Adult Reception help

terahmjava

Hey Ladies, I am looking for some etiquette help on this one.  We put "adult reception to follow" ont he invites, addressed them to parents only and FH's aunt wrote on the RSVP their names and the names of their kids and wrote a note about how excited she is we are including their whole family.  Is she on crack!

we are hosting a kids room for the reception and i was thinking of sending/calling her with this message:

"We are excited that you will be able to join us on this happy occasion!  We are hosting a kids room at a hotel nearby for the duration of the reception site for your added convenience and wanted to know if kid#1 and kid#2 have any food allergies or medical needs that need to be noted for the babysitters."

do you think it's polite but gets the point across?  or too vague since this lady is apprently unaware

Wiscisbliss

Maybe she does understand and was RSVPing for the wedding (like, all four of them are going to the ceremony)? 

I think your message is polite. 

terahmjava

That thought crossed my mind.  Ok I'll use my message I think it's informative without being aggressive.  thanks!

trix1223

I say you call her and say "I'm sorry, there seems to have been a misunderstanding.  The invitation to our wedding was just for you and Marge.  What's that?  You won't come without Bart, Lisa, and Maggie?  I'm so sorry.  You'll be missed!"

Your message doesn't say that the kids CAN'T come.  It merely suggests that they could stay at the other hotel.  I think you need to be more direct.

And FWIW:  Many parents, particularly those who have young children would never in a million years leave their children with a stranger in a hotel room. 

A big good luck to you.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_adult-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:46b6508c-33e5-4447-89a3-1259028fdfa7Post:e8588ea4-7baa-494a-8ae0-6cd31c4ffe3e">Adult Reception help</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey Ladies, I am looking for some etiquette help on this one.  We put "adult reception to follow" ont he invites, addressed them to parents only and FH's aunt wrote on the RSVP their names and the names of their kids and wrote a note about how excited she is we are including their whole family.  Is she on crack! we are hosting a kids room for the reception and i was thinking of sending/calling her with this message: "We are excited that you will be able to join us on this happy occasion!  We are hosting a kids room at a hotel nearby for the duration of the reception site for your added convenience and wanted to know if kid#1 and kid#2 have any food allergies or medical needs that need to be noted for the babysitters." do you think it's polite but gets the point across?  or too vague since this lady is apprently unaware
Posted by terahmjava[/QUOTE]

jessicabessica

I think that response is a little passive aggressive.  Be direct, and have a "we'll certainly miss you" response prepared if she says she won't come without the kids. 

tenofcups4me

It seems like there just might be some confusion since you say you're not inviting kids but are hosting a place for kids to stay. She might be responding for that? In any case, I think this is more a phone conversation than a note or email -- you might actually both already be saying the same thing.

MyNameIsNot

What Trix said.  You need to be direct.

I'm sorry for the confusion, but the invitation was for you and Mr. Uncle only.  Will the two of you still be attending the wedding?

I agree, hosting a kids' room at the reception is just going to confuse everyone.  

Heather8505

How do the guests know that there is a kid's room if the invite was just addressed to the parents and it says "adult reception"?

aegrish

I wouldnt leave young kids in a room with a babysitter I've never meet and kids they have probably never played with. I wouldnt think most parents would either...

If you're inviting kids to the reception, can't you have a craft/coloring table in the same room as the adults will be in?  or even just give the kids coloring books?  I've seen both done and it worked out wonderfully. Or just don't invite kids at all.

ESquared423

Ditto to PPs...I don't know many parents that would leave their children at another hotel with strangers watching them. Is there a room in the venue that your reception is being held where you can offer childcare? The whole "hotel nearby" thing just sketches me out.

aegrish

Oh gosh I didn't even read the part that the "room" was in a separate hotel.  I wouldn't even leave my kids in a room with stranger in the same hotel as me....OP please reconsider the whole kids at your wedding set up that you have planned right now!

NOLAbridealmost

Yeah, please try to be direct.  Passive-aggressiveness is never the best way. 

Cocnut0216

We're doing a similar thing for our wedding: no kids except FG and RB.

We have a lot of out of town guests some of whom will have to bring their kids.  Our hotel/ceremony/reception area is the same place so my fiancee and I are reserving one of the smaller hospitality suites for the kids who had to be brought along during the ceremony and reception and for the after party after the parents pick them up. 

I have on the wedding website, "The bride and groom respectfullly request that small children not attend.  If special accommodations are needed, please contact either the bride or groom" 

It's sad, because I love kids and the majority of the children are good: except my cousin's 3 girls who are the most spoiled, rude, and bratty monsters I have ever met.  at her sisters wedding ceremony one of them ran up to talk to yell at her mom(MoH)  because she wasn't paying attention to her.  One bad egg spoils the lot in my case. 

I agree with the other ladies, be direct about what you need that day, but also make sure you're being tactful.  I think your response is good, but i would outright ask "Were you RSVPing your children for the children's reception across the way?  There will be a babysiter, food, and games for them.  Please let me know if they have allergies or special needs if they are attending their reception."  You can end it by saying how excited you will be to see Aunt and Uncle at the wedding.