I was totally tag teamed by mothers

ScrubGirl83

I am new here. But, I am getting married on August 3rd. My mother was in town this past week to do wedding planning things with me. My FI is out of town this month for job training but while she was here, she and I had dinner with my FMIL. They totally ganged up on me about things like a receiving line and a seating chart. Things my FI and I had decided not to do. There was only so much sipping champagne and saying "we'll think about it" before I started debating it with them. It got ugly. It felt like if I didn't listen to them I was ruining my wedding and hurting their feelings. My mom and I have since worked out compromises on the seating chart but my FI and I are standing firm on a no receiving line. I think it's boring, takes forever and isn't fun for really anyone involved. Our plan is to go around to every table to thank people for coming. My mother has agreed to this. His hasn't. It really seemed like since he wasn't there, they decided to gang up on me. I'm really just venting here, and kind of asking about receiving lines I guess. Before I get the whole "it's YOUR wedding" thing, I know that. It's just a lot harder to put that into practice. His mom and I have already struggled with other things about the wedding (not inviting children, how much God we are allowing into our ceremony, that she's not making my invitations, that this isn't his brothers wedding all over again) and she and I have struggled for a relationship anyway. Pfft. Mothers in law.

tawillers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_i-was-totally-tag-teamed-by-mothers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:df2fb1ff-0a69-4311-98c7-e0a516527caaPost:59d12f93-7dd6-4ee4-b754-31098efc69c4">I was totally tag teamed by mothers</a>:
[QUOTE]I am new here. But, I am getting married on August 3rd. My mother was in town this past week to do wedding planning things with me. My FI is out of town this month for job training but while she was here, she and I had dinner with my FMIL. They totally ganged up on me about things like a receiving line and a seating chart. Things my FI and I had decided not to do. There was only so much sipping champagne and saying "we'll think about it" before I started debating it with them. It got ugly. It felt like if I didn't listen to them I was ruining my wedding and hurting their feelings. My mom and I have since worked out compromises on the seating chart but my FI and I are standing firm on a no receiving line. I think it's boring, takes forever and isn't fun for really anyone involved. Our plan is to go around to every table to thank people for coming<strong>. </strong>My mother has agreed to this. His hasn't. It really seemed like since he wasn't there, they decided to gang up on me. I'm really just venting here, and kind of asking about receiving lines I guess. <strong>Before I get the whole "it's YOUR wedding" thing, I know that.</strong> <strong>It's just a lot harder to put that into practice.</strong> His mom and I have already struggled with other things about the wedding (not inviting children, how much God we are allowing into our ceremony, that she's not making my invitations, that this isn't his brothers wedding all over again) and she and I have struggled for a relationship anyway. Pfft. Mothers in law.
Posted by christinad18[/QUOTE]

If I were you, I'd start practicing now. With your FI. I'm guessing the wedding won't be the only thing these mothers will poke their noses into. They'll probably have an opinion other things - when/where to buy a house, and kids, oh man, they'll have a lot to say about raising your kids.

Unless you want to have those lunches for the rest of their lives, I'd figure out how to do the "thanks, but no thanks" thing.

kerbohl

If it helps, I agree with your opinion about the receiving line, and will be going up to tables to say hello to everyone.  Your idea makes sense, and you need to stand your ground!  Trust me, people try to push you around for wedding planning, and you just have to tell them that you will consider their opinions, but at the end it is yours and your FI decision.  Otherwise you'll be stuck in a boring receiving line.

lizybeff

You're right about receiving lines.  Don't do one if it isn't your style.  As for your FMIL, you need to stand your ground.  You not wanting a receiving line is really a very minor issue and she shouldn't be upset over it.  To prevent future wedding-related issues from occurring, maybe you should just stop telling her about your plans.