Wedding Reception Forum

Is it tacky to have a tip jar for your bartender?

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Re: Is it tacky to have a tip jar for your bartender?



  • Wait staff, including waitresses and bartenders, make their livings off of the courtesy of others. Although some do not understand why tipping is so important, please keep in mind some people support their families by serving others. If service is attentive, respectful, and pleasant, why not take care of them too? Guests are of course not forced to tip at any restaurant or occasion, but it is polite to. After all that one bartender is taking care of the people you love the most, your friends and family. Why would you keep someone who is working hard to serve you and your loved ones from making a few extra dollars? While your taking pictures, they serve. While your dancing, they serve. While your having a nice meal, they serve. Most places pay bartenders less than minimum wage. It doesn't get compensated for without a tip jar. Tips are a necessary. Please tip. Where ever you are. Every dollar counts for servers in that industry.

    You are absolutely right that servers and bartenders must live off tips.  Guests are always welcome to tip servers and bartenders, jar or not.

    Sometimes, the bartender will make out ok with a tip jar, sometimes they make $1-2 per drink order (usually less than 10%).  A responsible, decent host will tip the bartender 20% of the entire bar tab at the end of the night.  

    Even after 2 years, it's still rude for the hosts to push this responsibility off on the guests.  





    A tip jar optional if guests want to tip or not so that is not "putting the responsibilty on guests". If u dont want to tip, dont.
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  • Jen4948 said:



    Wait staff, including waitresses and bartenders, make their livings off of the courtesy of others. Although some do not understand why tipping is so important, please keep in mind some people support their families by serving others. If service is attentive, respectful, and pleasant, why not take care of them too? Guests are of course not forced to tip at any restaurant or occasion, but it is polite to. After all that one bartender is taking care of the people you love the most, your friends and family. Why would you keep someone who is working hard to serve you and your loved ones from making a few extra dollars? While your taking pictures, they serve. While your dancing, they serve. While your having a nice meal, they serve. Most places pay bartenders less than minimum wage. It doesn't get compensated for without a tip jar. Tips are a necessary. Please tip. Where ever you are. Every dollar counts for servers in that industry.

    The wedding itself is not a restaurant.  The hosts are paying, presumably with a contract, that outlines a gratuity for the wait staff, so there is no need for tip jars at a wedding.

    Nor should the guests at a wedding ever be expected to pay for anything at the wedding out of their own pockets, and that includes tips.


    Putting a tip jar isnt an expectation of guests to tip. It's purely optional and up to them whether they want to or not. No one is putting a gun to anyone's head demanding they tip.

    I would not side eye this at all. I just wouldnt tip if I didnt feel like it, thats it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I had a tip jar when I played piano at a bar and restaurant.  No way would I put out a tip jar if I played for a wedding!  Ew!
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  • My bartender will receive a $75 flat fee +15% of the total bar tab per our contract. My future in laws have budgeted $2500 for the bar, so that is $375. The bartender will thus make a minimum of $450 for 5 hours worth of work. I really feel that is sufficient, and I have never made that much $ per hour in my life. The bartender will be able to accept tips from guests, but I will not allow him or her to have a jar out. I'm quite certain that they will leave my wedding happy with the evening's earnings.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Zombie thread or not, what is with people saying 'what do I do with the money I want to tip if there isn't a tip jar"? 

    UM, leave it on the bar, just as you would in any other regular night at the bar. Seriously?

    No one is saying you can't tip the bartender if you want to, but the tip jar out makes it seem like they are expecting tips. 
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    AddieCaketheartistformerlyknownasLDay2014Blue_Bird
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Wait staff, including waitresses and bartenders, make their livings off of the courtesy of others. Although some do not understand why tipping is so important, please keep in mind some people support their families by serving others. If service is attentive, respectful, and pleasant, why not take care of them too? Guests are of course not forced to tip at any restaurant or occasion, but it is polite to. After all that one bartender is taking care of the people you love the most, your friends and family. Why would you keep someone who is working hard to serve you and your loved ones from making a few extra dollars? While your taking pictures, they serve. While your dancing, they serve. While your having a nice meal, they serve. Most places pay bartenders less than minimum wage. It doesn't get compensated for without a tip jar. Tips are a necessary. Please tip. Where ever you are. Every dollar counts for servers in that industry.
    The wedding itself is not a restaurant.  The hosts are paying, presumably with a contract, that outlines a gratuity for the wait staff, so there is no need for tip jars at a wedding.

    Nor should the guests at a wedding ever be expected to pay for anything at the wedding out of their own pockets, and that includes tips.
    Putting a tip jar isnt an expectation of guests to tip. It's purely optional and up to them whether they want to or not. No one is putting a gun to anyone's head demanding they tip. I would not side eye this at all. I just wouldnt tip if I didnt feel like it, thats it.
    The "nobody's putting a gun to anyone's head" is a BS argument about not doing anything that's not right.  Why the hell put out a tip jar if it's "purely optional" ?  Obviously it's to induce guests to tip.  That's not their job-only the hosts should be tipping the waitstaff and it should be part of the contract with the venue.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Zombie thread or not, what is with people saying 'what do I do with the money I want to tip if there isn't a tip jar"? 

    UM, leave it on the bar, just as you would in any other regular night at the bar. Seriously?

    No one is saying you can't tip the bartender if you want to, but the tip jar out makes it seem like they are expecting tips. 
    Exactly! Lack of tip jar renders people helpless and clueless? Good grief. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    AddieCake said:
    Zombie thread or not, what is with people saying 'what do I do with the money I want to tip if there isn't a tip jar"? 

    UM, leave it on the bar, just as you would in any other regular night at the bar. Seriously?

    No one is saying you can't tip the bartender if you want to, but the tip jar out makes it seem like they are expecting tips. 
    Exactly! Lack of tip jar renders people helpless and clueless? Good grief. 
    Same reason people think their guests will be clueless about gifting them cash if they don't ask for cash in the invitation or give them a honeyfund to contribute to. 

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    AddieCake said:
    Zombie thread or not, what is with people saying 'what do I do with the money I want to tip if there isn't a tip jar"? 

    UM, leave it on the bar, just as you would in any other regular night at the bar. Seriously?

    No one is saying you can't tip the bartender if you want to, but the tip jar out makes it seem like they are expecting tips. 
    Exactly! Lack of tip jar renders people helpless and clueless? Good grief. 
    Same reason people think their guests will be clueless about gifting them cash if they don't ask for cash in the invitation or give them a honeyfund to contribute to. 

    Ahhhh, yes.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • If you go to any bar/restaurant or nightclub (at least in my area) there usually are no tip jars on the bar. One place I used to work had a tip jar at the coat check because it was free to check your coat, and there was a tip jar at the cover desk if you wanted to tip the cover girl. Bartenders keep their tip jars behind the bar beside the till/cash register so they can separate the tips out from the cost of actual drinks sold. Even though there is no jar out, they always get tips. I see it as no different at a wedding. Yes, the host should be tipping 15-20% regardless, but I seriously side-eye people who do not tip after working in the industry for so long. Sure, it's not required or expected, but it's a courtesy and if there is 1 bartender for 100 people it's safe to say he/she is doing a damn good job. I could not walk away from a bar without tipping, honestly, and would never want to be someone that would. They shouldn't need a tip jar, it just diminishes the interaction with guests, while giving them the money directly gives them a chance to express their gratitude. If you can't interact and provide good customer service, you have no business being a bartender.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If you go to any bar/restaurant or nightclub (at least in my area) there usually are no tip jars on the bar. One place I used to work had a tip jar at the coat check because it was free to check your coat, and there was a tip jar at the cover desk if you wanted to tip the cover girl. Bartenders keep their tip jars behind the bar beside the till/cash register so they can separate the tips out from the cost of actual drinks sold. Even though there is no jar out, they always get tips. I see it as no different at a wedding. Yes, the host should be tipping 15-20% regardless, but I seriously side-eye people who do not tip after working in the industry for so long. Sure, it's not required or expected, but it's a courtesy and if there is 1 bartender for 100 people it's safe to say he/she is doing a damn good job. I could not walk away from a bar without tipping, honestly, and would never want to be someone that would. They shouldn't need a tip jar, it just diminishes the interaction with guests, while giving them the money directly gives them a chance to express their gratitude. If you can't interact and provide good customer service, you have no business being a bartender.
    Look, the guests are not "customers" of the restaurant or venue when they attend weddings there.  It is not their job to pay the waitstaff or any of the other costs of the hospitality they receive.  So putting out tip jars in order to induce them to pay you is inappropriate.  That job belongs to the hosts.
  • A tip is a gift, not a payment. And I did say they shouldn't need a tip jar. Tipping is nobody's 'job' or responsibility, it is a courtesy. I don't care if the hosts tipped the guy/girl a million dollars, I would feel like a colossal douche not tipping the guy/girl. I have worked banquets as well (weddings, private functions) tips are always given. Nobody has to give them, but it is courteous and generous to do so.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    A tip is a gift, not a payment. And I did say they shouldn't need a tip jar. Tipping is nobody's 'job' or responsibility, it is a courtesy. I don't care if the hosts tipped the guy/girl a million dollars, I would feel like a colossal douche not tipping the guy/girl. I have worked banquets as well (weddings, private functions) tips are always given. Nobody has to give them, but it is courteous and generous to do so.
    For the hosts, yes.  But guests should not be expected to tip, tip jar or no.
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