Seating Chart vs. Open Seating??

jvandamme

My fiance and I are in a bit of a friendly debate. He wants to have open seating and let guests sit wherever they want to- with the exception of having a few tables reserved for immediate family. I've heard that it's best to at least assign people to tables so that things run more organized and timely.What do you guys think? Are there any of you married ladies here that have experiences with either? We'll have around 150 guests with an evening ballroom reception (semi formal). What are all of your thoughts??Thanks!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I like open seating, BUT it sometimes makes for awkward instances with a few people scrabbling to find a table and ending up sitting with people they don't know. So if you want to seat people together who know each other, do that.

lyndausvi

I've only been to weddings with assigned tables (not so much seats).  It keeps the old guests from the speakers or clear across the room far from bathrooms, the drinkers close to the bar, the smokers closer to the door for a quick get away to smoke, families do not get split up and the random guests have comfortable homes. Other reasons include we had guest with special dinners and it was easier to tell them correct table. We had to buy everything like table, chairs, tablescloths, etc.  We did not want to spend the extra money for extra seating.Some might argue that it keeps people stuck to their seat and guests do not mingle.  That is not case in my group.  After dinner, people are always walking around socializing, at the bar or the dance floor.It did not take long for me to do the chart.   

gailpete

Seating charts at weddingd tend to work much better.   That way you can fill each table up, make sure that your guests are sitting with people they know and like, and make sure Great Aunt Sophie doesn't end up next to the speakers with your FIs frat brothers.Also, with open seating you are likely to end up with chairs being pulled over to other tables since the 4 people want to seat together, but there are only 2 seats left at the table.  Conversely, you may end up with a couple of guests sitting by themselves, since they don't really know anyone else and are shy.Lastly, I think the seating chart or place cards gives a much more formal feel than the casual open seating method.

KathyandDave

I personally dislike not having a seating chart. It's always awkward wandering around trying to find somewhere to sit if you don't know many people...

trix1223

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laurening

Yes to assigned tables for all the reasons already stated. IMO, open seating works fine for cocktail/hors d'oeuvres type receptions, casual backyard BBQ style or with small weddings where everyone definitely knows each other.  But in general, if you're doing a sit down dinner, whether buffet or plated, I think most guests appreciate assigned seating.

ExpatPumpkin

Yes to assigned tables, but you don't have to go so far as to assign seats at the tables... I've only been to two weddings without assigned tables/seats and they were both disappointing. At one wedding people made a mad dash to the "good tables." At the other friends moved chairs around and left people who didn't know other guests sitting on their own. You may or may not have these problems with open seating. But why would you take the chance? It's a courtesy to your guests to see to their comfortable seating, IMO.

Lasairiona

I have never seen assigned seating of any kind in person. But I have been to countless events, wedding and otherwise, that only had open seating and it is mass chaos everytime. People automatically get split up from their group unless they are the first ones to get to the reception venue. Other people save seats for their friends/family who don't even sit with them and then they don't give up those seats at all even if some people have to stand.

ffmaid

I have only seen open seating a couple times and each time it was a disaster. I strongly prefer a table assignments with bride and groom thinking strongly about who would want to sit with whom. Also this saves you money as you do not need tp pay for extra tables, ceterpeices, linnes ect as you need at least 10% overage if doing open seating.

lyndausvi

BTW - I think people have had issues with open seating have never been to wedding with one before.  For example DH and I hang out to the last minute before we sit down for dinner. There is no need to sit earlier because we know we have a seat with our family/friends.   It would not occur to us to find seats before hand, so more than likely we would be the ones who had to split up from friends.  If you are use to open seating then you mostly walk in a mark your territory first.  If your group is use to assigned tables, then do a seating chart.  If they are use to open seating do that.  If it's mixed, then I would lean towards assigned tables.

lady_elle

I did assign people to tables because only a few groups of people knew each other, and not all could sit at one table. So, in order to avoid making our guests feel uncomfortable in trying to secure a seat, we just gave the table assignments. I won't lie, it's hard to figure out who will make a good match at a table, but I wouldn't want to try to fend for myself at a wedding, it seems stressful for the guests.

beatsbroken

I've been to over 20 weddings now (I come from a BIG family)...a few have been open seating and it was horrible! Here were my issues: It's awkward. Especially at bigger weddings where not everyone knows each other. I went to a cousins wedding who had about 250 guests and it took everyone so long to figure out seating! And I know a few people were a little miffed (my mom included) because she was socializing before and didn't realize it was open seating so she was stuck at some corner table with people who were much younger than her and had nothing in common with..so it was awkward for her and not as fun as it should have been. Another wedding I went to was soooo chaotic. My cousin had a lot of her friends at her wedding (all about early 20's) and when their table was full, they dragged chairs from other tables so they could all sit together. Not only did it make the reception room look messy, but it messed up her table settings that she had put a lot of $$, thought, and time into. If seats had been assigned, they could have been split among two tables evenly so no one would have felt left out. My last big issue - people are more likely to sit with only the people they know. I think it's better to do assigned seating where you can seat people together with common interests (and basically play match maker for your single friends!). This way some of your family who don't know your Fi's family as well can talk and you wont have any awkward situations where a bunch of 20 year olds are at a table with 50 year olds (like what happened to my mom). I dunno...I definetely hate open seating...whenever I have been to a wedding and seen it was open seating I've always groaned a little bit to myself. Especially if your wedding is more formal, I think its more appropriate to have assigned tables. However, this is your wedding, so do what you want! lol.

jvandamme

I appreciate all of the responses. My only concern with assigning tables (which is what I want to do if I can talk the fiance into it) is what about the guests who come, but don't RSVP. In my bunch there's bound to be a few! Do I have an extra table? (I'm not worried about extra money.... the only part of the table that will cost me more is the centerpiece). I guess that's my concern with assigned tables is what to do with the people who come without RSVPing??

Lasairiona

If someone attends without sending an rsvp, that is rude. No ifs, ands or buts. Which is why when you are tallying the rsvps, you need to get in touch with anyone who hasn't responded to find out if they are actually attending or not. If they still don't say anything, take it as a no and it's on them to look bad if show up out of the blue since you did everything in your power up to that point to accommodate them. Do your table assignments as though they said no and leave it at that.

ffmaid

Well If someone RSVPs no and comes then they are beyond rude If someone fails to RSVP either way you call them up and say" I'm sorry but my mailman is so unrelable we have not recieved your RSVP are you coming?......Yes oh wonderful we look forward to seeing you OR No well that is a shame we will miss you and hopefully can get together soon "