Wedding Reception Forum

Re: I need advice!

  • The only way you can cut out the reception is to cut out the guests.  If you invite them, you need to recieve them afterwards.

    But, a cake an punch reception in the church basement is totally fine.  Do it in the afternoon so that it isn't during a meal time.  Set up some tables and chairs, DIY some decor, get a cake, set up an ipod for background music, and just mingle for an hour or two.  But this is a truly budget wedding.  If you are doing something simple like this but spending a lot of money on non-essentials, your guests are going to be miffed. 

    Since the HM is so important to you, have you considered doing a DW?  You'd cut your guest list way down, and you could do a package for fairly inexpensive. 
  • Ditto.  A cake and punch reception is perfectly acceptable but you must provide something after the cermeony for your guests.  The reception is not about the bride and groom but a thank you for the guests for attending the ceremony.  If you don't want a reception at all then get married by yourselves at a courthouse.  Anyone you invite to attend the ceremony should be invited to something afterwards.
  • LasairionaLasairiona member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2009
    If you don't want a reception, don't invite any guests. Cake and coffee is perfectly acceptable and used to be how all receptions everywhere were conducted, and in many areas still commonly done. Full dinners are a very new concept in the last century. Also, alcohol is never required, especially if you cannot afford it.
  • A cake and punch reception after the ceremony is perfectly fine.  Realize that it will be a much shorter reception, but if you're okay with that then it's fine.  You can't skip the reception all together though.  The reception is your "thank you" to your guests for being there to support you and for traveling in some cases and for bringing gifts, which most people will do.  It's incredibly rude not to have something for your guests afterward.

    Personally, I think it's sad that flowers and pictures are more important to you than having a fun time with your guests and feeding them food and drinks, but to each their own.
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  • The big party, DJ/band, decorations, etc., is not what makes a reception a reception. You "receiving" your guests with some refreshments is still a reception. So whether you do cake and coffee, or a five-course dinner with lots of liquor, it's still a reception.

    As long as you're feeding the guests something and have seats for all of them and something for background music, then you're all set. The amount of food should equate to the time of day ... so if you wanted to just serve cake and coffee, this would be best for a non-mealtime, so that people aren't famished. Maybe 2-4 p.m., or 8-10 p.m. Two or three hours is sufficient for a wedding with no dancing and no alcohol. There's NOTHING wrong with no having booze or dancing, but those things tend to make people want to stick around longer, so a 5-hour reception without drinks or dancing will probably be way too long.


    I think it also depends on the amount of people you're inviting. I think this type of wedding is best suited for about 100 people at the absolute max. Quite honestly, if I was at this kind of wedding (especially if you splurged on photography and flowers and anything else besides food/entertainment, and especially if I knew you were going on a nice honeymoon afterward) and it had over 100 people there, I'd see it as a gift grab. Because it would appear to me (and I'm sure others) that you just wanted a lot of people there so you could get presents, but you would rather spend the money on flowers and a trip than feeding them. I would hate for people to gossip about you behind your back if this was not the case.

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  • I'm all for a simple, affordable wedding. If cake and punch is what you can make work then go for it! That being said, if you decorate yourself, your bridesmaids and the church with $5000 worth of out of season orchids and then have a cake and punch reception, as a guest, I'd probably regret bringing such a nice gift.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:24175106-8f62-4524-bb72-15615a4a58f5Post:e5681898-70ce-4646-8467-617bad640b96">Re: I need advice!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm all for a simple, affordable wedding. If cake and punch is what you can make work then go for it! That being said, if you decorate yourself, your bridesmaids and the church with $5000 worth of out of season orchids and then have a cake and punch reception, as a guest, I'd probably regret bringing such a nice gift.
    Posted by killertomato47[/QUOTE]

    Exactly.  Budget weddings are perfectly fine, but if you're clearly spending money on things that only benefit you while cutting way back on things that benefit your guests, they're not going to think very highly of you.  (I think it's fine to splurge on the photographer to an extent, but you don't have to spend a fortune to get someone talented, and spending more isn't a guarantee of quality.)  Personally, I would cut back on the flowers and see about providing some finger foods along with the cake and punch.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • I've been to dry receptions as well as cake and punch receptions in the church basement and they aren't lame. They are a good way to save money but still give all of your guests a little time with you as a couple.

    When my brother got married a bunch of the ladies in the family made cookies and treats and they served them buffet style and had some punch and their cake. Eveyone seemed to have a good time.

    Just make sure that you don't hold a cake and punch reception during lunch or dinner time.
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