Do you think I have to use them?

[Deleted User]

FMIL sent us champagne glasses as an engagement gift. They are waterford crystal and very heavy (and expensive!)- I think her intention was that we use them for the wedding...but I would just prefer to use what the venue provides.. (less chance of breaking the nice ones, one less thing to lug back and forth) etc etc... is it common to bring your own fancy champagne glasses to your wedding or do most people just use what the venue provides?

Milsey32

Many couples I know had fancy ones for the B&G but personally, I don't see what's wrong with using what the venue provides. Ask FI to talk to his mom about it and see if she wouldn't mind if you didn't use them for the actual wedding

Blueyed228

We brought our own.  They were a gift from my Aunt and engraved with our name and wedding date.

If you think she will be upset by you not using them, would you consider it?  TBH, no one noticed ours and my Aunt was happy that we used them.

If you dont want to, then dont.

jessicabessica

I agree that you should have your FI talk to his mom (or you can, if you feel comfortable) and let her know that you love her gift, but you are worried about breaking them or losing them if you use them at the reception.  You can tell her that you look forward to using them on each anniversary, so she knows you really do appreciate them. 

I was actually wondering about cake cutting sets--we got one from one of our guests as an engagement gift, but we aren't having a formal wedding cake or cakecutting.  I assume they got it for us to use at the wedding, right?

Blueyed228

Jessica- Some venues dont have a cake cutting set and will just give you a big knife.  You may want to ask your venue if you are not planning on bringing your own.

aegrish

If I was your FMIL, I think I'd be touched that you were that concerend about breaking them.  Not saying she'll feel that way but maybe you can use them privately before or after your honeymoon and let her know you will still treasure them.

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_think-use?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:0b4cf8f9-9f0b-4e84-98f5-02cffb8ad38ePost:204053d9-dd82-4c69-baa7-9f199a32c1ea">Re: Do you think I have to use them?</a>:
[QUOTE]Jessica- Some venues dont have a cake cutting set and will just give you a big knife.  You may want to ask your venue if you are not planning on bringing your own.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the heads up.  We're not having a wedding cake, though, so I don't think we really need a set at all for the reception.  We will have some cakes on our dessert table, so maybe I'll talk it over with the FI (he's the traditional one) and our venue and see if we want to do a mini cake cutting or something. 

[Deleted User]

Our venue did not provide them, or at least they didn't tell us. The IL's got us the toasting flute set we wanted the Christmas before we were married. They had them engraved with our names and wedding date.

It also included the cake knife and server thingy.

I think it would be fine to use the ones the venue provides. Just explain that to your future IL's. You can always use those for anniversaries and special occasions.

Wiscisbliss

We used our water glasses at the venue.  Many people do bring in their own fancy toasting flutes. 

mbcdefg

I would use them to make FMIL happy.

hlq2011

FSIL used toasting flutes given by FMIL at her wedding, and the venue came and took them away as soon as the toasts were done, to limit the chance of breaking them.  Talk to your venue and see if they can be safeguarded somehow.

But if your FMIL is a reasonable person, she'd probably understand your worry about breaking them.

tenofcups4me

I have no idea what other people do at their weddings since I've never once looked at anyone else's champagne glasses or cake cutting utensiles. But I did not bring anything to my venue -- they had everything there and the last thing I wanted to do was schlep crystal and cutlery to my wedding reception. I don't get it at all.

That said, since she already bought them and gave them to you, I agree that FH should try to suss out what her intent was and if she intended them for the reception, I guess I'd bring them even though I think it's a silly PITA.

LuluP82

My MIL got us some of those too, after I explicitly told her I didn't want them. She was really adamant about it, to the point where she brought them to the wedding herself and gave them to the coordinator! So we used hers. I'm guessing in her circles it's really popular?

Nothing happened to ours. We used them at dinner and then the coordinator took them away (it was especially tricky since we didn't do a formal toast, really...and our venue was sort of all over the place). We did misplace the fancy box, but then H (who cared more than me, I was more annoyed that MIL came into my suite while I was getting my hair done to talk to me for the 100th time about stupid flutes) called Waterford and they sent us a new fancy box. So I guess we'll use them on our anniversary or something.

We also got a cake cutting set, but we didn't use it...The giver sent it to our apartment but it didn't get there until the week of, when we didn' thave time to actually open presents. SInce we cut the cake with H's sword, I'm assuming they're not offended we didn't use it. I haven't used it yet, but I'm sure I will when we host a nice dinner party or something with pie or cake for dessert.

loopla

This is a good question! I also got glasses as a gift once we got engaged... they're cute, I didn't think to use them for the wedding. I think I'll bring them for us to use!

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_think-use?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:0b4cf8f9-9f0b-4e84-98f5-02cffb8ad38ePost:70755921-9baf-4982-a01d-a1c5829f433a">Re: Do you think I have to use them?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have no idea what other people do at their weddings since I've never once looked at anyone else's champagne glasses or cake cutting utensiles. But I did not bring anything to my venue -- they had everything there and <strong><u>the last thing I wanted to do was schlep crystal and cutlery to my wedding reception.</u></strong> I don't get it at all. That said, since she already bought them and gave them to you, I agree that FH should try to suss out what her intent was and if she intended them for the reception, I guess I'd bring them even though I think it's a silly PITA.
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

Typically you bring it a few days before hand when you bring your other decorations.  They packaged ours up along with our card box etc.  They told us we could our stuff that night, or come back after the honeymoon.

kristinanddan

We brought our own (we brought our own cake cutting set too). We already had so many boxes of stuff going to the reception venue, that a few more items were no big deal. 

steffenfam

If it were me, I would use them.  They are very expensive and a quite generous gift, definitely "special occasion", and I'll bet she got them specifically for you to use at your reception.  I think not using them would cause hurt feelings (even if she may not show it).

tenofcups4me

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_think-use?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:0b4cf8f9-9f0b-4e84-98f5-02cffb8ad38ePost:0d67ca22-d790-4ef8-aab2-cbcd21635d2c">Re: Do you think I have to use them?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you think I have to use them? : Typically you bring it a few days before hand when you bring your other decorations.  They packaged ours up along with our card box etc.  They told us we could our stuff that night, or come back after the honeymoon.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I do get that :-)  I still just think it's incredibly silly. Why not also bring your own knife and fork? Or plate? What makes glasses and a cake cutter so special that you need or want to bring your own?

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_think-use?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:0b4cf8f9-9f0b-4e84-98f5-02cffb8ad38ePost:18a554e3-b35c-4c1f-9260-586be68a3e13">Re: Do you think I have to use them?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you think I have to use them? : Yeah, I do get that :-)  I still just think it's incredibly silly. Why not also bring your own knife and fork? Or plate? What makes glasses and a cake cutter so special that you need or want to bring your own?
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

Mine were family heirlooms.  That is what made them special.

To each his own i guess.

sklink0486

I agree totally with steffenfam. It was a gift, and I bet it was for the reception, so even if she doesn't say it, it probably means a lot to her for you to use them. If they break, oh well, at least you were attempting to use her special gift. If you give "I don't want them to break" as an excuse, she's going to think her money went towards nothing and you guys might always be scared that they might break and not use them at all.

I don't know what your living style is and family is like, but one of the most treasured things my mom has from my parent's wedding are the toasting flutes that they USED that day. She keeps them in a small china cabinet.  

SuMmErKuTiE

We used the toasting flutes and knife server set that were gifted to us from our registry that also go with our fine china set. The champagne flutes have Mr. &  Mrs. on them and so did the knife server set. They're special to us now because they were gifted to us for our wedding and we used them at our wedding. We now use the knife server set whenever serving cake, pie, etc.. and we'll use the toasting flutes to toast to our anniversary in June.

OP: I think it would be nice for you to use the gifted set on your wedding day. This way they'll have even more special meaning to the two of you and it'll really touch your FMIL who gave them to you as a gift probably with the intentions that you'd use them at your wedding. It honestly was no big deal to transport them back and forth to our venue. We just kept them in they're original packaging and dropped them off with the rest of our stuff and the staff were good about repackaging them up for us to send back home.

foreverurz23

We have our own we plan on using at the venue