Inviting only one child?

glam70s

My sister is due to have a baby in January. My niece will be a year old at the wedding.Is it okay to invite my neice, but not invite any other children? This is my first and only niece, and the only child that I am close to. The other children would be 2nd cousins and a friend's baby.

aerinpegadrak

I think infants tend to be the exception to the no kids rule, since they're usually still dependent on Mom.  We're not inviting any children, but my MOH and my sister will have the option of bringing their daughters, who will be nine and five months old, respectively.  (At this point, it looks like MOH won't and sis will.)  Babies are usually just fine at weddings.  They usually sleep through the whole thing, and don't require meals, seats, or favors.  It's usually no inconvenience to the bride and a HUGE help to the mom if the babies are invited.If I were you, I'd give both your sister and the friend the option of bringing their babies.  I don't think that obligates you to invite any other children.

lyndausvi

Yep (assuming your FI does not have any nieces or nephews)..  That is what  I did and it was a non-issue (it's pretty standard in my circle anyway)

Leah&Christian09

Infants are the exception to the adults only rule anyway, because of nursing mothers and all the issues with leaving babies with a sitter.  It's fine to invite just her since she is your niece.

megk8oz

Ditto having a clear-cut definition on which kids are and aren't allowed. If FI has any neices or nephews and you only invite YOUR neice, that's not really fair. For my wedding the only children attending are: my 9 year old brother my (will be) 1 year old neice FI's 8 year-old nephew FI's 12 year-old step-nephew my 12 year old cousin If I did not invite the cousin, he would have been the ONLY first cousin not invited (And that was NOT worth the fight with my grandma and aunt, IMO). Again, as long as there's a well defined cut-off point, you're fine.

megk8oz

Oh, yeah, I always forget: infants are a special case, and you SHOULD leave that up to the mother. But toddlers can be left with a sitter. It's not like you pay for an infant to be there anyway, and babies really do tend to sleep through things like that ... and if they start to cry during the ceremony, I'd like to think the parents would be courteous enough to remove them (We had to draw up a "crying" plan for my neice that day, one of my aunts is in charge of wheeling her out if she gets fussy).

banana468

It's perfectly fine to do that.  I'd hope that you're not excluding any children on FI's side.

Lasairiona

You can't pick and choose without offending people. Either invite all kids or none at all.

banana468

You can't pick and choose without offending people. Either invite all kids or none at all.I have to totally disagree.  There's no all or none group.  It's fine to invite the children close to you just like it's fine to invite the coworkers or friends that are close to you.I"d hope that guests would "get" that a niece or nephew of the bride is much different than the coworker of the bride's child. 

lyndausvi

ditto banana. All kids are not created equal.  Just like I'm can pick and choose adults I can pick and choose kids. That said, I do think it's need based on a certain group.  (ie: nieces/nephews, first cousin who are underage).  If you start picking some kids from a certain group and not others, that is when people might get offended.

glam70s

Thanks everyone.. There are no children on my FI's side (regardless of family or friends). My 2nd cousin and friend's child will be 3 and 4 years old, so I don't think a sitter is unreasonable, particularly since their potential sitters will not be at the wedding, but all potential sitters for my niece would be (family will be at the wedding and they're from thousands of kms away, so the 'usual' sitters are not an option).So there are really only the 3 kids to worry about (crossing my fingers - the wedding is still over a year away, so that could change), and my niece will be the only one I would still consider a baby..Thanks for the advice!

ames2833

I'm having a somewhat similar dilemma.....I have like 13 aunts and uncles on my dad's side alone, and 14 first cousins, (all of whom I want to invite, even though I haven't spoken to some of them in years). But my main issue is, a lot of those cousins also have children. However, pretty much the only ones I really know and am close to are the ones who live here in town.I would love to invite all of my cousins' kids, but if the budget becomes  too tight and I have to make a choice, I'm not sure what to do...should I invite all of my cousins' kids at the expense of inviting some friends, or should I only invite the kids I know really well and see often? Since I haven't even spoken to some of the first cousins in years, I'm not sure if they'll even be offended if their kids aren't invited, but you never know... I really don't want to draw the line and say "no kids at all", because the groom has several nieces and nephews that will definitely be there, and i would actually enjoy having kids at the wedding.

glam70s

I think that's a trickier situation. I think you kind of have to draw a line somewhere and stick to it. Like you could invite only nieces and nephews, and no cousins. I think if you invite any cousins, you would have to invite all of them. I know with my cousins (not children), I would love to invite a couple of them, but not the rest, but I don't think that would go well with the etiquette police. In the end I decided that there are a couple of cousins that I actively do NOT want there, so I may not wind up inviting any at all.