What to do?

cfibelkorn

We don't really have a choice in our ceremony start time since our wedding is on a Friday. In downtown traffic we want to provide enough time for people to make it to the ceremony which starts at 7pm. This will mean the reception will start at like 8pm. 
We can do either a full meal and no alcohol (cash bar) or hors d'oeuvres only and beer and wine. 
So what would you do? My guest list is about 40-50 and about half of them drink.

Please note that my family wont think a Cash Bar is tacky, so please try to not think of it that way, unless it just kills you

pandasquishy

Since people will be getting ready to come to your wedding at dinner time, you should consider feeding them dinner.  However, a cash bar is very very poor etiquette (even if you don't think your family will feel that way, it's a fact).  You would be better off having a beer/wine only bar which would be cheaper, or having no bar at all.  If you can see yourself doing either of those things, go with the heavy hors d'oeuvres, but know that people will leave earlier.

Lasairiona

Heavy appetizer receptions during the dinner time actually serve more food all around than a plated meal. Anyone who tells you otherwise has no clue how to do them properly. Guests should never open their wallets at the wedding for any reason. Even if a select few won't be offended if you require them to do so, others in attendance will as it is a breach of etiquette. Also, don't buy the lie that having a cash bar will keep people from drinking. The bars in town that people go to aren't free and any given number of those folks come home drunk because that's their sole intention.

fishieballerina

I disagree that cash bar is a breach of etiquette. If you can't afford open bar, your friends and family should, and most likely will, understand. Where I am from there is almost no such thing as an open bar (unless some really rich person comes to the area from out of town to get married). Many families cannot afford the open bar and guests really don't mind spending a couple bucks for a drink. Don't have people paying for their soda or champagne toast, but no one is going to walk out on your reception because you did not want, or could not afford, them drinking the night away on your tab. People are not going to remember that there was no open bar, they are going to remember the fun times they had dancing, taking pictures, etc.

If you want to give your guests a little bit extra without going for the whole open bar, just have wine/beer for those who want it and anyone who wants liquor can pay cash.

iamjoesgurl

If I were attending your wedding, I would prefer to have hors d'oeuvres.  As far as the cash bar is concerned, I think it is fine.  I think it all depends on what is common in your area and among your social circle.  When I attend a wedding, I expect to pay for the bar drinks.  I know some people think it is tacky on TK, but it sounds like it is normal for your circle of friends and your family.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:2f6ece2a-d9df-4f14-8182-4e92ec173ddbPost:bc923202-3ab4-453d-b842-f3c604caff53">Re: What to do?</a>:
[QUOTE]I disagree that cash bar is a breach of etiquette. If you can't afford open bar, your friends and family should, and most likely will, understand. Where I am from there is almost no such thing as an open bar (unless some really rich person comes to the area from out of town to get married). Many families cannot afford the open bar and guests really don't mind spending a couple bucks for a drink. Don't have people paying for their soda or champagne toast, but no one is going to walk out on your reception because you did not want, or could not afford, them drinking the night away on your tab. People are not going to remember that there was no open bar, they are going to remember the fun times they had dancing, taking pictures, etc. If you want to give your guests a little bit extra without going for the whole open bar, just have wine/beer for those who want it and anyone who wants liquor can pay cash.
Posted by fishieballerina[/QUOTE]

You can disagree all you want... but it is a breach of etiquette.  I do not come from a rich family, actually I come from  a working class family and we would find it quite rude. And yes they would remember there was a cash bar and they would bitch about it (not to the bride of course).   I've never attended a family wedding that was a cash bar (I've been to some 30 family weddings).  So the fact there was one would stand out.

I do not think it's the worse breach of etiquette you can make, but it's still a breach of etiquette.