.  I hate my work environment at times.

My mother is constantly bad mouthing my father at work.  Talking and complaining about his attitude and what not.  She supposes herself such a positive person but sometimes her actions don't jive.  Piss and vinegar that one.

The on the OTHER hand my father is so oblivious to any of this ill-will that it's almost sad.  TOTALLY oblivious. 

I just told my mother that she'll probably end up suffocating my father with a pillow.  She disagreed, but I'm not so sure.  Sometimes I just remember not to be so bitter when I'm older.

MinM

My mom is trying to make it her brother's fault that my grandfather is dying. I asked her not to make him feel as crappy as possible before his dad dies. She said she wanted to, because how many times has he made all of us feel crappy. I said, as one of those people, I know how crappy it is to lose your dad, and I don't feel like there is any need to pile on. But, to each their own.

zsazsa-stl

When I am alone with either of my parents the topic of discussion always turns to the other one and what they are doing wrong in life.  They prefer not to talk to each other about these things, just other people.

I need to do a better job of not doing the same thing.  I am very guilty of complaining about H to my mom.  But at least I also complain about him to his face.  He knows all of my gripes.

**O-Face**

I just don't understand holding things over people's heads...the only one suffering is YOU.  Hello!?!?!

**O-Face**

Zsa, are your parents still married? 

I really don't want to end up like my parents.  Not communicating, talking in code, complaining, harumphing all over the place.  USE YOUR WORDS.

VarunaTT

My mom and I agreed to call each other out on this a few years ago so that we don't do that anymore.  Neither one of us needs to be involved in the other's marriage, definite conflicts of interest going on there.

I try very hard not to complain about DH to anyone but him (I have a select friend I'll vent to, b/c she'll call me on my side of the BS and I trust her viewpoint).   I learned the hard way that the people in your life don't forgive and forget like you do b/c they're not vested in the relationship the same way you are.  I don't mind the funny annoying stories I'll share that make me eyeroll, but the actual serious stuff I keep close now.

zsazsa-stl

Yes, unhappily married for 45 years.   I think they still like each other, but they really suck at communicating. They both get their feelings hurt too easily so they just opt not to talk about the sensitive things. 

Lizzieyounce

I'm really pizzed off at my sister. My mom has basically been bedridden since January 2011, and I spent half of last year with her at the hospital, in ICU, at PT etc., so that dad could work for the insurance benes. I didn't mind at all, this is my mother and I love her dearly.

So dad ended up getting retired early (his company "retired" him), and they have Medicare, so he stays home with her now. The thing that pizzes me off is, dad never gets a respite unless I go over there. I live an hour away. My sister lives 5 minutes away.

Sure, she works FT and has a family and all, but I'm in nursing school FT and I have a family to take care of too. Yet my sister bi*ches about going over to be with mom so that dad can go to the grocery or just get out of the house for a few hours.

She also complains to me about being asked to do these things! I'm like "sis, I commutted an hour each way, every damn day for 6 months. I sat by her side in ICU every day for 2 weeks, while mom was on a respirator. I've taken her to her doctor appointments, helped her on the bedside commode, etc, etc. don't tell me about how much you hate having to spend an hour or so here and there with mom, so that daddy can have a break."

It's so frustrating!!!  She's like, well it's practice for you for when you are actually nursing. Really???  WTF?

Sorry for the rant...but thanks for reading.