Is it weird/rude to ask guests to not take centerpieces?

aussiedog

I am making my own centerpieces with vintage Ball jars (thanx knotties for this WONDERFUL idea!), but my Mom and Fiance think our guests will take them. Is it completly rude for me to put a note on the Table # card asking them to not remove them? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated, I'm going to soon be making these little details.
Thanx a bunch Ladies!

mgietler76

I never even thought of this! I don't think it's a good idea to put a note that says not to take them. It seems as if you are expecting your adult guests to steal the centerpieces IMO. Why do you want to keep them if you don't mind me asking?

slwbride

I personally wouldn't put a note. As a guest I would never think of taking a centerpiece unless it was offered to me and I know at our wedding non of guests took the centerpieces until we started asking people if they wanted them.

loop0406

Our venue offers rental of centerpieces but we're doing our own for this reason: mos t of our guests will take them home, no asking, just how most of them are....I think putting a note for them not to take centerpiece is rude.

Maybe make a few extra ones in this case so you can sell, keep, cherish them

bellebride116

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_weirdrude-ask-guests-not-centerpieces?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:293dbd58-8a6e-4c8e-b9f5-274574a8c302Post:caa654e1-1fcf-44a2-9f45-18447a138ea9">Re: Is it weird/rude to ask guests to not take centerpieces?</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally wouldn't put a note. As a guest I would never think of taking a centerpiece unless it was offered to me and I know at our wedding non of guests took the centerpieces until we started asking people if they wanted them.
Posted by slwbride[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree. Our centerpieces were rentals, granted no one took them because they all traveled too, but I didn't even think about putting a note. I don't think people are generally klepto like that, but what do I know. Maybe you could just notify your venue that they are not to be taken home so if someone see's a guest walking out they can kindly pull them aside and let them know? Or have you venue/coordinator take them off the tables a little before the reception is over?</div>

cmmosley81

I think it would be rude to place a note. More importantly I think stopping someone from taking it would be rude as well. If you think that someone may take the centerpeice then you need to not use that one. I think that a lot of times the only way it is ok for somone to take it is when they are told either by the DJ or you personally that someone may take it.

tenofcups4me

I would never take a centerpiece unless I was told to take one. I would find a note telling me not to take one in really poor taste -- and would wonder about what other kind of people were at the wedding that you felt you had to tell them not to take things.

iarguello

I have never been to a wedding where guest have taken the center pieces but I have been told by all my vendors- especially the venue to watch out for that. Why would anyone take it? I'm lost at the boldness of some guests to take things without being invited to.

aerinpegadrak

I've never presumed that the centerpieces were up for grabs at a wedding unless I was told to take one.

PharmacyBride

I have two suggestions.. but I am still debating if the second one is rude or not.

1. (ditto PPs) have the venue on the lookout for people trying to leave with them

2. Put a note underneath the centerpiece (out of view when centerpiece is on the table) that just says "Please leave centerpieces behind" (sounds less harsh than "please don't take centerpieces")   At least this way - the message is only seen by the rude guests - not everyone.

goetzr19

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_weirdrude-ask-guests-not-centerpieces?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:293dbd58-8a6e-4c8e-b9f5-274574a8c302Post:48dd22aa-8d9e-4323-a67a-955a997ff0bf">Re: Is it weird/rude to ask guests to not take centerpieces?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it weird/rude to ask guests to not take centerpieces? : Why is it rude to keep someone from taking something that is not theirs?  If she was renting centerpieces and someone took one, it would be on her to pay the rental co. <strong><em><u>OP, don't put a note on the table.   I would just ask a couple of people (venue staff) to keep their eye out toward the end of the night.  If they see someone walking out with a centerpiece, they can approach them and let them know the centerpieces need to remain on the table.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]</u></em></strong>

THIS.  You won't be able to control if someone takes them.  You might be overreacting, but then again I don't know your guests, and you do.  Letting the venue know is a good idea.  Also, if someone takes them, but you are making them, what are you going to do with 10-20 centerpieces in bell jars after the wedding?

gwencortopassi

I had never attended a wedding where guests clamored for centerpieces at the end of the evening...until my own.  People (well a specific group of people) walked out with one in each hand!  Sucked for me because the containers were rented from my florist.  If anyone can think of a tactful way to keep centerpieces on tables, more power to you.

gottahavashorti

Ditto Belle and MilkDuds' suggestions.  Ask the staff to remove the centerpieces t some point during the dancing and to keep an eye out for guests trying to take centerpieces.  A note would strike me as rude but asking someone not to take something that belongs to you if they are trying to steal it is by no means rude.

Does this tend to be an issue among your family and friends?

chicadelpadre

I've already had people tell me that they will likely be taking our centerpieces. It makes me mad because if they had asked I would have gladly given it to them, but the fact that they assumed they could just take, without asking prior, irks me. I will be asking people to keep an eye out for centerpieces that grow legs and try to make it out the door. It's not so much that I want all of my centerpieces at the end of the night, but more so I don't like people assuming they can take what isn't theirs.

Linz10882

I had never even considered this problem until I saw this post!!  I don't think a note is a good idea, but giving the venue staff and a few family members a heads up might be a good way to go.  

Our wedding will be in Miami-- home of the rude, crude and ill-mannered!  I can so see some of the guests walking out with our centerpieces (inlcuding the containers which need to be returned to our florist!).  Not going to happen!  My fiance is pretty bold and will be good at making sure said ill-mannered guests don't walk away with a hydrangea arrangement popping out of their giant designer handbag, LOL. 

stephdonjon

Who would ever steal centerpieces? Favors are one thing, and there's one at each seat so it's pretty apparent they're meant for taking. I can't imagine someone thinking the centerpiece was meant for them to take home. Don't leave a note. 

Worst case scenario: in the off-chance that someone would take one, because they're DIY projects, it's not like you owe the venue money for stolen rental centerpieces.

alyssalowe

I love the idea where the note only shows if they try swiping it. In our area its VERY custom that the centerpieces go to someone so brides do games or gift them to the mothers/grandmothers. NONE of mine will be going home with anyone. I too have had a few people tell me they were gunna try swiping one because they are very pretty and I have explained that Im not giving them away. Staff is aware they should not sprout legs. I bought them so they are mine. After my wedding I will be selling them to make some of my money back. I dont care if I have a million of something... people should never assume I can not use or do not want them with out asking.

wishulthinking

[QUOTE] Put a note underneath the centerpiece (out of view when centerpiece is on the table) that just says "Please leave centerpieces behind" (sounds less harsh than "please don't take centerpieces")   At least this way - the message is only seen by the rude guests - not everyone.
Posted by PharmacyBride[/QUOTE]


Personally, I like this idea. I'm really glad I saw this post because I didn't even know this was an issue for lots of people. I'll be renting my vases and I don't want to have to pay for them.

linguo42

Who on earth goes to a wedding and just decides to help themselves to a centerpiece? I had no idea anyone even contemplated things like that. Pens I knew about, but writing utensils are one thing, an entire centerpiece is another.

One of my favorite things we used to do at my musical theatre society's booth at Clubs Days in university was put tags on all the pens which said, "I stole this pen from The Gilbert & Sullivan Society". I'd totally put a sticker saying "I stole this from __ & __'s wedding" on the bottom of the centerpiece containers, but then, I'm passive-aggressive like that.

ellie_spoutz

I know what youre talking about. i think thats what people did back in the day cuz every wedding ive been to when i was younger  they'd expect people to take them or try to get you to take it when you leave, except for 1 where they just put "centerpiece reserved" on a small card in front of it. some ppl on here are stupid by saying people will steal them. it's not rude to put reserved on it

harmony1389

Personaly I think it would be a little in the rude side. We are doing fich bowls for our center pieces and will be asking guest to take them home. Normaly guest do not take things fromt the party unless asked. I wouldn't worry about it unless you have people that you know would take them. If that is the case I would have your venue or wedding party just keep an eye on it for you so you can enjoy your happy day.

526SadieSadie

In Response to Re: Is it weird/rude to ask guests to not take centerpieces?:
[QUOTE]I personally wouldn't put a note. As a guest I would never think of taking a centerpiece unless it was offered to me
Posted by slwbride[/QUOTE]

This.

fatchunk

You guys are making me nervous that the $700 I spent in apothecary jars will be stolen. I feel like if JUST ONE guest takes a centerpiece, others will notice (as my centerpieces are a huge 23 inches tall!) and they will think it's ok. ugh.

Judith233

My mother had centerpieces for my brother's rehearsal dinner.  While she was talking with some of the guests, about 4 walked right out the door.  My SIL, brother & his wife left with 2 before the dinner was even over.  And she had plans for them, only certain peole were supposed to get one.  Like the bride/my brother, parents of the bride, MOH, and BM.  The rest were supposed to be spoken for.  Luckily (for them) I love my brother.  I really wanted to put my high heel right up their klepto bums.

People are often rude and stupid when you least expect it.  Don't assume it isn't going to happen.  I'm with putting the note underneath it, but you have to make it obvious so they notice the note when they pick up the centerpiece. 

Also if you see someone start to leave with one, have the DJ call that klepto out!  No one has a reason to be embarrassed if they didn't do anything wrong and every reason to be if they do.  You have already fed and watered these people that should be more than sufficient.

The guests aren't entitled to free centerpieces any more than the bride is entitled to a gift.  One can hope, but neither is an entitlement.

mikellshea

That just seems so odd to me that someone would walk out with a centerpiece, the thought has never even crossed my mind until I read this post.I really like the idea of leaving a note underneath it, I don't find that rude at all!

[Deleted User]

I was at a Korean wedding once and it was explained to me by the groom that it was customary for the older people to take home the centerpieces. Now I'm not Korean or even Asian, so I can only figure that in some cultures that this is the norm?

That said, maybe some people are grabby rude. I've never seen it done outside of this particular wedding.

Maybe you can glue it down to a mirror (or the like) centerpiece thingie? That way, it'll look pretty ridiculous if they try to take it and they'll get the message. Hopefully.

MissAngel

It depends on the area you live, but I have seen this happen before (more than once)...  Yes, it is customary in some cultures for people to take them and if an elderly person takes it, would you stop then?  And once one person has done it, another who sees may do the same.  

And as pp said, why couldn't she keep them and sell them later?  There's no harm in that, I plan on doing the same thing with all of my milk glass vases and other brides have already reserved them until after my wedding is done.  I think you could leave a note under it or have the "centerpiece reserved" sign.  I think that's a good idea.

LeahDVM2003

How about putting notes near the centerpieces that say "Thank you to Smith's Rental for allowing us to use their vases" or something simiilar.  That should make it clear that they are rented and must be returned.  (You could use this, depending on how you feel about "white lies", even if you own them.)  I can't believe someone would take a centerpiece unless instructed, but, judging by the PP's, it seems I am naive.

michelleklay

I like the idea of putting a note under the centerpieces.  Make the note on a very flashy, bold piece of paper and maybe have it also taped to the table so that it doesn't move and it doesn't blend with the colors on the table.

blags1178

I agree w/ the posts to perhaps have someone keep an eye out for these people.. and I also like the idea (for insurance) to put a note UNDER the centerpiece. I don't think this is rude/tacky-- it's rude/tacky to help yourself to something you were not offered! Probably the same people who only came for the free food and drinks! UGH~ I am creating my own centerpieces too, it will be interesting to see if I find anything missing.. but alas, what WILL I do with 24 centerpieces? Good luck, and congratualtions!

lily185

I don't think I care if mine go missing, but I'm planning on getting squat, wide mouth bowls, filling 1/2 to 3/4 full of water, adding food coloring to the tune of one of my colors, and dropping in white, floating candles. I think filling them with water is a pretty big deterent.