Help!

MLincoln17

I just recently got engaged and have been looking around at different vendors so I can get a budget down for my wedding.  I have just been visiting the different vendors sites and seeing around what the average cost is for their services so I know around what price to ask for when I go meet with these people.  I contacted the DJ who did both of my sisters' weddings as well as other family members and he is giving me a great discount.  He said he will charge $1000 for a 5 hour reception (this includes 2 DJs).  I told my fiance this and he does not think $1000 is a good deal for a DJ and has been complaining about all the prices I get from vendors.  My parents are paying for the reception and cake, and my fiance and I are paying for the vendors, but this is becoming more stressful then I imagined.  Any suggestions?

ReturnOfKuus

This is suspiciously similar to when my parents thought houses shouldn't cost more than $15K.

MNNEBride

I suggest you and he do some comparison shopping.  Give him a list of folks to call and get quotes.  I don't think many people have an idea of what wedding vendors cost until they start planning.  Prices are also very regional so it will depend on where you are located.  Your local board will helpful in suggesting vendors.

ReturnOfKuus

You know he's going to get a super low price from some guy in the cafeteria who owns an ipod and a pair of computer speakers.

StephBeanWed61502

My FI and I found it was much easier to set an overall wedding budget - that is, what we were willing to pay for the entire thing - then decide what percentage of the budget we wanted to allocate to each vendor.  (50% to the catering hall, 10% to photography, 0% to limos because we think they're a waste of money, etc.)  It made it much easier to talk to vendors, because we already had a set price in mind, and it also helped us to put prices into context.  $1000 doesn't sound too bad for a DJ, but it's bad if your entire budget is $5000 for a whole wedding, KWIM?  Figure out what you're willing to spend on everything you're responsible for paying for in total, then talk about what's reasonable for each individual vendor.

NeedFavors

I agree, sit down with FI and make a list of priorities. #1 will be the most expensive, #2 next and at the end you'll have the "not mandatory, but nice to have". Then set an overall budget for the entire cost (based on your savings, or how much you can afford). If the DJ is most important, it will take away money from other things.

lynxbbgirl

When H and I were trying to find another DJ after our first one backed out (he had an odd family connection to H through the family...) I had to tell him what the highs and the lows where, what the ratings were etc. We needed up going with someone back by the BBB and paid only a bit more.

If you are starting to feel stressed about it, now is the time to sit down with fi and talk to him about how hard you are working on everything and him getting upset and saying everything you are finding is starting to hurt your feelings/ becoming a bit much. Show him all your notes, I'm sure it will make him see how hard you have been working on the wedding!

lynxbbgirl

Also, just saw that you have like a year and a half until you get married, tell him you are just starting to look and you will talk with him before making up your mind 100%, this is his wedding too. I hope you guys both enjoy your day!

MLincoln17

Thanks everyone.  I figured I would worry about the chruch, venue, and DJ right now.  The DJ sets the mode for the whole night and we definitley have it in our budget.  My problem is that he wants to hire some guy he works with that he does not have his own DJ company, only DJs every once in a while, and my FI has no idea what this man's last name is.  I am just scared that since he is so worried about trying to save a buck (when we definitley have the means in our budget to get a great DJ) that he is going to settle for anyone.  I told him we need to do research together and we will go and see 3 or 4 DJs and decide together from there, but he doesn't want to hear it.  He says he wants this guy from his work...I told him I would be willing to make an appointment and see what this guy can do, but he says I don't trust his decision making skills because I want to meet with this guy before I hire him...

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_help-21?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:e0fa4d86-0664-48b6-b156-615b925c1bcePost:bfe460f3-16b1-4d16-95b2-0f7d7cde499b">Re: Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks everyone.  I figured I would worry about the chruch, venue, and DJ right now.  The DJ sets the mode for the whole night and we definitley have it in our budget.  My problem is that he wants to hire some guy he works with that he does not have his own DJ company, only DJs every once in a while, and my FI has no idea what this man's last name is.  I am just scared that since he is so worried about trying to save a buck (when we definitley have the means in our budget to get a great DJ) that he is going to settle for anyone.  I told him we need to do research together and we will go and see 3 or 4 DJs and decide together from there, but he doesn't want to hear it.  He says he wants this guy from his work...I told him I would be willing to make an appointment and see what this guy can do, but <strong>he says I don't trust his decision making skills because I want to meet with this guy before I hire him...
</strong>Posted by MLincoln17[/QUOTE]

Sounds to me like you guys are having a communication problem... it's completely insane that your FI thinks he gets to just make decisions about <em>anything</em> that affects the two of you jointly, then refuse to let you be a part of the process because you should just "trust his decision making skills."  Does this mean he gets to buy a house and you have no say?  A car?  Does this mean you can just go hire a caterer and plan the menu with no input from him?  I'd have a serious talk with him about why he feels like he gets to shut you out of the decision-making process.

lnl1025

I actually think depending on your location $1000 is pretty high for a dj for 5 hours. Have you shopped around? I live in Nebraska ( but from San Diego) and both places, you could find a reputable dj, definitly below $1000 and for more hours.

MLincoln17

I have shopped around a lot.  For wedding DJs in Jersey, $1000 is a steal