cake and drinks?

bride2be2823

My mother just found out she has stage 4 lung cancer. So my fiance and I are moving the wedding up to a couple months. Do you think it would be rude to just hace the guest go into the Church "dining area" for cake/cupcakes and juices/soda/water? It is really all we can afford, as we are pregnant and will have to spend our money for the baby. Oh and how would I inform people they do not need to bring a gift or give us money? We are going to be haveing our babyshower the next month and I would rather our guest get the baby something nice. PLEASE HELP!

mbcdefg

Yes, cake and drinks is just fine. Write something like, "Cake and punch reception to follow" on your invitations. Not rude at all. It *would* be rude to mention gifts, however. Even if you're requesting for people not to bring you anything. Just don't register for anything ... or register for stuff you can always use, like towels and neutral bedsheets, because some people will always insist on getting you something. And quietly tell your parents and bridesmaids that, if people ask what you want, they can reply, "You attending their wedding is all they really want. They're just happy that you can celebrate with them." Word of mouth is really the only polite way to do it. And yeah, it's also rude to request baby gifts in lieu of wedding gifts. Just don't mention gifts, period. Your parents/BMs could say something like, "There's really nothing that X and Y need - they're just concentrating on getting ready for their new baby" and hope that guests get the hint.

ffmaid

A Cake and punch reception as long as not a meal time is a lovely traditional wonderful thing You never ever mention gifts people are never obligated and you can not diorect their spending. Also most liekly they want to get you something for your wedding and for the baby. they are not the same.

danieliza1127

Cake and drinks is just fine for an afternoon reception right after the ceremony.  Just be sure to put "Cake and punch Reception" or something on the invitation.As far as gifts, you really shouldn't mention them at all.  If you don't want anything, just don't register.  People will bring you gifts even if you say you don't want them, so just go with the flow.  If anyone asks where you're registered, you can just let them know verbally that you didn't register and that their presence is your present.

kmmssg

Ditto everyone else - cake and drinks are fine, and don't schedule this for a meal time.  Perfectly lovely. Not a peep of any kind about the gifts.  If people love you/think enough of you to get you a gift, you are blessed and should accept it.  Your heart is in the right place, but not a peep! Also - I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's diagnosis.  I wish you all the best.

trix1223

Cake and punch receptions can be beautiful.  Check out stage manager.  She had a wonderful cake and punch reception at her church.  By all means, go ahead and do that.  As pp's said, you just note on your invites "Cake and punch reception to follow in the church fellowship hall".You can't really mention gifts.  Accept gifts that people give for you graciously.  I understand your idea about your l'il one, but you'll find that having some lovely new things for yourselves will be welcomed as well.Best wishes with your new baby, and my prayers for your dear mom.

bride2be2823

Thank you ladies so much!

kmmssg

Good advice on the registry Retread.  I have a coworker who got 19 frames for wedding gifts!

mbcdefg

It is not necessary to put "cake and punch reception" on an invitation. It is the TIME of the wedding that determines what should be served. Hold the wedding and reception during an off-meal hour (such as 2-4) and a meal is not necessary. The guests will also know not to expect it.I'm not disagreeing with you, Retread, that the time of the party determines what refreshments are served. But as a guest, I'd personally appreciate knowing ahead of time that there would be only cake and punch served. That way, if I haven't eaten yet, I know to eat a sandwich or something beforehand or to prepare to get some dinner afterward. But I also come from an area/social circle where there's usually a meal or heavy appetizers no matter what time of day the party is. So it may also depend on the OP's personal circle of friends. There's nothing wrong with just serving cake and punch, but from personal experience I personally wouldn't go to a party expecting that, and might run into a problem if I was hungry and expecting something heavier. I'd rather know beforehand.

ffmaid

I've always seen it worded "light refreshments "in real life not cake and punch as an elegant way to say cake and punch. ( well in my mind that implies cake,punch, coffee, and veggie tray)Please join us for light refreshments immediatly following the cermoney at Something Hall