Engaged and Miserable?

lab1219

Lately, my fiance and I seem to have conflict after conflict. It wasn't like this before we were engaged. I hate conflict and find myself miserable and depressed right now. My parents are divorced, which makes me worry that we will head for the same fate with all of our bickering. However, I truly love him and can't imagine living my life without him. Is this normal? Help!

KatyRoseM

Its normal to have more stress, and that makes people fight more.  We were like that too, suddenly every little thing was a big deal.  Just take a deep breath and see what the issues really are, is it really that he didn't do the dishes or is it something else?  I bet its something else and that you can work through it.  Its probably not really a big deal, just that things are changing and this happens when things change.

Lastly, pre-marital counseling is a good idea for everyone.

baconsmom

I second the suggestion of counseling. Pre-marital counseling is good for just about everyone, but especially if you're fighting that much. 

My husband and I almost never fight; I can't imagine marrying someone I didn't get along with well on a day-to-day basis, and I think constant conflict is a reason to re-examine why you're engaged to this particular person. 

TheDuckis

Are you fighting over what color the tuxes will be or what religion you'll raise your children?

A little bit of bickering over details and small issues is normal, but if any of your arguments are over dealbreaker issues you have a problem.

There's a difference between premarital counseling and couple's counseling. I highly recommend meeting with someone to help you go over large items like finances, division of labor, and parenting. But if you need outside intervention simply to deal with day-to-day arguments I'd advise you to cut your losses and move on.

LaurenLee615

I think my fiance and I are doing the same thing.  For us it's just too much stress and being too busy with all the wedding details.  We have to stop every once in a while, breath, and remember why we are doing all of this.  Just today we had to stop in the kitchen and just hug to get over  the fact that we were fighting about nothing.  Just breath deep and love eachother.  Everything else will fall in place.

ks3pink

Its normal!  We are having the same issue and I admitted yesterday that I'm just stressed from planning a wedding that has gotten hugely expensive for what I thought I could do it for even with my parents paying.  Its hard.  I will also be student teaching in the fall (wedding is in October) so we have agreed to disagree on the small stuff for now, it won't get better until at least October is not December!  Like others said, if its petty ur good, if its not then...... ur not.

vthorwesten

I noticed that with myself and FI... Especially lately. It's the everday stuff...We realize that this is happening so we both have our "alone time" even both of us just staying at home in seperate rooms for a while (during the day/evening) and it seems to work for both of us.