"Bonvoyage Reception"??

jboom

I am having a destination wedding in Jamaica. We are on a slight budget being that we are paying for everything ourselves. We wanted to do a jack and jill bridal shower and reception all in one for those that could not attend Jamaica. Its a reception party to ship us off before we get married in Jamaica. I know our family and friends would love to be there but we definately want an intimate and memorable wedding in Jamaica, just what we want and planned. I do however plan on sending out our recorded ceremony and such as a thank you gift once we return. Any suggestions, ideas, or thoughts on this?

alithebride

you shouldn't have a reception for the wedding before you get married.
if you want to have one after, have one after, but not before and not combined iwth a shower. i have to question the copy of the reception as a 'thank you'. What about that is thanking the guests for their attendance to the shower and gift? i say send them a nice hand written sincere letter of thanks with a picture of you on your wedding day.
and bon voyage is 2 words

PharmacyBride

I think a party before you go is okay- doesn't have to be after.  I think there is more excitement involved with before the wedding than after.  The party should be just that.. a party- not reception or shower.  Those events imply you want/expect gifts.. which is inappropriate.

Say you want to celebrate with friends and family before you head off to Jamaica.  Make sure your motives are focused around spending time with guests not gift opening!

The proper etiquette is to only invite guests invited to the wedding to pre-wedding events.  There is a lot you have to give up with a DW, but it is the only appropriate thing to do.  You can't have a big gift grabbing shower with a small intimate wedding without offending people.

My suggestion for your party is to have it Jamaica themed.  We threw my sister a Hawaiian themed shower- since her HM is in Hawaii- and it turned out great!

trix1223

You can't really have a wedding "reception" until after you have a wedding.  So the idea of a Bon Voyage reception just doesn't work.

You make a choice when you choose to have a DW.  And there are consequences to the choices you make.  And grown-ups live with the consequences of their decisions.

You're having a small DW.  That means you don't get the pre-wedding parties, gifts, or big PPD reception.

Enjoy your wedding.  No one is forcing you to have "intimate and memorable".  It will be just what you want.

But skip all of the other ideas because they would be in very poor taste.

jboom

I understand where you're coming from, but we thought about the reception after Jamaica, but we wanted to end our ceremony/honeymoon in Jamaica. It will be only my fiance and I in Jamaica, that's why we wanted to include others into our special day but everyone is money tight. Maybe it shouldn't be a bon voyage reception, but a bon voyage party? I'm only having a bachlorette party with a few girls and thats it. That's why I thought a bon voyage party was a good idea before we left to Jamaica. I guess we aren't going along the traditional wedding scene.

trix1223

Sorry.  Still not a good idea.  Prewedding parties are for those who are invited to the wedding.  If there's only the two of you in Jamaica, then you forfeit prewedding parties.

For me:  sharing the day with family and friends would trump location.  I'd have the wedding with family and friends and honeymoon in Jamaica. 

Obviously, that doesn't for you.  And that's why different people have different weddings.  But the basic rules of appropriate etiquette don't change. 

I have to be honest:  I'd be giving a side eye to someone who invited me to a party to send them off to the wedding that I'm not invited to.  I'd also be declining the invitation.

deepcovejackie

Exactly what Trix said.  Were you going to host your own "jack and jill bridal shower and reception"?  If so, then that's REALLY gift grabby.  You don't host a shower in your own honour, and you don't invite folks that aren't invited to the wedding.  That's in bad taste, sorry. 

It's like saying "You're not invited to the wedding but as consolation you can come to the shower we're giving ourselves and get us a gift:".

skippylouwho

Isn't a Jack & Jill a fund-raiser?  So people would pay to come to this event? Possibly also bring you a gift?

deepcovejackie

A Jack and Jill is a fundraiser?  OP-please clarify, I don't want to assume anything...because now I'm thinking what I said above but people have to pay to attend?

jboom

Ok, so I changed my mind. Tough crowd eh? I like it, haha.. I guess I wanted to do everything in one shot, but who said a wedding was going to be easy? I'm so used to jack and jill parties so I thought it was a good idea. Well I am now doing a post wedding reception party to "celebrate our marriage". We were already told people cannot attend Jamaica, so therefore it will be our parents and siblings attending in Jamaica. I will be doing a bachlorette/bridal party for my girlfriends, DW in Jamaica, and a celebration of our marriage party when we arrive home. It will be a backyard tented bbq beach themed. Of course I am inviting everyone from prewedding activites to post wedding activites. I'm not leaving anyone out. I think the con of having a DW is that certain people will be offended regardless. I just have to figure out our invitation process and all that now. What do you think?