Alcohol etiquette..

felaney

We cannot afford to have an open bar, however, we do want to allow our bridal party to have drinks on the house all night. For our guests we wanted to offer a signature drink, a champagne spritzer, free all night though. Would it be rude to have one signature drink (and soda) available to guests all night and have an open bar for the bridal party? It would be discreet of course but I don't know the etiquette rules on that. TIA

mbcdefg

Yes, it would be rude. It's fine to serve limited alcohol, or no alcohol, but everyone should get the same treatment.

ootmother2

I wouldn't

bellebride116

I think it is rude. Everyone should get the same treatment at the reception.

aerinpegadrak

Yes, I think most of your guests would find that very rude.  Dry wedding is fine.  Limited bar of beer, wine, and maybe a signature drink is fine.  Just a signature drink, especially one that isn't very popular, is kind of iffy.  Just a signature drink for most of your guests, but full open bar for a select few, is basically a slap in the face of your guests, since they aren't special enough to have their drinks paid for.Sorry, but the refreshments you provide your guests are an all or nothing proposition.

I <3 Seabass

Bad idea. Plus aside from guests thinking it was rude, I could totally see guests that are friends with the WP bribing them to hook them up with a drink or two. And then you'd have some guests with drinks and some who can't get drinks and that could potentially be a bad situation on your hands. But, if you've already made up your mind and insist on doing it I would at least try to pick a drink that's more universally liked and not so "girly". A lot of people don't like champagne.

trix1223

Yes it would be rude to have a tiered bar system.  You really can't do that without insulting your other guests who are now suddenly less important than your WP.And ditto the pp about the champagne signature drink.  I know far more people who DON'T like champagne than who do.  I'd also rethink your signature drink.

janedoe1113a

I would definitely re-evaluate your signature drink.  And instead of offering full-bar for your bridal party, why don't you take that money and put it towards more options for your guests.

JaimeeP

Very rude!

felaney

That's pretty much the answer I expected, thanks! I've seen it done before and wasn't sure what the etiquette on that would be.

[Deleted User]

Yes it would be rude.

lyndausvi

Yes it is rude.  But what you can do is give them cash  to be used toward.  You are still paying, just in a different way.On a different note:  What is a champagne spritzer?

felaney

lyndausviI like that idea, thanks!A champagne spritzer is champagne that has been mixed with something to make it lighter like club soda, juice etc.

Lasairiona

Giving your attendants preferential treatment is rude. If you can't afford open bar, then you and your attendants have to drink what is offered to everyone else. Also keep in mind that *many* people do not like champagne of any kind so you may run out of non-alcoholic options very quickly.

crazy4u201

I don't think thats a good idea... forget about the bar and have wine bear and soda at every table.  I would have liquor in the limos (or whatever transportation you are giving to your BP) and also if you have a bridal sweet, maybe have liquor there where other guests wouldn't know.

felaney

The ceremony and reception are at the same location so transportation with the alcohol isn't an option, and it's a full service bar, not a bring your own but I might consider keeping alchohol in our bridal suite. Thanks everyone!

banana468

PLEASE don't keep a supply of alcohol in the bridal suite.  The guests will be onto the BP running back to get replenishment drinks.Just keep what you offer the same to everyone.  With more than six months to go, I think there are plenty of ways you can be creative so you're offering alcohol to everyone.  I was the date of a GM (he's my hubby now) who had free booze while I had to pay for my diet Coke.  I wasn't pleased at all.  The couple who did this are friends of ours and I don't think they realized how offensive they were being but I left feeling rather miffed at the action.

lyndausvi

 and it's a full service bar, not a bring your own but I might consider keeping alchohol in our bridal suite.::shakes head::Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.  The whole WP MIA from the reception to get alcohol.  Before you know it, they bring friends with them so they do not have to buy drinks either. If the WP did think it was rude to be gone from the reception too long they might try and bring in drinks from the suite.  I'm sure the venue would not like that very much.

dsouldiva

This would be right up with serving expensive champagne to the WP table whilst everyone else drinks cheap wine, there is no nice way around this DON'T DO IT!

squirrly

Bad, bad plan.  I went to a wedding recently that did this.  It ended up that the WP was in line at the bar all night getting drinks for everybody else, anyway.  Please, please, please don't do this.

AKatharine

Please do not bring alcohol into an establishment. I'm sure it is clearly a breach of contract. All alcoholic beverages in most circumstances need to be purchased from your venue, and not brought in from a third party. You could find you self with a large fine, fees from your venue, or potentially a law suit. You should treat all of your guest equally no matter if they are in the wedding party or not. Offer soda, wine, beer, liquor, whatever to everyone not just a select few.

lilcassers

if you are getting a limo, you could stash alcohol in there and enjoy some time with your bridal party before the reception and maybe have the limo stay there for the first couple of hours so they guys could go in and out of the limo to periodically have drinks... lol thats how my friends roll, I know, that is tacky too but who cares. It may make for a good laugh.

banana468

I know, that is tacky too but who cares.Umm.... the guests?  You know, those people you invited to celebrate with you?