uninvited guests coming anyway

Katyb88

So... we are only able to have 83 people at our reception. My fiance has a cousin we weren't planning on inviting- due to closeness and reception space issues. Long story short- she doesn't realize that by not receiving a save the date she wasn't invited but has informed us that not only is she coming but she and her husband want to travel with their wheelchair bound son. We are very adament about our child free reception, but keep asking us to make an allowance. 

What do I do?!? As of right now 11 people will have to eat their dinners outside. I dont want to say no and have them think I dont like the handicapped.  

LittleMissCutiePie

Saying no won't make them think you don't "like the handicapped". As they seem like they're already making travel plans (which is very rude and presumptuous of them), you have no choice but to nip this in the bud. Even though these situations usually call for waiting until the invites have gone out, you shouldn't let them make their arrangemenets and be stuck when the day comes and they're trying to come. Ask your FI to call his cousin and her family and explain very politely that unfortunately you have a very limited guest list and could not invite everyone that you wanted to. If she gets offended or angry, don't say anything. She's the rude one for assuming. Oh, and please please don't tell me that you're planning on inviting guests to the ceremony and not the reception. That's terrible form.

KatoNorway

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_uninvited-guests-coming-anyway?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:de9215df-eb34-4119-b579-07fcaf12d76ePost:2caf42d7-732f-40c7-b2bd-ee2e6545ac36">Re: uninvited guests coming anyway</a>:
[QUOTE]... <em><strong>Ask your FI to call his cousin and her family and explain very politely that unfortunately you have a very limited guest list and could not invite everyone that you wanted to. If she gets offended or angry, don't say anything.</strong></em>...
Posted by LittleMissCutiePie[/QUOTE]
THIS!
Also, in most cases, people do make exceptions to the no children invited when there is a handicapped child. It's much harder to find a "babysitter" for a handicapped child than it is for a child who is not handicapped.
I think your already in trouble by not being able to fit 11 people in your venue! <span style="font-weight:bold;text-decoration:underline;">You must be sure that there is a chair for everyone.</span> Start looking into other venues.

Katyb88

The venue is set and no way will I change it. There are tables outside if I had to have them, but I find it too rude to ask people to sit out there. My FI is fine with cutting the list but his parents are hell bent against it. So instead it looks as though I'm going to end up cutting out my friends.

Can I quit my wedding now please?

RaptorSLH

Who is paying?  If it's the in-laws, sorry, you're probably stuck with their must-haves.  If it's you and your FI, it's time for the two of you to stand up to his parents.  Watch this during the planning, because if FI won't support you, or the two of you back down to his parents, you're setting a pattern that will follow you through your marriage.

As far as the cousin, what pp's said.  Time to correct this, and because it's his family, it's his job.

ReturnOfKuus

I don't get why you would even consider cutting your friends from your guest list to your wedding to accommodate some cousin who didn't even make the cut to get invited in the first place, all because his parents are upset.  Don't you think your friends will be upset if you don't invite them to your wedding because you didn't have the guts to stand up to your MIL?