welp

XxmcuhlovejennxX

thanks

*Barbie*

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_well-this-awkward-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:f37b02d2-49e7-4559-9758-a2fea4d7efd7Post:36d7c18b-041c-46bf-8035-9d4e9ff12c84">well this is an awkward situation.</a>:
[QUOTE]so 2-3 years ago my FI proposed we de4cided this is our year to get married, heres the catch his brother popped the question the same year as us.... just a few months later as in like.... 5-6 months later, then another 3-4 months later his moms boyfriend proposed so theres 3 of us... all engaged. for like 2-3 years now,<strong> the problem, we were planning our wedding in secret. because honestly we wernt sure we were going to so we didnt tell anyone, then we decided to tell his mom and asked her NOT TO TELL the other son, well that lasted a whole week and now the other son knows and his FI ( my to be sister in law is mad at me, because i wont do weddingp lanning stuff with her. because now all of a sudden shes trying to plan her wedding</strong>... maybe im just ranting but I was hoping this would be our year, like i went to a bridal show yesterday. and she send me a facebook comment ON MY WALL  saying " and you didnt invite me because.,," it was only me my FI and my MOH that went... :( do i have a right to be mad?
Posted by XxmcuhlovejennxX[/QUOTE]

1) you weren't sure you were going to .... what?
2) you told his mom what?
3) not to tell his brother what? and why was he not told this mystery thing?
4) if they have been engaged for 2+ years, why is it unreasonable that they are planning their wedding now?

5) are you actually suggesting that nobody in the family is allowed to plan their wedding/get married before you plan your wedding and get married?

mrsconn23

All I have to say is that 'secret' wedding planning rarely ends well.

And from your post, it seems that no one knows if they're coming or going.

zsazsa-stl

So EVERYONE is engaged but no one is supposed to have a wedding?  WHAT?

ElleB87

I am so confused by the OP

HermosaHearts

Why would you plan a secret engagement & then get upset when your fam is going about things the right way? You should just hold off on a date until next year if having a year to yourself is so important. What you should not do is complain that people in your family are planning on going through with the normal flow of an engagement to wedding. Why did you two keep your engagement private? Is your family against him?

DG1

If you want a whole year where no one else gets married, you're going to be waiting a LONG time for this wedding. 

Which I'm not sure why you're having anyway, since you don't seem very confident about the relationship.

RailWayWife

What is the point of wedding planning being a secret?

XxmcuhlovejennxX

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_well-this-awkward-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:f37b02d2-49e7-4559-9758-a2fea4d7efd7Post:69333c76-d12d-4639-b419-33917f823a02">Re: well this is an awkward situation.</a>:
[QUOTE]All I have to say is that 'secret' wedding planning rarely ends well. And from your post, it seems that no one knows if they're coming or going.
Posted by mrs.conn23[/QUOTE]

Again I apoligize I was not done editing the post,
but thank you

XxmcuhlovejennxX

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_well-this-awkward-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:f37b02d2-49e7-4559-9758-a2fea4d7efd7Post:80f2fc1b-d6d0-49a2-af0c-105d0781df0c">Re: well this is an awkward situation.</a>:
[QUOTE]So EVERYONE is engaged but no one is supposed to have a wedding?  WHAT?
Posted by zsazsa-stl[/QUOTE]

Nooooo
they can I was not done editing the post I didnt expect it to go up yet,
they can get married, but I want to plan my wedding with my wedding party,,, and she can plan hers with her wedding party,

its really hard to explain

XxmcuhlovejennxX

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_well-this-awkward-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:f37b02d2-49e7-4559-9758-a2fea4d7efd7Post:c6f82346-6c05-44da-90ad-1596c7bffbb3">Re: well this is an awkward situation.</a>:
[QUOTE]I am so confused by the OP
Posted by ElleB87[/QUOTE]

so sorry, I wasn't done  editing it :(

XxmcuhlovejennxX

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_well-this-awkward-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:f37b02d2-49e7-4559-9758-a2fea4d7efd7Post:c5cffe3c-d9de-4b19-8b77-bbd6a87ba15d">Re: well this is an awkward situation.</a>:
[QUOTE]Why would you plan a secret engagement & then get upset when your fam is going about things the right way? You should just hold off on a date until next year if having a year to yourself is so important. What you should not do is complain that people in your family are planning on going through with the normal flow of an engagement to wedding. Why did you two keep your engagement private? Is your family against him?
Posted by HermosaHearts[/QUOTE]


we have been engaged for over 3 years , that was no surprise to anyone,   no my family loves him, hes perfect, it's the fact we were not sure if we were going to plan for this year or next,
again I'm not saying NO ONE CAN GET MARRIED THIS YEAR, im saying that i want to plan it with my bridesmaids/MOH/FI... my wedding party, and she could plan hers with hers? shes not in mine, so the fact she wants to come to these things makes me uncomfortable?

XxmcuhlovejennxX

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_well-this-awkward-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:f37b02d2-49e7-4559-9758-a2fea4d7efd7Post:c0eff74a-2aae-4790-aaca-973a56aa1a27">Re: well this is an awkward situation.</a>:
[QUOTE]If you want a whole year where no one else gets married, you're going to be waiting a LONG time for this wedding.  Which I'm not sure why you're having anyway, since you don't seem very confident about the relationship.
Posted by DG1[/QUOTE]

Oh my goodness I have no idea where you get that Idea... my Fiance and I have been together for almost 6 years, I love him to death, actually friday he was rushed to the hospital and almost went in a coma, I thought my life had ended..
he's ok now thank God :)
 I'm sorry I had not finished editing the thing, It was just a  bunch of words not yet making sense, actually they still dont make sense. ill edit it again later!

*Barbie*

your OP should read like this:

"FI and I have been engaged for several years. Due to health concerns, we have not yet picked a wedding date. We have decided to begin our initial planning, and are considering a date in 2012.

There are several other members of our families who are also engaged. However, we have not shared the details of the wedding planning because we are afraid they will "steal" our ideas or get "competitive"

We chose to tell MIL about our potential plans, but asked her to keep the information on the DL. MIL shared the info with fBIL and his FI, which pissed us off.

Now fBIL's FI is getting upset with me because I have not done any wedding planning activities with her. She recently posted a nasty message on my FB wall because i did not invite her to a wedding show with myself and my WP.

Am i being ridiculous in wanting to just share my time  planning the wedding with my FI and wedding party? Is it ok if i tell fBIL's FI that I do not want to plan with her? Is it ok to be annoyed with my MIL because she shared info that we asked her to keep under wraps?"

*Barbie*

now to answer my PP:

i think it's a bit ridiculous to be so secretive with your planning, but it's obviously your business if you want to keep things under wraps. You have a right to be annoyed with your MIL if you made it clear that you did not want her to share info, and she did anyways. However, you should be happy that you learned the lesson to not trust fMIL with a secret NOW when the news wasn't really all that important.

I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to plan with your fBIL's FI, but you need to make it clear to her that this is a time you want to share only with your WP and FI. Leave it at that. She'll likely get all butthurt, and may cause additional drama - but IMHO, a 38yo woman should know better than that. You may also want to be nice and throw her a bone. Would it really kill you to spend a few hours at a wedding show with her? you don't need to invite her to heverything, but for the sake of furture family harmony, this really shouldn't be a big deal.

mrsconn23

Thank you Barbie for decoding the Mad-Libs. 

Yes, I can see why you're upset.  Now you know NOT to tell MIL anything you don't want shared.

As far as FSIL, I think you should tell her *in person* that you did not appreciate her nastygram on your FB wall.  If you can have a reasonable conversation with her,  just tell her that you only planned on going to the wedding show with your FI and BP.