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COPY CAT!!!! ugh!

So my cousin just proposed to his girlfriend of like seven months and I am very happy for them. After a few days she and I talked about her wedding plans (my date is 5-28-11 and her's is 7-18-12) to see what her ideas were. I find out that she is basically copying my wedding! The colors, the venue (minus the church) are the same and even asked me what my dress was going to look like because she wanted something similar to my own. And to top it all off I checked out her wedding website and discovered that she used the same background as mine and even copy pasted the wording from mine and just changed the names! Does she not have any imagination or creativity or dreamed about what her wedding should have been like as a little girl. I know this may sound petty, but whatever, it is my day and shouldn't I be allowed to have my OWN wedding and OWN ideas without someone copy it down to the littlest detail...maybe I should be flattered that she likes my ideas so much to use them but I'm not. What should I do before I blow up at her??? Thanks in advance!

Re: COPY CAT!!!! ugh!

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    vsgalvsgal member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_copy-cat-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:e9bd9b3b-05a4-4ea9-90d1-9b47aee3f37ePost:95b86481-dec3-4d6f-b88e-0b2c62e8f8c8">COPY CAT!!!! ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]So my cousin just proposed to his girlfriend of like seven months and I am very happy for them. After a few days she and I talked about her wedding plans (my date is 5-28-11 and her's is 7-18-12) to see what her ideas were. I find out that she is basically copying my wedding! The colors, the venue (minus the church) are the same and even asked me what my dress was going to look like because she wanted something similar to my own. And to top it all off I checked out her wedding website and discovered that she used the same background as mine and even copy pasted the wording from mine and just changed the names! Does she not have any imagination or creativity or dreamed about what her wedding should have been like as a little girl. I know this may sound petty, but whatever, it is my day and shouldn't I be allowed to have my OWN wedding and OWN ideas without someone copy it down to the littlest detail...maybe I should be flattered that she likes my ideas so much to use them but I'm not. What should I do before I blow up at her??? Thanks in advance!
    Posted by Sarbell585[/QUOTE]

    You have got to take a chill pill. 

    You need to understand that you do not have a monopoly on your ideas.  You got your ideas from someone else.  You wedding will not be 100% original just as hers will not be.  Most weddings are regurgitated versions of each other any way. Dp you honestly think that anything on any wedding website or in any bridal magazine is a brand new idea.  For example, I went to three weddings last year with a beach theme with the same light blue and tan color scheme, a candy bar and a photo booth.  No joke and I guarantee that all of those couples thought their wedding was unique and one-of-a kind.

    Maybe she likes the same things that you do.  Maybe your area does not have a lot of reception options that will work in her budget.  Maybe she thinks you are a fashion maven and she thinks she needs help.  Maybe she is not good with words and yours worked for her.  Maybe she has been "dreaming" of the same day that you have. Maybe it is a weird coincidence. No matter what her reason is, you need to lighten up!

    Just don't talk to her about your plans anymore. I know it gets exciting when you are planning, but you need to keep things to your immediate family and your FI.   If you don't tell her, then there is no issue.  Plus, her wedding is a year away.  Nobody will compare your wedding to hers.

    Here's a reality check for you.  Not every girl dreams about her wedding since she was three. That mentality of "it's my day and I have dreaming about it since I was three and it has to be PERFECT"  can easily lead to overpriced weddings, wrecked friendships, raging bridezillas and unhappy marriages.
    ROCK IS KING!!
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    baconsmombaconsmom member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    So - you think your wedding will be so amazing that 14 months later, people will still be talking about it? 

    No, really, take a minute, here. A year and two months. Will anyone remember anything except that you got married, and then she did? I doubt it. PP is right: just stop discussing it with her if it gives you so much agita.

    And this: "Here's a reality check for you.  Not every girl dreams about her wedding since she was three. That mentality of "it's my day and I have dreaming about it since I was three and it has to be PERFECT"  can easily lead to overpriced weddings, wrecked friendships, raging bridezillas and unhappy marriages."

    Possibly one of the best pieces of advice I've seen lately. 
    image
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    alyssalowealyssalowe member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Both of your weddings are a long way out, you and her will both change your mind a bunch in between now and then. I agree with both pp's strongly. I had the same reality check when my fsil changed her wedding stuff a complete 180 and copied a lot I had been talking about doing. As my brother says, I dont own those colors because I'm first. Even if your wedding is so amazing and people do remember it  the days she gets married, then yours being first will tell anyone that cares that she copied you. Plus, its probably not that she isnt creative and hasnt planned forever, maybe its just that your not creative and picked a general idea that tons of brides are doing.
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    pixiedust84pixiedust84 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_copy-cat-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:e9bd9b3b-05a4-4ea9-90d1-9b47aee3f37ePost:e3350d9e-7b3d-4bfe-8382-ab0d7fe32a96">Re: COPY CAT!!!! ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE] Here's a reality check for you.  Not every girl dreams about her wedding since she was three. That mentality of "it's my day and I have dreaming about it since I was three and it has to be PERFECT"  can easily lead to overpriced weddings, wrecked friendships, raging bridezillas and unhappy marriages.
    Posted by vsgal[/QUOTE]

    This is worth being said one more time. Read it. Absorb it.

    And really? You guys have wedding websites already? Your weddings are so far away! Just stop talking to her about your wedding if it bugs you so much. It's not rocket science.
    Photobucket
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    Sarbell585Sarbell585 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advice everyone, I'm chilled out now about the situation. I'm just not really going to tell her anymore about the details as they finalize. The reason I already have a wedding site up is because we have family from all over and its a good way for everyone to touch base, especially since the wedding is going to be 5 states away. Again, thanks for the advice.
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    ranger12ranger12 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow... some Brutal words out there!! 
    I would be upset too!!  You are doing the right thing, by not telling her anymore ideas you have for Your wedding!!!  Good Luck with everything :)
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    vsgalvsgal member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_copy-cat-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:e9bd9b3b-05a4-4ea9-90d1-9b47aee3f37ePost:d77eaa10-3983-4b8a-9c61-5da55ec46cdc">Re: COPY CAT!!!! ugh!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow... some Brutal words out there!!  I would be upset too!!  You are doing the right thing, by not telling her anymore ideas you have for Your wedding!!!  Good Luck with everything :)
    Posted by ranger12[/QUOTE]

    Where are we being brutal?  We are being honest.  We don't sugar coat things here.  There are other websites and family members for that.
    ROCK IS KING!!
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    pinkjgopinkjgo member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm pretty sure I'd be a little upset too, but honestly, it should be flattering. Just give it time, I'm sure things will change once she thinks about it more.

    I have a friend who wants to wear MY wedding dress for her wedding because she loves it so much. I was honored that she liked it that much and told her "absolutely, I'm sure you will look beautiful in it".
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    Sarbell585Sarbell585 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You're probably right pinkjgo!. :) She may change her mind as her wedding date creeps forward...who knows? 
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