Poll - Opening gifts at the reception

Nindakay

So I'm thinking of opening gifts at our reception.  My family is all from out of town, and can't come to any of our showers.  Any thughts?  Or perhaps I should say - what are your thoughts?  Everyone here has very intense opinions.  

Personally...I'm thinking er...prolly not, but I have been at some weddigns where it is done.

Oh - we are not having a dinner or a dance.  Our reception will be a unity ceremony (sand) with a song, and for refreshments we are having fruit, cake and punch.  So very low-key.

Thanks friends!!

FutureMrsPaulG

I have never been to a wedding where this has been done.  I might think it was a little strange if I were a guest.  Plus, what if you get a bunch of guests that just give you cards with money in them?  It may be awkward to open them up and have others find out how much each person gave.  Not my cup of tea.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean about a unity/sand ceremony at your reception?  Wouldn't that be the ceremony part?  

Avion22

I don't like opening gifts in front of guests.  It seems like it would be long and tedious...and to be honest, nobody likes sitting around watching someone else open gifts.  It's tolerable in small-ish settings like a shower, but I can't imagine forcing myself to sit through more than about 10 gifts....

And honestly, unless this is really common in your family, I don't think anyone will expect you to open your gift in front of them.

Nindakay

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_poll-opening-gifts-at-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:19ad4c0f-6c06-4736-8dac-71592f8731abPost:26aebf77-ccc0-494c-afb4-f14a1d8deb81">Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I have never been to a wedding where this has been done.  I might think it was a little strange if I were a guest.  Plus, what if you get a bunch of guests that just give you cards with money in them?  It may be awkward to open them up and have others find out how much each person gave.  Not my cup of tea.<strong> I'm not sure I understand what you mean about a unity/sand ceremony at your reception?  Wouldn't that be the ceremony part?  </strong>
Posted by FutureMrsPaulG[/QUOTE]

<div>Esh!  I always forget something.  We are having a private ceremony and then a big reception.  So the sand ceremony will be at the reception.</div>

DramaGeek

I can't vote in your poll because there's no option for "absolutely not."  The reception is a party to thank your guests and I think it could be really awkward to open gifts in front of people.  A shower is totally different - the whole intent of the party is to bring gifts - but that's not the intent of a reception.

starryeyed77

So you are having a ceremony that they aren't invited to then inviting them all to bring you a gift and maybe watch you open it? With cake and fruit. No real food or alcohol or dancing? I'm sorry but this seems not very fun for your guests. It sounds like a shower and it sounds like you already have several of those. If you want your family to see you open gifts video tape it?

jessicabessica

Definitely do not open gifts at the reception.

1. Gifts are not required at weddings.  To the extent they are expected, they are thought to "attach" to the ceremony invite, anyway, so if you've only invited people to the reception, even more reason not to expect gifts.  

2. If a lot of people are from out of town, they may not be able to swing a big gift, or anything at all, given their travel expenses.  It would not be kind to them to open everything in front of them.

3. Many people ship gifts to the couple or bring a cash gift, so what will you open?  (Some people actually consider it rude to bring a boxed gift to a wedding rather than shipping it.)

4. It is boring for the guests.  Few people really care about seeing all your presents.  

AdeleDazeem

oh god, PLEASE don't open gifts at the reception.

I'd leave the reception.  This isn't a kid's birthday party.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_poll-opening-gifts-at-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:19ad4c0f-6c06-4736-8dac-71592f8731abPost:bc0f7f18-d051-4fc8-8c82-e7a616f5a692">Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Definitely do not open gifts at the reception. 1. Gifts are not required at weddings.  To the extent they are expected, they are thought to "attach" to the ceremony invite, anyway, so if you've only invited people to the reception, even more reason not to expect gifts.   2. If a lot of people are from out of town, they may not be able to swing a big gift, or anything at all, given their travel expenses.  It would not be kind to them to open everything in front of them. 3. Many people ship gifts to the couple or bring a cash gift, so what will you open?  (Some people actually consider it rude to bring a boxed gift to a wedding rather than shipping it.) 4. It is boring for the guests.  Few people really care about seeing all your presents.  
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

<div>All of this.  </div><div>
</div><div>Opening gifts at the reception comes off like you are trying to embarrass people that didn't get a gift or didn't get one yet.  </div><div>
</div><div>Big reception with no meal after a small ceremony after several showers sounds gift grabby anyway.  Having a gift opening would be the icing on the cake.</div>

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_poll-opening-gifts-at-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:19ad4c0f-6c06-4736-8dac-71592f8731abPost:71cad1ce-fe7a-441f-9850-6c332d86133a">Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception : All of this.   Opening gifts at the reception comes off like you are trying to embarrass people that didn't get a gift or didn't get one yet.   Big reception with no meal after a small ceremony after several showers sounds gift grabby anyway.  Having a gift opening would be the icing on the cake.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]
What she said.  Terrible, terrible idea.

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_poll-opening-gifts-at-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:19ad4c0f-6c06-4736-8dac-71592f8731abPost:bc0f7f18-d051-4fc8-8c82-e7a616f5a692">Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]2. If a lot of people are from out of town,
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]
If I was invited to travel to a cake and punch reception and not even to see the ceremony I would laugh my ass off.

alithebride

flat out no. watching people open presents is boring. dont take time away from the recpetion for that.

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_poll-opening-gifts-at-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:19ad4c0f-6c06-4736-8dac-71592f8731abPost:bc0f7f18-d051-4fc8-8c82-e7a616f5a692">Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Definitely do not open gifts at the reception. 1. Gifts are not required at weddings.  To the extent they are expected, they are thought to "attach" to the ceremony invite, anyway, so if you've only invited people to the reception, even more reason not to expect gifts.   2. If a lot of people are from out of town, they may not be able to swing a big gift, or anything at all, given their travel expenses.  It would not be kind to them to open everything in front of them. 3. Many people ship gifts to the couple or bring a cash gift, so what will you open?  (Some people actually consider it rude to bring a boxed gift to a wedding rather than shipping it.) 4. It is boring for the guests.  Few people really care about seeing all your presents.  
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]
Yep, all of this. I've NEVER seen this done and would be slightly offended if it was. Around here, you bring cash/checks to weddings. So, no fun in opening that before a crowd. Also, up until I graduated college in 2010, I wasn't in a great financial place & couldn't give much. I'd be really embarassed to know that I was the only one who gave the $40 check...KWIM.

sparent2010

I would prefer an absolutely no option. This is really not a good idea...at all.

MiksChick23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_poll-opening-gifts-at-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:19ad4c0f-6c06-4736-8dac-71592f8731abPost:f8cd4012-4730-4484-994f-5ca1a764178e">Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception : If I was invited to travel to a cake and punch reception and not even to see the ceremony I would laugh my ass off.
Posted by ceh789[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I would decline.

Don't open gifts at the reception.

MiksChick23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_poll-opening-gifts-at-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:19ad4c0f-6c06-4736-8dac-71592f8731abPost:406253af-0757-47e7-ad36-bd63014493da">Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception : Yep, all of this. I've NEVER seen this done and would be slightly offended if it was. Around here, you bring cash/checks to weddings. So, no fun in opening that before a crowd. Also, up until I graduated college in 2010, I wasn't in a great financial place & couldn't give much. I'd be really embarassed to know that I w<strong>as the only one who gave the $40 check.</strong>..KWIM.
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

What is the norm to give at weddings? Sheesh. When I was fresh out of college, I would have been pressed to give $40!

jemmini6

How private of a ceremony are we talking, and how big of a reception are we talking?  That doesn't change the fact that you should never open gifts during the reception, but I'm just curious.

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_poll-opening-gifts-at-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:19ad4c0f-6c06-4736-8dac-71592f8731abPost:42981b6d-18e5-49ac-878d-a6c3ce9ad73a">Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception : What is the norm to give at weddings? Sheesh. When I was fresh out of college, I would have been pressed to give $40!
Posted by MiksChick23[/QUOTE]
There really is no answer to that. The 'norm' depends on the area you live in, how close you are to the couple & your financial situation. I can give much more now, but that obviously depends on what's going on in my life the few months preceding the wedding & how close I am to them. 

Cortney1982

Um no.  So your only entertainment is you opening gifts?  Besides the fact that nobody cares,  letting everybody know who gave what is rude and has potential to embarass people.

HannahK15

If I got invited to wedding and didn't get to see the cermony and then only got fruit and stuff to eat I'd be pissed. I wouldn't even come much less bring a gift, cash, or card.

MiksChick23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_poll-opening-gifts-at-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:19ad4c0f-6c06-4736-8dac-71592f8731abPost:cc4b51a0-06cd-4a9e-8e64-c69b9074b725">Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception : There really is no answer to that. The 'norm' depends on the area you live in, how close you are to the couple & your financial situation. I can give much more now, but that obviously depends on what's going on in my life the few months preceding the wedding & how close I am to them. 
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

Very true. And again, true on your original post about embarassing people who feel they are advertising their situation by opening cards & gifts at the wedding.

Can you see it, bride opens card announces "$25 from Uncle Bob!!"

No, no, no.

MiksChick23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_poll-opening-gifts-at-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:19ad4c0f-6c06-4736-8dac-71592f8731abPost:99b0aae4-84db-4cfd-83d1-0c6c8367db8c">Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]How private of a ceremony are we talking, and how big of a reception are we talking?  That doesn't change the fact that you should never open gifts during the reception, but I'm just curious.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

Her ticker shows that she invited 255 guests....I'm assuming for cake since that would hardly qualify as intimate.

GoodLuckBear14

I would be taking my gift and walking right back out the door.  There are not words to describe just how horrible these ideas for your reception are.  I'm sorry that this is harsh but this many bad ideas cannot have a sugar coated response.

pgcp

NO!!!

As far as the cake and punch without the ceremony, if I was super local (less that 30 minute drive) I'd come.  Anything farther than that no way.

NOLAbridealmost

You need to add a "F*** NO!!!" option to your survey. 

No one, and I mean NO ONE, wants to watch someone open gifts at a wedding reception.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_poll-opening-gifts-at-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:19ad4c0f-6c06-4736-8dac-71592f8731abPost:0864c4c6-ba37-41d7-9b93-c4bccf92a4b7">Re: Poll - Opening gifts at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]You need to add a "F*** NO!!!" option to your survey.  No one, and I mean NO ONE, wants to watch someone open gifts at a wedding reception.
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

Nobody really likes watching other people open gifts at all unless it is a toddler who is learning what to do.  There's a reason alcohol is usually served at bridal showers.  Her guests won't even get that.

PattySmith101

lmao- these responses are great 255 OOT guests that aren't invited to the ceremony but are invited for cake/ punch, no food, booze or music ! and you want them t sit there while you open presents! NO NO NO

i know i would also be insulted if i was traveling for your wedding but didnt get to see you ceremony  than you opened the gift in front of everyone!

Viczaesar

Seriously?  Oy vey.

Kristin789

First of all, how would you do this?
Wedding gifts are delivered to the bride's home or the bride's family home before the wedding.  There are no gifts brought to the ceremony/reception.

So you are suggesting that four or five people with two trucks go to the house and load up all the gifts, and transport them to the reception venue, then unload them onto tables in front of the room, to be opened during the reception.  Then the team of four or five people would meet after the reception and load up the gifts into the trucks, and then drive the trucks to the house, and then unload all the gifts into the house.

That right there sounds incredibly stupid.

And even if you aren't considering how the gifts get TO the reception and BACK to the house, it's an awful idea to open the gifts AT the reception.

MrsGarrett87

That would be so boring to watch. I wouldn't stay.

HobokensFury

I vote no. PP have already covered it.