To seating chart or not to seating chart? That is the question...

cyndi2muchlou4u

There will be about 200 guests. Buffet dinner. My FMIL is insisting that i have open seating and let my guests choose where to sit. I am really torn with this. I can see it as being another expense bc i will then have to tell my venue to set up extra tables and place settings. plus, that means more centerpieces. I also feel i know my guests well enough to know who they would choose to sit with anyway. Yet, if i choose to make a seating chart thats more work and time consuming. Plus i would have to buy materials and make the cards myself.

What are you doing for your wedding? how should i tell my fiances mother if i decide to go with assigned seating? I dont want to upset her. I also do not want any of my quests to feel uncomfortable by making them sit where i want them to. HELP!!

feelslikeadream

We are doing buffet as well but are doing a seating chart.

I looked it up before deciding to do assigned seating and decided to go with it because many people say the guests like it easier as it is less confusing.

Just tell her that it makes it more organized and less confusion for the guests.  They can always trade seats with each other but at least they know they have their own spot.  More than likely people are only going to be sitting there for the dinner and then will move around so they aren't stuck there.

Ghoti

Open seating with 200 people will be a madhouse, try to compromise and assign tables instead

caseyandlizzie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_seating-chart-not-seating-chart-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:330b962d-f438-4731-bc8c-1a9d2cae4ec8Post:42f6763f-2517-4d65-b5e4-b803c8c78ab6">Re: To seating chart or not to seating chart? That is the question...</a>:
[QUOTE]Open seating with 200 people will be a madhouse, try to compromise and assign tables instead :)
Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]

This. I could understand doing open seating for around 80 guests or so, but 200?!? I would definitely assign your guests to tables and make escort cards. I made mine out of leftover cardstock from our invitations....yes it was a bit more time consuming, but it worked well.

trix1223

Doing table assignments is actually a courtesy to your guests. It ensures that people who don't get along won't end up stuck with each other because they're the only open seats left.

It ensures that couples or families won't be split up because there are not enough seats left at any given table when they arrive.

It ensures that Great Aunt Hilda won't be seated with your FIs college frat brothers, or that Grandpa Al won't end up sitting right next to the dj's speakers.

It ensures that your college roommate, who doesn't know anyone but you at the wedding, won't wander the room hoping that she can sit somewhere. (Remember the cafeteria in Jr. High?)

It ensures that you won't have 11 people jammed into a table that seats 8 comfortably because people decided to pull up chairs so they could all sit together.

It also saves you $$, because when you don't have assigned tables, you need to have extras because you WILL end with tables of 4 where you intended to have 8.

I've only been to one wedding without table assignments, and it was a holy mess as people wandered around trying to figure out where they were supposed to sit.

Do table assignments.

lindenheart

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_seating-chart-not-seating-chart-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:330b962d-f438-4731-bc8c-1a9d2cae4ec8Post:cf23ca3e-3e19-49a5-96bc-caf34852bd64">Re: To seating chart or not to seating chart? That is the question...</a>:
[QUOTE]Doing table assignments is actually a courtesy to your guests.  It ensures that couples or families won't be split up because there are not enough seats left at any given table when they arrive.  It ensures that you won't have 11 people jammed into a table that seats 8 comfortably because people decided to pull up chairs so they could all sit together. Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

THIS is the exact reason I decided to do assigned tables. Assigned tables takes a little less work than assigned seats and then I feel less of a dictator because I'm only asking you to sit at a particular table, not necessarily on a particular chair.

holi108

I have a 200 person guest list as well and we will be doing assigned seating, kind of. Instead of literally assigning a seat with a name tag in front of the chair we are just going to do table assignments. Were going to make 2 big charts (blown up at kinkos or office depot) with the name of the person (in alphabetical order) and the table we have assigned them to.  I don't have time or the patients to do individual name tags, nor do I want to spend money on them because they can get up there in price.

acwm

Ditto exactly what Trix said. Do table assignments. You can use all of the reasons here to explain your choice to your FMIL. And the escort cards don't have to be extravagant-- writing your guests' name and table assignment on cardstock is perfectly sufficient.

courtney1188

I hate open seating, it reminds me of trying to figure out where to sit in the cafeteria back in the high school days.

DeadUtopia

I'm doing open seating, with a guest list of about 170, only because most of FI's family doesn't RSVP and they wouldn't follow the seating anyway. I have extra seating to make up for the skipped chairs and such, but the tables will be numbered so the DJ can call tables up to the buffet instead of letting it be a free for all.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_seating-chart-not-seating-chart-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:330b962d-f438-4731-bc8c-1a9d2cae4ec8Post:66ea0b0d-dc21-485e-8872-f6a96a1ef05d">Re: To seating chart or not to seating chart? That is the question...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm doing open seating, with a guest list of about 170, only because most of FI's family doesn't RSVP and they wouldn't follow the seating anyway. I have extra seating to make up for the skipped chairs and such, but the tables will be numbered so the DJ can call tables up to the buffet instead of letting it be a free for all.
Posted by DeadUtopia[/QUOTE]


If your FI's family is so rude that don't RSVP, then it's incumbent on you and your FI to call them and ask if they're attending. That's what you do for people who don't follow the simple rules of etiquette when there's an RSVP on the invitation.

Just out of curiosity:  how do you know how much to prepare for if people don't respond?  How much food do you make.  How many tables and chairs do you need?  How many favors do you prepare?

DeadUtopia

We're preparing for 100% attendance. We have seating for 200 and 200 favors. It's a cultural thing with his side of the family. Most people won't even go to the ceremony, they just go to the reception. While it is rude, and I think it is, I can't do anything about it. Just to bring in some perspective, I had to explain to my FMIL what an RSVP was. Not a fun position to be in, believe me.

[Deleted User]

Its your wedding, but I would do table assignments. But it doesn't mean it has to be iron clad, since its buffet you don't have to worry about place settings.
If people really want to sit at another table, then they can, you can have the table assignments be more like "a set of guidelines" with parley rights (parleh?).
But, if you have a decent table assignment, then people will probably enjoy the company at their table or the one immediately next to them.

Did you ask the family why so against it? From these boards, it seems to be a regional thing if its "standard" to do it or not to do it. It would also depend on your family and friends (I'm not so concerned about my friends, but I need to keep my parents seperated, for example). Maybe they had a bad experience with assigned seating (I have) so you can work from there? You can also compromise so that its "just for the buffet, afterwards its mingling" which in my (small) experience tends to happen anyway.

Holi108 had a great suggestion (I like the alphabetical order, I hate staring at charts hunting for my name), and you could do it in a number of creative ways. Make the charts by hand, adding embellishments that match your theme or decor. Do up a big chalkboard (you can get chalkboard spray paint now I think), or get kinkos/etc to do the print thing in the "stationary" that you have. I am not a fan of the whole stationary/formal invites or escort cards etc, so I don't blame you on this one at all.

bsn1752

Ditto Trix.  It's really easier for everyone to have table/seat assignments.