Avoiding glass clinking

thousandtrees

Okay, so I really, really hate that thing at weddings where people clink knives on glasses to make the couple kiss. I find the noise abraisive and the act itself somewhat obnoxious. I don't want to feel like I have to perform for our guests.

My FI is a really shy guy and we have both agreed that we'd like to avoid any glass clinking. I'm not looking for alternative noises/activities for people, but rather a polite way to get the message out that we'd really rather they didn't do that. Is there any polite way to do it? Or do we just have to suck it up and feel really uncomfortable?

adktd2boots

Ignore it. 

Or you could make some kind of thing that looks like a hand fan.  It could be plain and if you kiss once, shield your faces.  Or paint something on it like "No PDA" or "this is our only clinking kiss"  This idea is pretty stupid, but it would get the point across.

Most of the time it only works for a couple times anyway and people get over it.  If you eat before everyone else does, then make your way around to greet people, I doubt any of it will even happen.

jessicabessica

This didn't happen at our wedding, or at least if people tried to do it, we didn't hear.  Like adktd said, we went to the buffet first, ate before everyone else, and then were going around greeting people while they were eating.  We also weren't sitting on display at all (head table or sweetheart table)--we sat at a regular round table with our siblings--which may have helped avoid it, too.

I don't think you should worry about this, though.  If people do it, I would just give a quick peck, and then hopefully that will send the message that you're not into it. 

adktd2boots

Or you could kiss like that poor couple on "Virgin Diaries".  Ever since FI and I watched that, he thinks it's totally hilarious to try to "eat/chew" my face

Maggie0829

When the day of your wedding arrives, the clinking of glasses will be the last thing on your mind or even give two sh$ts about.  Just give your H a peck and move on!

tenofcups4me

People in my crowd don't do this, but people in the ex's crowd do. The first time someone clinked we ignored it. I don't remember hearing it again.

We kissed many times on our wedding day, but I certainly wasn't going to do it at someone else's demand. And I wasn't going to encourage the clinking, even though we were happy to kiss throughout the day.

LittleMissCutiePie

My cousin's MC did this really funny thing. He had a pair of those ear protectors that construction workers used. When the first glass clink started, he put the ear protectors on and said "get out of your system now!", and when that was over, there wasn't another glass clink throughout the whole night.

bsn1752

I had never heard of this before joining TK!

My suggestion - have your DJ annouce at the beginning of the night that you will have one kiss but won't be acknowledging the glass clinking for the evening (I mean, have them say it nicely... and DJ'ish), but that should cut back a lot.

Simply Fated

Ugh I think it's so annoying! The sound is awful and it's a little creepy that people want to see you kiss so much. The best, that know of, is to ignore the sound and hopefully theyll get the hint.

jennipea382

I get really annoyed with the clinking too! It's not even about kissing for me, it's that some people do it like every 5 minutes while you're eating and it gets old fast!

I've seen some alternatives to the clinking. I've been to a couple weddings where guests had to come up and sing a love song to get them to kiss. I also really liked what another friend did. She has a jar of Hershey's Kisses and Hugs up at the DJ booth. If the person pulled out a Kiss, the couple would kiss. If they pulled out a Hug, the person had to find someone to hug. I thought it was kind of cute.

But looking at the bigger picture, it's only for a short time. They'll only be clinking from the time you sit down until they get bored or until you're done eating and move on to doing something else.

ETA: Just reread that you weren't looking for alternatives.. sorry! But maybe something else will discourage it. The singing thing would definitely discourage me from doing it because I don't like to sing in front of people.

Word of mouth will probably be your best bet. Maybe just have someone (BMs, family) mention that you'd prefer no clinking. I wouldn't make an announcement or anything though. Word of mouth might cut back on some of it but it's no guarantee!

TiffannieF

We only had the clinking once during our reception.  We rolled our eyes and got a smooch.  DH and I are not PDA type of couple but we just got married who cares if we shared a 2 second kiss real quick. 

I don't think you will be able to avoid it, making an announcement will sound a little rude and kind of like you guys don't want to kiss.  So I would either cave into it and if its getting out of control just ignore it.  Also let DJ that this is not something you want that way he does not encourage it. 

Amandarose531

I've never heard of this in my life, learn something new every day.

I'd just ignore it

staceycaine

I had the same thoughts. I've been to weddings where it happened 20-30 times. OVER and OVER. A few times is cute, after that it's annoying. After that, I plan on giving FI a high-five or a smack on the back. Hopefully that will get the message across that "yeah, we're done here."

melntaitt

Did not think of that but thanks for bringing it up! We're not going to encourage that at all; and we certainly won't provide tiny little encouragements like bells, etc.

I'm sure there's a market out there for it, but it isn't for everyone. Good luck!

NOLAbridealmost

I hate that tradition too and I don't blame you.

If you don't have a head table that's probably a good start; if you're not on easy display for all to see, no one will care if you kiss because they can't see you. 

I usually don't like kitschy things or "requests" dressed up in cute ways, but I kind of like the "This is our only clinking kiss" fan idea. It's like saying "we're being good sports this once; but don't get crazy."  

Or you could blame the venue.  Tell the DJ that if the clinking gets out of control that he should say something about the venue having a policy against the clinking to avoid broken glass.

ElisabethJoanne

I rather like blaming the venue.

Where I've seen it happen, and the bride and groom don't like it, they just peck and they display their dislike on their faces. Very few people are silly enough to do this just for a peck (They want to see a big smooch) and cruel enough to do it if it obviously displeases the bride and groom. So that'd be my advice. In this one area, you can roll your eyes at your guests on your wedding day.

chattychiqa

Is an Eskimo kiss out of the question? :-)

StephBeanWed61502

I know a couple who threw Hershey's kisses at their guests instead of kissing when the glass clinking started.  It was a cute way to make it clear that they just weren't into it, and the glass clinking stopped pretty quickly.

MrsKathyC

As a guest, I always thought "what a bother for the bride & groom".   As a bride, I loved it!!!!

jennipea382

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_avoiding-glass-clinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:02bd5c4e-a66d-4e10-a314-60aaf93101cePost:c320aabe-ad0c-4d6f-baf2-39722b85379d">Re: Avoiding glass clinking</a>:
[QUOTE]I had the same thoughts. I've been to weddings where it happened 20-30 times. OVER and OVER. A few times is cute, after that it's annoying. After that, I plan on giving FI a high-five or a smack on the back. Hopefully that will get the message across that "yeah, we're done here."
Posted by staceycaine[/QUOTE]

Haha, I do like this idea. I think I've seen people do this at weddings too. If you don't make a big scene out of the kiss, people tend to get bored or get the hint. I think a high five or something would send the message to stop the clinking :-)

Patgd

It's been several years since I've been at a wedding where the glass clinking has even been mentioned.  All of the brides for those weddings simply developed a kissing game that the guests had to follow so the clinking never became an issue.  Most of them were questions about the couple which a guest had to come up to the MC to initiate but there's one that I've found that I absolutely love. 

Pick a charity that is important to you, put a donation can by the head table. Your guests will have to pay if they want to see you kiss. For example, every $1 given to charity you will kiss for 1 second.

We have several family members who will be attending "in spirit" because we have lost them to cancer - including my mother - so our charity is going to be cancer related.  Here is a link to a bunch of kissing games - it may not avoid the kissing part but it will avoid the glass clinking.

http://www.musicmandj.ca/wedding-kissing-games.html