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Called the Wrong Name...at the Rehearsal Dinner...by FI

MeganAngelaMeganAngela member
100 Comments
in Wedding Woes
I didn't know where else to put this, so if this is the wrong board, I'm sorry.

I'm getting married today at 5 p.m.  Yesterday was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.  During the rehearsal dinner, my FI semi-prepared a small speech.  By that I mean he had a few notes on paper, but basically winged it.  During the speech he was telling one of our friends how happy he was she had been a rock throughout the planning process, but he called me the wrong name.  In fact, he called me the name of his ex-girlfriend loudly in front of the entire room obviously including my family and friends.  I was completely shocked and hurt and so embarrassed.  And, of course, it led to a flurry of other speeches trying to correct the damage, but only rubbed the mistake in more.

I'm trying to get past it.  I know I should.  I mean, I love the man, right?  I held it together at the dinner, but had a huge breakdown once I was home.  People keep telling me I shouldn't be hurt and should forget it, but how do you forget something like that when it happens at the pre-wedding festivities?  I know I'll get over it in time, but is it wrong to not be able to just shrug it off immediately after the fact?

Anyone else have similar stories?  Maybe I'd feel better if I knew there were other people that it happened to.

TIA
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Re: Called the Wrong Name...at the Rehearsal Dinner...by FI

  • amerz18amerz18
    10 Comments
    It's probably just nerves. I've called my fiancee the wrong name plenty of times, I've even called him my brother's name...lol...but seriously, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and it's most likely he's got horrible butterflies. Not all guys are cheating idiots.
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  • MeganAngelaMeganAngela member
    100 Comments
    edited March 2012
    Oh, no.  I don't think he's a cheater by annnnny stretch of the imagination!  I didn't mean for it to come off that way.  It just hurt and was embarrassing, that's all.  And, of course, since it happened at the rehearsal dinner in front of a lot of people instead of on accident in private, it is harder to quietly sweep under the rug.  And, if he had accidentally called me his sister's name, I'd just laugh it off because that wouldn't really bother me.  But he called me the name of his ex-girlfriend which was his first love, so it definitely stung.

    Thanks for your response!  I appreciate it!
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited March 2012
    You know, hon - it was just an accident.  A poorly-timed, human being type accident.  He is probably a ball of nerves and it just happened.  If you have never had a doubt how much he loves and adores you, please don't let this be what changes that.

    DH and I have been married for over 15 years and it's a second marriage for both of us.  There has been probably 3 or 4 times over the years where he called me his ex's name.  It was an honest accident everytime and we laughed and let it go.

    I am sure your FI colldn't feel any worse about this if he tried.  And to know he did it at your RD breaks his heart even more.  Forgive the accident and let it go.  It will be good practice for the rest of your marriage.

    Now...a little wedding day advice from a 3 time MOB who has 4 DDs.

    TODAY IS YOUR WEDDING DAY!!!!  YIPPEE!!!  You have been planning this for a long time and you are marrying the man you love and who loves you.  Take charge of this day and OWN IT!!  You will decide how this day goes.  Don't worry about the food, cake, flowers, decorations, etc.  Decide right now that you are going to love this day.  Don't let anything steal your joy or your thunder.  Your FI is going to be blown away when he sees you in your gown.  Remember everything you can about this day as it will go quickly.  I wish you the very best wedding day and a happy marriage.  Let last night go and know that the man loves and adores you.

    How about coming back in a few days and telling us all about the wedding?
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    His timing couldn't have been worse,because both of your nerves are intense at this point.  But as the PP said, it was an accident.  By this time next year, you will be able to tease him  (gently please) about his slip.  In ten years, it will be a great story to tell people about with a smile.  And once your grandhildren are born, you'll tell them the story for a hoot and a holler.   But there's a big IF here.  It will only be a funny fond memory if you forgive him and let it go.  You are the only one with that power.  Don't let a nervous accident weigh you down. 
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  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2012
    Eh, it worked out for Ross and Rachel several years later.  But you're not Rachel.  Awkward.
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  • MrsMyrtleMrsMyrtle member
    1000 Comments
    edited March 2012
    You're on TK on your wedding day? Girl, go get married and forget about it.
    image
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  • allisonkbyeallisonkbye member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    Forget about it. My mom still accidentally calls my husband my ex's name sometimes (husbands last name is same as ex's first). I used to get called his ex's name to, both our names start with same letter. **it happens!
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  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    I am anxious to hear if he made it through the vows correctly. 

    H has slipped and called me his ex's name a few times over the years.  Oh well.  She was prettier than me so I'm not going to be offended. 
    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Maybe it's just me...

    He didn't call her his sister's name or his bff's name, but his ex's name at the rehearsal dinner.

    Dog, that ain't cool.
    image
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_called-the-wrong-nameat-the-rehearsal-dinnerby-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:da8fa3a3-e6bc-4e2f-ac5c-7248e7b7fcb9Post:d57bb02b-2542-432d-afbb-4427be04f8d0">Re: Called the Wrong Name...at the Rehearsal Dinner...by FI</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe it's just me... He didn't call her his sister's name or his bff's name, but his ex's name at the rehearsal dinner. Dog, that ain't cool.
    Posted by NOLABridesmaid[/QUOTE]


    Yeah, I'm with you.  He's not cheating, but he is wishing he were marrying someone else instead.
    image
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  • Megan+AdamMegan+Adam member
    10 Comments
    edited March 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_called-the-wrong-nameat-the-rehearsal-dinnerby-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:da8fa3a3-e6bc-4e2f-ac5c-7248e7b7fcb9Post:af6236fd-77c4-445a-8517-265b16db198a">Re: Called the Wrong Name...at the Rehearsal Dinner...by FI</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Called the Wrong Name...at the Rehearsal Dinner...by FI : Yeah, I'm with you.  He's not cheating, but he is wishing he were marrying someone else instead.
    Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]

    <div>Edited: I really think it could have just been nerves. Assuming that when you know nothing else about the situation seems like a jump to me. </div>
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