Dance reception invitation wording

LovelyBride229

Unless you have already booked your hall and caterer i would look into a venue cater that is less expensive here in Atlanta catering can range from $10 pp to $125, we're def not spending $125 on each person for one meal. So we decided to have our event an a beautiful community center which is 1/2 the cost of our original venue which has allowed $$$$$$ for catering and to include more people. You have to be open minded and think outside the box of venues, banquet halls, hotel ect are pricey, Gardens, community centers, museums & non-traditional venues can save alot of $. 

ceceibson

Yet another thread where people are using their own budgetary shortcomings as an excuse for rude behavior.

When it comes to properly hosting a wedding, there is only one way to do it.  You come up with a budget, then decide on the number of people you can afford to host while staying within that budget.  And that means HOSTING everything for everyone across the board.

If you simply must invite 400 people, then you adjust what you provide for them accordingly.  But every guest gets the exact same treatment.  And no guest should be asked to open his or her wallet for any reason.

My DH and I are "older", too.  I'm 49, he's 62.  Between us, we have 12 children and grandchildren and our immediate families [by immediate, we decided through our first cousins] was alone 120 people.  We ended up budgeting for and then inviting around 220 and had 180 actually at the wedding.

I worked my ass off and saved money for over a year in order to have the wedding we wanted.  And what we wanted was a wedding at which every single one of our guests was properly hosted.

We hosted a family dinner the night before, a preception before the wedding and a reception after the wedding.  Both parties included cocktails and appetizers, plus a limited OPEN bar [beer and wine, lucky for me our venues didn't allow hard alcohol] a buffet dinner and dancing at the reception.

People still talk about how they felt our wedding was more about our families and friends and less about us. Which is exactly what we wanted.  And what proper etiquette really requires.

QueerFemme

CMGr said:

Ladies, this thread is more than three years old.

Yeah... but there are two people who ressurected it to justify their own rude behavior.

Dma361

I just don't understand how people can say they have no choice. Of course you do. It's called a budget. As the older couples these claim to be, they should understand how one works. You can't afford 400 people? Then your 18th cousin and every coworker you have whose name you don't even know aren't invited. Can't afford open bar for 400 people? Have beer, wine, and a specialty cocktail. Can't afford to feed them? Alter your menu. Can't afford the venue for the guest list? Find another one. Pick priorities and do what you can afford. It's not that hard. 

deirdre02

The only rude people here are those who are posting replies that are not at all helpful.  In many communities, where the entire community expects to be invited to your dance, this is a very common practice.  In my community it is also assumed that if you are invited to the dance, you do not bring a gift.  You just come for the party to CELEBRATE with the couple.  I think many people on here forget that that's what a wedding is supposed to be for.. to celebrate your love of each other.  Additionally, I read 30 per plate above.  Around here most places are 70ish per plate and that doesn't include appetizers, or alcohol. 

I have probably been invited to 20 just dances and not once was I offended.

Please stop ganging up on each other.  All that does is make already stressed out brides more stressed.  This should be a place of support and helpful input.   

SusanSmi

I totally agree! I guess some people are quick to talk about how rude other people can be and don't stop to think about the circumstances of others. Unfortunately, not all of us are well off enough to be able to invite everyone we want. I've been invited to just the dance before as well and it's never offended me.

I'm in the same boat...I have a cap and we've passed the cap and have to start cutting the list. It's hard because I don't feel like I can cut family off the list, but there's people I've worked with in the past and other acquaintances I'd rather have there to celebrate with me than some of my own family even (people I haven't spoken to in a long time).

 

 

OliveOilsMom

Guests lists are hard to make.  But tiering your guests is much worse than not inviting them at all.  I could have easily invited 200+ to my wedding, but there was no way that was going to be in our budget.  So we made hard cuts and had our list down to 100, which is what we could afford.

And just because you have not been offended to being invited to "just the dance" doesn't make it right.  It's rude to do.  You need to host all of the guests on your list equally.  If you want to have a large guest list than have your wedding at a non-meal time.  You can then just have appetizers and desserts instead of a full dinner.

@KnotPorscha Can we close this old zombie thread?

WonderRed