DG, re: the divorce

nicoleg1982

Oh, the divorce.  Our hurdle is child support.  The State says H has to pay $X.  He can only reasonably afford half of $X.  Technically, I only NEED half of $X.  H says it is unfair for the state to say you must pay $X when you can't afford it.  I told him that the state doesn't give two flyingpigs what you can afford - the figure is based on what DD needs and is OWED.  He still doesn't agree.

What we need to do is sit down and go over each line item.  If he still opposes the form, I guess I'll move forward and file contested forms, vs. uncontested.  He'll have to hire an attorney, we'll have to attend mediation and a hearing and then he'll be out even more money.  Plus the state figure of $X every month.  Unless he is unemployed, on disability or some extreme circumstance arises, no judge will care that he cannot afford it.

I am hoping he will see the light.

**O-Face**

Would you keep all of $x or reimburse or just let it be?  I mean I'm hearing that you understand his plight, but that his attitude is what is the annoyance really.  *butts out*

nicoleg1982

HOnestly, since he kept ALL of our joint debts, I would be willing for the paperwork to say $X and only take half of $X at this time.  However, I do believe DD is owed all of $X at some point.

**O-Face**

I agree Nico, in due time of course.  She is owed that as a child of his.

DG1

Would it be better for you to take on some of that joint debt so he could more reasonably afford $X?

So far, it sounds like he is fully willing to give DD everything she needs, though I also see getting all of the paperwork in order in case he decides to be an ass later.

Ilumine

Why can't he afford X? While the calculators ARE geared towards the custodial parent (ie the one who has the children more), which is usually the mother, they aren't out to force the other parent out on the street.

*Barbie*

can you collect the 1/2 of X that he cannot currently afford at a later date? defer it until she is say, 5, and then start collecting x+ back portion of x? even if you don't *need* it now, it's money that you could invest for her in a college fund. (and lost interest, for that matter)

nicoleg1982

Child support worksheets are designed to support the child - no matter how much money a parent makes, it costs $A to support that child a month.  Yes, the worksheet does break it down in terms of our incomes and our time sharing plan.  In our case, I owe 20% of $A and H will owe 80% of $A ($X).  

And while I "could" take on the debt, it's in his name, so it's still his responsibility to pay it.  Plus, it's for home improvements to a home (1) I do not own and (2) is not my residence.  Even if I were pay the bill, letting him pay a reduced amount of child support is the same thing.