I have always loved my in-laws, thought they were great and treated me well. They have treated me well, to my face.
They came up for a surprise visit last weekend. No biggy, yes it threw all our plans out the window, but they came for a funeral and then drove up to see us. So it's not like they just came up for no reason. I thought we had a nice visit and was really happy to see them. It was a little sad to see how far MIL1's dementia had progressed, but she had very long periods of clarity around the kids. MIL2 came with them and she is always a hoot to be around, especially since she got a Chinese Crested dog to dress up-and yes, she brought the poor thing with her. I was sincerely happy to see them even if it did disrupt our plans.
Yesterday hubby asked me to check his email for him. He does that a lot because he knows I'll delete all the junk he gets. Well his dad sent him one and I opened it at hubby's request. Hubs wanted to know if it was the medical stuff on his mom. It wasn't. Basically, it was when are you going to leave your worthless wife, how long is this phase going to last, you'll never own anything nice or own a house, etc, etc, etc.
I showed it to hubby and he confessed that his dad has been saying that since we got married. Hubby didn't tell me because he thinks his dad is full of poop (only not the word he used) and talking out his butt.
Yes, we are poor. We've been poor since we got married, we where poor before we got married and we will probably be poor for some years to come. Apparently, that's my fault. It has absolutely nothing to do any action or inaction on hubby's part (a point of contention early in our marriage, but we worked that out). If any one thing goes wrong; like the car breaking down, storm damage, and the tsunami in Japan it's my fault.
The only thing that I find consoling during this discovery is the fact that he feels the same way about all his poor relatives. It's not us, it's being poor that makes me and my SIL (his own blood) worthless. I can't count the times I've defended them to my family. Yes, they are a bit snobby, but it's just the way they where raised, they don't know it's seen as uppity, etc. What a waste of my breath. I'm just really, really hurt that after 7yrs of marriage I'm seen as nothing more than a "phase" in their son's life.
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I'm still stuck on why hubster didn't tell him 'go to hell' after the FIRST time he did it.