Advice Needed

ccostello03

I have a dilemma and I don't know where to start and what to do. I have a "best friend" who I've known since 4th grade (15+ years). I always imagined that she would be my maid of honor. In the past 2-3 years she has been very distant. I have gone 6 plus months without speaking to her on the phone and every time that I try to get together with her when I go back home she always has an excuse. She is also engaged and I had to find out about her engagement on facebook rather than her call me.  I haven't confronted her about how I feel. My problem is I don't know if I should and see how she responds. I don't want a big blow up before the wedding. If I don't confront her I don't know if I should invite her to the wedding or not. If I don't invite her I feel that it would be a slap in the face but if I do it might be awkward and be tense. Any advice?

baconsmom

You've only been out of 4th grade for 15 years?

Wait. You're not old enough to get married. 

baconsmom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:f5a4c7a3-ff2a-4b2c-ab61-7a8c525d931cPost:e9d73486-37b8-4c20-a2d1-9af6c0e01353">Advice Needed</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a dilemma and I don't know where to start and what to do. I have a "best friend" who I've known since 4th grade (15+ years). I always imagined that she would be my maid of honor. In the past 2-3 years she has been very distant. I have gone 6 plus months without speaking to her on the phone and every time that I try to get together with her when I go back home she always has an excuse. She is also engaged and I had to find out about her engagement on facebook rather than her call me.  I haven't confronted her about how I feel. My problem is I don't know if I should and see how she responds. I don't want a big blow up before the wedding. If I don't confront her I don't know if I should invite her to the wedding or not. If I don't invite her I feel that it would be a slap in the face but if I do it might be awkward and be tense. Any advice?
Posted by ccostello03[/QUOTE]
JIC

ccostello03

I'm pretty sure that I'm old enough being that I am 26!

SilverLining1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:f5a4c7a3-ff2a-4b2c-ab61-7a8c525d931cPost:e86898a3-1265-426a-816f-5dc1971e5a56">Re: Advice Needed</a>:
[QUOTE]You've only been out of 4th grade for 15 years? Wait. You're not old enough to get married. 
Posted by baconsmom[/QUOTE]

<div>Did you have anything constructive to say?</div><div>
</div><div>OP, I think that you would regret asking this friend to be your MOH. Weddings tend to put a lot of stress on people; they don't repair friendships. I would suggest asking someone that you are close to now, rather than holding on to someone that you are no longer close to. Friendships and people change and go through phases. For this reason, I would still extend an invitation to her. I doubt that you'll be hanging out with her so much at your wedding that it could be awkward or tense. If she would be uncomfortable, she'll decline the invitation.</div>

kmmssg

I would make this last attempt at figuring out the status of the friendship - send her a really nice friendship type of card.  NO wedding talk at all.  Tell her you miss her and you miss the friendship and want to get together soon to hang out (or whatever would work there for you).

The status of the friendship and asking her to be MOH are separate issues.  Figure out the friendship thing, and then decide who you should ask.  My gut hunch is that she might not be your best choice for MOH, but send her a card and call her to make sure everything is ok.  Remember, this part should have no wedding talk.  Good luck!

ccostello03

She is not the MOH. I've chosen someone else. I just don't know if I should invite her or not being that she hasn't been there for me in the past  several years.