Put cash bar on reception card or just word of mouth?

jseguine38

I agree with your decision to spread it by word of mouth.

And for the record, we're providing beer and wine and having a cash bar available as well, and it does get irritating to see that people think it's just so rude to ask your guests to get drunk on their own dime. Wine and beer should be fine, but we have an awkward situation of the venue having a fully stocked bar staring everyone in the face but not enough funds to pay $8 a person for an open bar. We had the option to not offer a cash bar at all, but I felt it was rude to have it sitting in front of their faces and not allowing them to partake if they care enough to pay for it. We are, however, paying for any drinks the bridal party wants, up to two each. We felt that was fair to them.

I really don't think it's rude. If they don't want to pay, then they can enjoy beer and wine. If it means that much that they would talk about it behind my back, then I'd rather just not have them there. Open bars are not that common in my circle so I'm not worried about anyone thinking I'm rude. I'm pretty sure they will be happy that they are being provided with good food, cake, music, and dancing. And let's not forget the real meaning of the day, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with alcohol.

banana468

Why does open bar  = binge drinking?

stealthangel20

Lol, every wedding I have been to with open bar, that does mean binge drinking! A big reason we are not having one....My family is not that way, his is more so...but, I think they will be willing to pay for their drinks as well. Thanks everyone for the comments!!! 

banana468

This is one of those things I just don't get.

As a guest, I see an open bar as just the hosts doing their job.  It's not an excuse to binge drink anymore than the food offerings are an excuse to need new pants the next day.

But I get that not everyone shares that mentality/maturity.

ChristineM130

I hate to break it to you posters from Colorado, Connecticut, and other places where most people have high incomes and traditional family money values (which is wonderful, but here the average household income is $22,000 a year, alcoholism is rampant, and everyone I know has paid for their own wedding like me), but the etiquette of having a cash bar or open bar varies widely based upon where you live and what your crowd is like.

All but two weddings I've been to in my life have had cash bars, even ones from relatively high income couples! It's a downer if nothing else is served (nobody likes having to pay for every beer or soda), but liquor drinkers at every wedding I've been to appreciate them, if they don't like beer or wine. Out of two weddings without a cash bar, nearly all of one couple's guests complained all night behind their backs about not liking the drinks that were served, and at the other, everyone was really shocked that it had an open bar. Where I live, a cash bar is completely normal, and I have never been to a wedding where anyone complained about it or thought it was rude.

I have never seen it on an invitation or mentioned before hand. A cash bar is expected and an open bar is a pleasant surprise in my area.

I wouldn't put it on an invitation. If there's an ATM in the venue, I wouldn't worry at all. If you are in an area or social crowd where most of the weddings have cash bars, I wouldn't worry.

And if you are serving beer or wine, I wouldn't worry about it either. It's not like anyone's going to go thirsty if they don't bring money.

ChristineM130

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_put-cash-bar-on-reception-card-or-just-word-of-mouth?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:1f7ec700-d1f3-44a9-8e60-da72c0e0ad88Post:66187321-f91d-4b84-a8d2-760c661da2f3">Re: Put cash bar on reception card or just word of mouth?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why does open bar  = binge drinking?
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

Because alcoholism runs in families, and a lot of us have to worry about our whole families including grandparents getting wasted and trying to drive home if they can drink as much as they want for free.

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_put-cash-bar-on-reception-card-or-just-word-of-mouth?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:1f7ec700-d1f3-44a9-8e60-da72c0e0ad88Post:0679b264-c88a-4110-a55a-cbf4350de820">Re: Put cash bar on reception card or just word of mouth?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Put cash bar on reception card or just word of mouth? : Because alcoholism runs in families, and a lot of us have to worry about our whole families including grandparents getting wasted and trying to drive home if they can drink as much as they want for free.
Posted by ChristineM130[/QUOTE]

So those alcoholics are cheap?  Because the only difference between a cash bar and open one for an alcoholic is that the alcoholic needs to open his wallet.  Your logic only works if the alcoholic would never buy his own drinks.  And frankly, if that were the case then there wouldn't be tons of people drunk in bars.   So tell me again, how does an open bar equal binge drinking? 

Furthermore, the logic that open bars are only the norm if you can afford them does not hold.  Etiquette isn't about class or income.   It's about treating others well.  You are missing the entire point.

micls

Completely agree with Vegas on the etiquette point. I haven't been on these boards too long, but have noticed that some people seem to equate what is considered etiquette in their country or culture to a worldwide scenario. This simply isn't the case. I live in a country where a hosted bar is simply unheard of. It's not catered for (via packages etc) and people would be absolutely shocked to see an open bar. I so plan on hosting but only because my guests are travelling for a destination wedding.

Etiquette is about being polite, not being rude, and putting your guests at ease. What constitutes these things depends on your culture. I do think it is vital to take into acount the cultural make-up of your guests when making etiquette decisions.

OP, I also agree that word of mouth is the best option. If a cash bar is norm in your culture then surely they'll be aware of it anyway.

xyellowcardfan1x

I can't afford to have a open bar at my wedding, I have choose to use the money I do have to make my one wedding a dream come true. If I have to get you drunk to come to my wedding then I don't want you there anyway. People are more then willing to go to a bar and pay for drinks but expect it to be free when going to a wedding. I don't think it's rude to have a cash bar but if my family does then I don't want them at my wedding and definitely won't lose sleep over it.

MayDay513

OMG this thread is old. Let it RIP

QueerFemme

xyellowcardfan1x said:

I can't afford to have a open bar at my wedding, I have choose to use the money I do have to make my one wedding a dream come true. If I have to get you drunk to come to my wedding then I don't want you there anyway. People are more then willing to go to a bar and pay for drinks but expect it to be free when going to a wedding. I don't think it's rude to have a cash bar but if my family does then I don't want them at my wedding and definitely won't lose sleep over it.

This thread is over a year old.  And going to a bar isn't even a tiny bit like going to a hosted event. When you invite someone over for dinner, you don't say "I'm serving chicken, but if you want steak, leave a 20 dollar bill at the door".   When you host an event, you HOST it. A bar is a business, not a private function.  What you are doing is rude.

OMGitreallyhappened

I think people need to check there priorities. The reception is about celebrating you and your groom. You guys are starting your lives together and thank God you have enough common sense to know whats important. Everyones different and if alcohol is that important to you, you should have it at your own wedding. If its not, then don't.

At my wedding we have chosen not to have alcohol at all. Does that mean that as an adult, you cant make the choice to have a drink? No it does not. What it means is you pay for your own drinking habits. No confusion here. There is a bar available at the restaurant and if there happy asses cant have one dinner without alcohol, then I would first tell them to seek there local AA meeting then I would tell them to go walk there happy asses to the bar and go buy a freaking drink. I don't drink, my fiancé doesn't drink, our parents don't drink and most of our closest friends don't drink. i've read the BS where people say, " its rude because you wouldn't charge people for a drink at your house so you shouldn't make people pay for a drink at your wedding blah blah blah". I disagree, if you came to my house you would just be mad because we don't have alcohol at our house, nor will I go out of my way to buy some for a guest. Your habit, your problem. Work it out.

People are confusing tacky with reality. Here's the reality. Weddings cost a lot of money, life costs a lot of money and if you don't have a lot of money your gonna cut costs where its least important. Its life!!!! Get over it people.

We will be putting it on the reception card because people should know so that they can bring money with them if they choose. Also, if alcohol is a big deal, I think people should have the option to decline the invitation. I would prefer those who choose to talk trash to just decline the invite and make room for someone else who really wants to celebrate me and the groom for whats important. OUR WEDDING.!!!!!!!

Maggie0829

OMGitreallyhappened said:

I think people need to check there priorities. The reception is about celebrating you and your groom. You guys are starting your lives together and thank God you have enough common sense to know whats important. Everyones different and if alcohol is that important to you, you should have it at your own wedding. If its not, then don't. At my wedding we have chosen not to have alcohol at all. Does that mean that as an adult, you cant make the choice to have a drink? No it does not. What it means is you pay for your own drinking habits. No confusion here. There is a bar available at the restaurant and if there happy asses cant have one dinner without alcohol, then I would first tell them to seek there local AA meeting then I would tell them to go walk there happy asses to the bar and go buy a freaking drink. I don't drink, my fiancé doesn't drink, our parents don't drink and most of our closest friends don't drink. i've read the BS where people say, " its rude because you wouldn't charge people for a drink at your house so you shouldn't make people pay for a drink at your wedding blah blah blah". I disagree, if you came to my house you would just be mad because we don't have alcohol at our house, nor will I go out of my way to buy some for a guest. Your habit, your problem. Work it out. People are confusing tacky with reality. Here's the reality. Weddings cost a lot of money, life costs a lot of money and if you don't have a lot of money your gonna cut costs where its least important. Its life!!!! Get over it people. We will be putting it on the reception card because people should know so that they can bring money with them if they choose. Also, if alcohol is a big deal, I think people should have the option to decline the invitation. I would prefer those who choose to talk trash to just decline the invite and make room for someone else who really wants to celebrate me and the groom for whats important. OUR WEDDING.!!!!!!!

You do know that most people who enjoy a drink or two at dinner are not alcoholics right?

OMGitreallyhappened

It sounds like your working really hard just to celebrate this special moment for her. You do realize that as an adult you make choices. You don't have to go to her wedding. You don't have to do all of what you said you were gonna do. Honestly you don't have to buy a drink. You don't have to do anything that choose not to do. Your choosing to do all of this knowing, you have to fork over $9 or $12 for a cocktail. And your doing it begrudgingly. You also have the choice to decline an invite if it doesn't work for you. Because after all, it is about you right!!!!! Let it go. Celebrate. Order a soda and try to enjoy seeing your friend happy. Drink when you get home.

OMGitreallyhappened

Yes I do but when you make a huge fuss over it and cant do without it for even one dinner, you may have an issue.

NYCBruin

OMGitreallyhappened said:

I think people need to check there priorities. The reception is about celebrating you and your groom. You guys are starting your lives together and thank God you have enough common sense to know whats important. Everyones different and if alcohol is that important to you, you should have it at your own wedding. If its not, then don't. At my wedding we have chosen not to have alcohol at all. Does that mean that as an adult, you cant make the choice to have a drink? No it does not. What it means is you pay for your own drinking habits. No confusion here. There is a bar available at the restaurant and if there happy asses cant have one dinner without alcohol, then I would first tell them to seek there local AA meeting then I would tell them to go walk there happy asses to the bar and go buy a freaking drink. I don't drink, my fiancé doesn't drink, our parents don't drink and most of our closest friends don't drink. i've read the BS where people say, " its rude because you wouldn't charge people for a drink at your house so you shouldn't make people pay for a drink at your wedding blah blah blah". I disagree, if you came to my house you would just be mad because we don't have alcohol at our house, nor will I go out of my way to buy some for a guest. Your habit, your problem. Work it out. People are confusing tacky with reality. Here's the reality. Weddings cost a lot of money, life costs a lot of money and if you don't have a lot of money your gonna cut costs where its least important. Its life!!!! Get over it people. We will be putting it on the reception card because people should know so that they can bring money with them if they choose. Also, if alcohol is a big deal, I think people should have the option to decline the invitation. I would prefer those who choose to talk trash to just decline the invite and make room for someone else who really wants to celebrate me and the groom for whats important. OUR WEDDING.!!!!!!!

Oh dear.

1.  This thread is over a year old.  The original posters are no longer around.  Why did you resurrect an old thread just to "yell" at people?  

2.  No, the reception is NOT to celebrate the bride and groom.  The word "reception" (root: receive) is where the bride and groom receive their guests to thank them for attending the ceremony.  The ceremony is all about the bride and groom, the reception is a thank you for your guests.

3.  There is nothing wrong with having a dry wedding.  It's suggested here all the time.  No one here thinks having a dry wedding is rude.

4.  While a dry wedding is not rude, it is very rude to have a cash bar.  Basic idea, your guests should not even have the option to open their wallets at a party that is supposed to thank them.  For a more detailed explanation, please see this thread: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/995381/cash-bars-everything-you-need-to-know-in-one-place/p1

5.  If you don't want to host a bar at your wedding, then don't have a bar at your wedding.  You mention that you're having your reception at a restaurant.  If you're in a private room and the bar is in a separate room, then you aren't doing anything wrong.  It is rude of guests if they leave your reception (by leaving the room) to get alcohol and come back.  That's on them, not on you.

6.  It's incredibly tacky to but anything about the bar situation or entertainment on the reception card.  It sends the message that you think guests care more about alcohol/entertainment than attending your wedding.  Basically, by putting it on your invitation you are saying to your guests "we know that you're rude so we're giving you a heads up."  IMHO that's no way to treat your guests (who should be your nearest and dearest).

7.  Yes, it's yours and your groom's wedding, but it stops being all about you when you invite people.  If you don't give a rat's ass about your guests, then don't have them.  Elope with just you and your FI and it can be ALL ABOUT YOU.  Invite other people and the gracious, polite, kind thing to do is to treat your guests properly.  Wedding guests should be the people who you care about the most, not props who are there to fawn over you.  Treat them accordingly.

Maggie0829

OMGitreallyhappened said:

It sounds like your working really hard just to celebrate this special moment for her. You do realize that as an adult you make choices. You don't have to go to her wedding. You don't have to do all of what you said you were gonna do. Honestly you don't have to buy a drink. You don't have to do anything that choose not to do. Your choosing to do all of this knowing, you have to fork over $9 or $12 for a cocktail. And your doing it begrudgingly. You also have the choice to decline an invite if it doesn't work for you. Because after all, it is about you right!!!!! Let it go. Celebrate. Order a soda and try to enjoy seeing your friend happy. Drink when you get home.

What. The. Fuck?  Is this in response to what I wrote or was this meant for another thread completely?  Or was it directed towards another poster?  It is best to use the quote button so that if you are directing a response to someone they know what the hell you are talking about.

OMGitreallyhappened

The hosts doing there job????? Really???? Thank God I don't know people like you. The guests coming to my wedding are just happy to spend time with me and my fiancé. They're happy that they're gonna have a nice dinner and that Im not gonna take up there whole day. Its a shame because you sound like your one of those privileged jerks that believes people should wait on you and make your day. Maybe you didn't get the memo. The wedding isn't about you. Its about the bride and groom. Have you never been married? Do you not know how much weddings cost? Ridiculous/retarded.

Maggie0829

OMGitreallyhappened said:

The hosts doing there job????? Really???? Thank God I don't know people like you. The guests coming to my wedding are just happy to spend time with me and my fiancé. They're happy that they're gonna have a nice dinner and that Im not gonna take up there whole day. Its a shame because you sound like your one of those privileged jerks that believes people should wait on you and make your day. Maybe you didn't get the memo. The wedding isn't about you. Its about the bride and groom. Have you never been married? Do you not know how much weddings cost? Ridiculous/retarded.

To the bolded, do you realize how horribly offensive of a word that is?

OMGitreallyhappened

Interesting. My job hosts dinners and they don't cover alcohol. I go to retirement parties at restaurants and bars and they don't cover alcohol. If anything we buy the retiree dinner and a round. I go to bridal showers, birthday parties, baby showers, etc where people don't offer alcohol. Its ok if you have a different view on hosting. But your view is not the only one that exists or matters.

NYCBruin

OMGitreallyhappened said:

The hosts doing there job????? Really???? Thank God I don't know people like you. The guests coming to my wedding are just happy to spend time with me and my fiancé. They're happy that they're gonna have a nice dinner and that Im not gonna take up there whole day. Its a shame because you sound like your one of those privileged jerks that believes people should wait on you and make your day. Maybe you didn't get the memo. The wedding isn't about you. Its about the bride and groom. Have you never been married? Do you not know how much weddings cost? Ridiculous/retarded.

@OMGitreallyhappened

First off, don't use the bolded word.  It's offensive.

Second, are you going through this post and responding to individual posters?  Click the "quote" button, not the reply button so people know who you are responding to.

Third, this thread is OVER A YEAR OLD, many of the people you are responding to are no longer here.

Fourth, please see my previous post on this thread.

PrettyGirlLost

OMGitreallyhappened said:

I think people need to check there priorities.   Yes, you do.  The reception is about celebrating you and your groom. Sorry, wrong!  The wedding ceremony is the celebration of the union of the bride and groom.  The reception is when the hosts of the wedding, usually the bride and groom and their parents, "receive" and that all of the guests who came out to support and witness the marriage.  The reception is for the guests, it is not about the bride and groom.  You guys are starting your lives together and thank God you have enough common sense to know whats important. Everyones different and if alcohol is that important to you, you should have it at your own wedding. If its not, then don't. At my wedding we have chosen not to have alcohol at all.   There is nothing wrong with having a dry wedding.  Does that mean that as an adult, you cant make the choice to have a drink? No it does not. What it means is you pay for your own drinking habits. Uh, no.  What it means is that if you are hosting a dry wedding then it should be completely dry.  There should be no option for guests to buy drinks, the bar should totally be closed.  No confusion here. There is a bar available at the restaurant and if there happy asses cant have one dinner without alcohol, then I would first tell them to seek there local AA meeting then I would tell them to go walk there happy asses to the bar and go buy a freaking drink.   As a guest I'd think that your happy ass was just being cheap and refusing to host me properly by essentially hosting a reception with a cash bar.  Because that is what you are doing.  You are not hosting a dry wedding, you are just refusing to pay for alcohol.  And your attitude is frankly disrespectful and glib with the "AA" comment.  I don't drink, my fiancé doesn't drink, our parents don't drink and most of our closest friends don't drink.  Congrats.  Nothing wrong with choosing not to drink, but I don't care for your judgmental and holier than thou attitude in this post thus far towards people who choose to drink.   i've read the BS where people say, " its rude because you wouldn't charge people for a drink at your house so you shouldn't make people pay for a drink at your wedding blah blah blah".  It IS rude to charge your guests for anything at an event that you are hosting which is in THEIR HONOR.  If you don't want to provide alcohol then don't, and make sure the bar is closed.   I disagree, if you came to my house you would just be mad because we don't have alcohol at our house, nor will I go out of my way to buy some for a guest. Your habit, your problem.   Choosing to drink is not a "habit" unless it becomes a recurring pattern of problem behavior, and not everyone that drinks develops alcoholism.  Work it out. People are confusing tacky with reality.   You are the one who is confused.  Just because people make choices that differ from your personal preferences, does not make those choices and behavior aberrant.  Come down off of your high horse and stop judging people.  Here's the reality. Weddings cost a lot of money, life costs a lot of money and if you don't have a lot of money your gonna cut costs where its least important. Here's the reality- weddings can cost a lot of money and couples use that as an excuse to not properly host their guests at the reception, rather than cut superfluous elements such as flowers, chair covers, etc.  The reality is that these couples are more concerned with how their wedding looks than the comfort of their guests.  Its life!!!! Get over it people.   No one gives a shit about what your bouquets, table centerpieces, or chair covers looked like.  No one will remember if you had up lighting and a custom monogram shining down on the dance floor.  You will be lucky if anyone even recalls what your dress looked like.  It is life.  Get over it!  What your guests care about, and what they will remember and talk about for years to come is whether or not they enjoyed themselves.  All your guests need in order to have a good time at your wedding are gracious hosts, a place to sit, good food, and good music.  Fuck that up, and they will remember and talk about how awful your wedding was, no matter how gorgeous your flowers were.  We will be putting it on the reception card because people should know so that they can bring money with them if they choose.   No, you are putting it on the reception card because you are rude and tacky and you are being an awful host.  You should host your guests properly and you  should host what you can afford.  If you cannot afford or have a moral objection to serving alcohol, then have a completely dry wedding with a closed bar and absolutely no option for anyone to purchase drinks.  Also, if alcohol is a big deal, I think people should have the option to decline the invitation. I would prefer those who choose to talk trash to just decline the invite and make room for someone else who really wants to celebrate me and the groom for whats important. OUR WEDDING.!!!!!!!

Despite this being a zombie thread, I chose to respond because I honestly can't stand this poster's condescending and judgmental attitude towards the personal choices of others.

If you don't like to drink and don't want to serve alcohol at your wedding, well good for fucking you.  Have a dry wedding and be done with it.  But don't use your dislike of alcohol as a justification to be a bad host and have a cash bar.

southernbelle0915

OMGitreallyhappened said:

I think people need to check there priorities. I do, too. You explicitly stated that you'd rather spend the money you could use for a bar on yourself. Your priorities = YOU. Others' priorities = their guests. I'm curious how you think that makes US selfish? The reception is about celebrating you and your groom. Why don't you do a little research on what a "reception" actually is. Actually, I'll save you the time - a "reception" is where the B&G "receive" their guests and thank them for attending their wedding ceremony. It's about the guests. The ceremony is about the B&G, the reception is about the guests. You guys are starting your lives together and thank God you have enough common sense to know whats important. Apparently, you don't. Everyones different and if alcohol is that important to you, you should have it at your own wedding. If its not, then don't. At my wedding we have chosen not to have alcohol at all. Does that mean that as an adult, you cant make the choice to have a drink? No it does not. What it means is you pay for your own drinking habits. No confusion here. There is a bar available at the restaurant and if there happy asses cant have one dinner without alcohol, then I would first tell them to seek there local AA meeting then I would tell them to go walk there happy asses to the bar and go buy a freaking drink. Is this really how you'd look at one of your guests who went to the bar at your wedding? I don't drink, my fiancé doesn't drink, our parents don't drink and most of our closest friends don't drink. i've read the BS where people say, " its rude because you wouldn't charge people for a drink at your house so you shouldn't make people pay for a drink at your wedding blah blah blah". I disagree, if you came to my house you would just be mad because we don't have alcohol at our house, nor will I go out of my way to buy some for a guest. It is rude of a guest to expect alcohol. It's rude of a host to charge for alcohol. Your habit, your problem. Work it out. People are confusing tacky with reality. Here's the reality. Weddings cost a lot of money, life costs a lot of money and if you don't have a lot of money your gonna cut costs where its least important. Its life!!!! Get over it people. We will be putting it on the reception card because people should know so that they can bring money with them if they choose. It's terribly rude to state on your reception card what you're offering, but NOT hosting. Why? Just don't offer it. Also, if alcohol is a big deal, I think people should have the option to decline the invitation. I would prefer those who choose to talk trash to just decline the invite and make room for someone else who really wants to celebrate me and the groom for whats important. I wouldn't trash talk you, but I would decline if it was obvious you had no idea what the meaning of a reception is and how to properly host it. It goes both ways. OUR WEDDING.!!!!!!!

You're acting like anyone who drinks alcohol expects alcohol at weddings. They don't. I drink, but personally, I prefer a dry wedding over a cash bar. Always. If you have a dry wedding, I respect you for properly hosting. If you have a cash bar, I can only assume you have no idea how to properly host people.

OMGitreallyhappened said:

It sounds like your working really hard just to celebrate this special moment for her. You do realize that as an adult you make choices. You don't have to go to her wedding. You don't have to do all of what you said you were gonna do. Honestly you don't have to buy a drink. You don't have to do anything that choose not to do. Your choosing to do all of this knowing, you have to fork over $9 or $12 for a cocktail. And your doing it begrudgingly. If someone is "hosting" me and charges me for something, yes I will begrudge that. In the same YOU apparently begrudge people who expect alcohol to be served. I agree with you that that's rude. In the same way that it's rude to charge your guests for things that you offer to them. Just don't offer it if you don't plan to pay for it. You also have the choice to decline an invite if it doesn't work for you. Because after all, it is about you right!!!!! Let it go. Celebrate. Order a soda and try to enjoy seeing your friend happy. Drink when you get home.

Actually, here's what I'd do: I don't bring money to weddings unless it's in the card I brought for the B&G. I assume the best - that I won't be offered something unless it's hosted. If I'm not offered alcohol, great - I'll get whatever the hosts are offering and I'm happy with that. But if they offer me, their guest, something and then charge me for it, I have no choice but to pay for it with the only money I brought - the money in their card. Sorry B&G.

OMGitreallyhappened said:

Yes I do but when you make a huge fuss over it and cant do without it for even one dinner, you may have an issue.

No one is making a huge deal over the ABSENCE of alcohol. They're saying it's rude to OFFER it but not HOST it. I drink and I applaud dry weddings over cash bars. Always.

OMGitreallyhappened said:

The hosts doing there job????? Really???? Thank God I don't know people like you. Calm down there, Anger. The guests coming to my wedding are just happy to spend time with me and my fiancé. They're happy that they're gonna have a nice dinner and that Im not gonna take up there whole day. Its a shame because you sound like your one of those privileged jerks that believes people should wait on you and make your day. Is there some kind of program like AA that's geared towards judgment and anger management issues? Maybe you didn't get the memo. The wedding isn't about you. Its about the bride and groom. True, but the RECEPTION is about the guests. Did you get that memo? Have you never been married? Yes. Do you not know how much weddings cost? Yes. Ridiculous/retarded. How offensive!

You don't have to spend a lot of money to properly host your guests. Have a backyard picnic with burgers on paper plates, lemonade, and cake. Voila! Properly hosted reception for about $200. It sounds to me like YOU want to have the type of wedding that YOU can't afford - which is offering alcohol. Just don't offer it. Problem solved.

OMGitreallyhappened said:

Interesting. I doubt you actually find this interesting, but ok. My job hosts dinners and they don't cover alcohol. I go to retirement parties at restaurants and bars and they don't cover alcohol. Professional functions are not the same as personal functions. If anything we buy the retiree dinner and a round. I go to bridal showers, birthday parties, baby showers, etc where people don't offer alcohol. Its ok if you have a different view on hosting. Sounds very nice. But your view is not the only one that exists or matters.

Here's what I don't think you understand: proper hosting means not charging people for stuff you offer. If don't want to pay for it, don't offer it. Don't offer alcohol if you don't want to pay for it. It's very simple, but it sounds like you're getting very defensive and angry. It's really unnecessary. 

PrettyGirlLost

OMGitreallyhappened said:

The hosts doing there job????? Really???? Thank God I don't know people like you. The guests coming to my wedding are just happy to spend time with me and my fiancé.   Yeah, because that tired old line doesn't sound entitled at all.  They're happy that they're gonna have a nice dinner and that Im not gonna take up there whole day. Its a shame because you sound like your one of those privileged jerks that believes people should wait on you and make your day. Huh?  Maggie and NYC are privileged jerks because they are trying to explain to you how to properly treat your guests?  That makes no logical sense.  Maybe you didn't get the memo.   You didn't get the memo: we don't validate bad ideas and rude behavior on TK, and the machine that blows rainbows and unicorns up everyone's ass has been broken for a while now.  The wedding isn't about you. Its about the bride and groom.   The wedding ceases to be all about the bride and groom when the couples invite guests to witness the event.  At that point the ceremony is about the bride and groom, and the reception is about the guests.  Have you never been married? Do you not know how much weddings cost? Ridiculous/retarded.

OMGitreallyhappened said:

Interesting. My job hosts dinners and they don't cover alcohol. I go to retirement parties at restaurants and bars and they don't cover alcohol. If anything we buy the retiree dinner and a round. I go to bridal showers, birthday parties, baby showers, etc where people don't offer alcohol.   Not offering the alcohol at these functions is totally fine and not at all rude.  Having cash bars at these functions is considered rude because it forces guests to pay for something at a hosted event.  Its ok if you have a different view on hosting. But your view is not the only one that exists or matters.

grumbledore

OMGitreallyhappened said:

The hosts doing there job????? Really???? Thank God I don't know people like you. The guests coming to my wedding are just happy to spend time with me and my fiancé. They're happy that they're gonna have a nice dinner and that Im not gonna take up there whole day. Its a shame because you sound like your one of those privileged jerks that believes people should wait on you and make your day. Maybe you didn't get the memo. The wedding isn't about you. Its about the bride and groom. Have you never been married? Do you not know how much weddings cost? Ridiculous/retarded.

Ew.

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/995381/cash-bars-everything-you-need-to-know-in-one-place/p1

Dreamergirl8812

OMGitreallyhappened said:

The hosts doing there job????? Really???? Thank God I don't know people like you. The guests coming to my wedding are just happy to spend time with me and my fiancé. They're happy that they're gonna have a nice dinner and that Im not gonna take up there whole day. Its a shame because you sound like your one of those privileged jerks that believes people should wait on you and make your day. Maybe you didn't get the memo. The wedding isn't about you. Its about the bride and groom. Have you never been married? Do you not know how much weddings cost? Ridiculous/retarded.

Wow, self-entitled bigotry. Cute.

RedJacks25

OMGitreallyhappened said:

Ridiculous/retarded.

Oh no you didn't just fucking use that word.

MyNameIsNot

OMGitreallyhappened said:

The hosts doing there job????? Really???? Thank God I don't know people like you. The guests coming to my wedding are just happy to spend time with me and my fiancé. They're happy that they're gonna have a nice dinner and that Im not gonna take up there whole day. Its a shame because you sound like your one of those privileged jerks that believes people should wait on you and make your day. Maybe you didn't get the memo. The wedding isn't about you. Its about the bride and groom. Have you never been married? Do you not know how much weddings cost? Ridiculous/retarded.

Big shock.  Someone who is selfish and rude enough to have a cash bar is offensive and doesn't know how to spell.  

RedJacks25

@OMGitreallyhappened You do know that "their" is a word, right?

There, they're, and their.

All three exist for a reason. "There" and "their" are not interchangeable. Please learn to use them properly, especially if you're going to be yelling at people. When you use them incorrectly, you just look even more ridiculous.

Viczaesar

OMGitreallyhappened said:

The hosts doing there job????? Really???? Thank God I don't know people like you. The guests coming to my wedding are just happy to spend time with me and my fiancé. They're happy that they're gonna have a nice dinner and that Im not gonna take up there whole day. Its a shame because you sound like your one of those privileged jerks that believes people should wait on you and make your day. Maybe you didn't get the memo. The wedding isn't about you. Its about the bride and groom. Have you never been married? Do you not know how much weddings cost? Ridiculous/retarded.

Shame on you.