Alcohol

SarahSES

Hi everyone,

What is more common to have at receptions?  I am not really wanting alcohol but my Fiance is. I was wanting to save the money but it seems like guests almost expect an open bar or something. I have a couple alcoholics in my family so I am hesitant anyway. 

What did you do or what are you planning on doing at your reception with alcohol?  

I am having it in Cincinnati Ohio and just find it expensive but if we found the right place , I would do it.

Thanks!

 

kimberlyr22

We had an evening wedding and did an open beer/wine bar and provided several mixed drink options (signature drinks).  I typically expect alcohol to be served at an evening wedding, I don't expect alcohol at a daytime event.  The expectation is simply based on formality; typically formal weddings are in the evenings and formal weddings usually have some sort of alcohol provided or offered.

Of course, it's your wedding, so providing alchol is at the discretion of you and your fiance and your budget.  Sounds like for you guys it's going to come down to compromise since you want different things.  Perhaps scaling it down to just beer and wine would be a good compromise if the budget permits.

AddieCake

Avoiding the cost of alcohol was one of the reasons we opted for a morning ceremony with lunch reception and served only unlimited mimosas and a glass of wine for the toast. You can always host just beer and wine or a signature drink as Kimberly suggested. No need to go into debt with a full open bar. 

lyndausvi

Everyone's social groups is different in their expecations.

We have alcohol at all social events.   1st b-day parties, wakes/funerals, Sunday dinner's at grandmas, etc.   Basically if 2 relatives not living together have a get together alcohol would be offered. (not always consumed, but at least offered).    Time of day or day of week does not matter. 


I've never attended a wedding  that did not have an open bar of some sort (limited or full) or a full meal for that matter regardless of the time of day.  So my expectations are open bar.    

  Now my parent's best friends are from TN and were brought up in a Southern Baptist home.   Their families do not drink or dance.  Their families expectations are simple punch and cake weddings.   My parent's friends do drink and dance and moved up north to Yankee land (as one of the moms called it). They don't really have expectations because well they have attended weddings with and without alcohol.


My point is, I would be IDK, disappointed there was no bar.   Especially at an evening wedding.     But I'm not one of your guests.  You might come from a social group where it's not really an expectation like it is in mine.

NeedFavors

My father wouldn't even discuss a wedding without alcohol, and he was paying so that solved that issue.

AJuliaNJ

We are definitely having an open bar. I've never been to a wedding that didn't have one. However, if I was invited to a wedding with no alcohol, I'd be fine with it. It's just one night.

alithebride

we had full top shelf open bar. it's common here. we would've done it even if it wasn't common.

imo-you cannot use the 'alcoholic int eh family' excuse. they drive and see beer commercials, they go to a restaurant and see alcohol, in the grocery store etc...

if you can't afford it that's another issue. you dont have to serve it of course but i believe you should do the absolute best and most for your guests possible.

you can just serve beer (light and reg) and wine (red and white) and 1 or 2 cocktails instead of a full bar.

Jen4948

Mine would probably have an open bar since most of my family events have had them, but I do remember one that had just beer, wine, and champagne and I can live with that.  I myself am not much of a drinker although I don't teetotal, and my BF doesn't really drink either (at least I have yet to see him do so).  I can even live with a dry wedding, but probably everyone we'd invite would expect some booze.

nalipopo

My parent's friends do drink and dance and moved up north to Yankee land (as one of the moms called it). They don't really have expectations because well they have attended weddings with and without alcohol.






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Becky683

My fiancee and I had the same issue where he was strongly in favor of alcohol at the wedding reception and I was against it.  My family is very conservative and my parents had even stated that they would not pay a penny for the wedding or reception if there was alcohol at the reception.  I was okay with that as I didn't want alcohol at the reception in the first place.

My fiancee and I decided on an early afternoon wedding so there wouldn't be an expectation of alcohol and decided on a dry reception.  It's one of those decisions that you both have to come to agreement on and give reasons as to why each of you wants your choice.  

My logic was that people tend to get carried away and get plastered at weddings and I find that absolutely insulting and no way to celebrate another couple's wedding.  It just seems like their excuse to get hammered.  I also had friends who had been killed by drunk drivers and there was no way I was going to be any way responsible for someone being irresponsible for that behavior.  My fiancee decided that his reasons weren't as important as mine and agreed with my decision.  

It's a decision you both make and should come to agreement on.

erinlin25

check out costs with your venue so you can figure out what is most cost effective.  Our venue, we have to use their services (so no outside alcohol); and it was actually more affordable IMO to go that route (we are doing full open bar).  But at another venue we looked at their bar packages were outrageous!  So it varies,  but many venues will alow you to bring in outside alcohol (may add corkage fee) so sometimes it can be cheaper for you to buy the alcohol wholesale and have bartenders available to serve it.  Other people just do beer and wine/champagne and that is fine too.  I've been to "dry" wedding too-- was I bummed, sure, but did I still have fun, yes!  Since your FI wants it, I would say find a way to host something.

on another note, in terms of alcoholics, etc, If your venue is responsible for the liquor license then they will also be responsible for cutting people off, and if need be escorting people out.

kerrimur

Most of the wedding packages in my area include open bar for the cocktail hour. I've been to wedding that had cash bars, open bars, consumption bars, and just beer and wine were paid for by the host. I dont expect an open bar all night but I think the cocktail hour should at least be open bar.

KatWAG

We had a full bar with top shelf liquor, beers and champagne. I have never been to a dry wedding or a wedding with a cash bar.

kris10gr

We did an outdoor venue that allowed you to bring your own alcohol, so we did red and white wine and a few craft beers. We were on a budget also, so to save money, we did boxed wine (it has gotten considerably better over the years) and "disguised" it these great dispensers which fit the rustic theme of our wedding: https://www.etsy.com/listing/122270805/box-wine-barrel-dispenser-with-letters