Money tree alternatives

princessjb5

My fiancee and I are wanting a wedding tree but want to do something different. Any suggestions?

FutureMrsPaulG

I'm unsure of what a money tree is exactly but if it some kind of way to ask your guests for cash, I'd shy away from something like that. Tell you WP and family that you are not registered and are saving for.... Or create a super small registry of upgrades like sheets and towels. Your guests will get the hint. Most "alternative" registries ( cash registries, honeymoon regestries, wishing wells, etc) are out of favor on this site so you may not get too many positive alternative suggestions. Good luck,

MyNameIsNot

The alternative is to not have a money tree.  

Don't ask your guests for money, or for anything.  Asking for gifts is rude.  

Rachel405

Hmmmmm.

Piggy bank on every table?

Placecards that include your bank and routing number?

LeiselEB

Okay, someone tell me what a money tree is. I've seen this term pop up so much lately and can't figure out an actual answer. Is it a tree that guests hang cash from? That's what I'm picturing, haha

melntaitt

@Leslie: From what I googled, it's a plant of some sort where cash is pinned. I'm not sure how to make it look "untacky" because guests are not supposed to be asked for money.

missfrodo

I looked it up and it IS exactly a tree that guests hang money on.  

Why not do a guest book tree/wishing tree, where guests write their names and a wish for the couple on paper "leaves" and attach them to the tree?  They can be really cute/pretty.  I did a search and found this, which is the same idea: http://www.mydiyweddingday.com/2009/04/real-wedding-inspiration-guest-book-tree.html

alithebride

skip anything that asks your guests to give you more cash and just accept whatever gifts they give you as wedding/shower/engagement gifts.

amyb140

Can I just have a money tree on my desk at work?  That's what I'd like.  I could use some extra cash right now.

lisa3185

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_money-tree-alternatives?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:52d4ebc9-1a26-4d0e-a537-36bf8fb0deccPost:3a774fb6-a9bd-4707-a2d2-2cb59a250cad">Re: Money tree alternatives</a>:
[QUOTE]I looked it up and it IS exactly a tree that guests hang money on.   <strong>Why not do a guest book tree/wishing tree, where guests write their names and a wish for the couple on paper "leaves" and attach them to the tree?</strong>  They can be really cute/pretty.  I did a search and found this, which is the same idea:  <a href="http://www.mydiyweddingday.com/2009/04/real-wedding-inspiration-guest-book-tree.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.mydiyweddingday.com/2009/04/real-wedding-inspiration-guest-book-tree.html</a>
Posted by missfrodo[/QUOTE]

Awesome idea!  That would be a great alternative to a "money tree."

lisa3185

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_money-tree-alternatives?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:52d4ebc9-1a26-4d0e-a537-36bf8fb0deccPost:8429faaa-bf38-4c47-90b0-3de477099bd5">Money tree alternatives</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiancee and I are wanting a wedding tree but want to do something different. Any suggestions?
Posted by princessjb5[/QUOTE]

What exactly are your expectations for the wedding tree??
If you are in fact looking for a creative way to ask for cash...there are none!
PLS dont do it.

em01092

I like the wishes/suggestion tree. Do that instead, and don't hit your guests up for money. If they want to give to you, they will on their own. 

LeiselEB

Oh my goodness. 

The "wishes" tree sound adorable, I've seen that done and it was very cute. Yeah, please don't have guests hang cash on a tree. Ew.

amandalee0830

you could do the dollar dance.  Where people give a dollar to dance with the bride/groom for one song.  it would get people out there dancing and give you a few seconds with diffrent guests. And i would stick with a small registry and maybe have your friends and family spread around that you would like cash when asked what to get you.

amyb140

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_money-tree-alternatives?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:52d4ebc9-1a26-4d0e-a537-36bf8fb0deccPost:324c3f8f-a4e2-4058-8ad9-a0a6b43a4204">Re: Money tree alternatives</a>:
[QUOTE]you could do the dollar dance.  Where people give a dollar to dance with the bride/groom for one song.  it would get people out there dancing and give you a few seconds with diffrent guests. And i would stick with a small registry and maybe have your friends and family spread around that you would like cash when asked what to get you.
Posted by amandalee0830[/QUOTE]
And how exactly is the dollar dance different than the money tree???  They're both asking people to give you cash.

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_money-tree-alternatives?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:52d4ebc9-1a26-4d0e-a537-36bf8fb0deccPost:324c3f8f-a4e2-4058-8ad9-a0a6b43a4204">Re: Money tree alternatives</a>:
[QUOTE]you could do the dollar dance.  Where people give a dollar to dance with the bride/groom for one song.  it would get people out there dancing and give you a few seconds with diffrent guests. And i would stick with a small registry and maybe have your friends and family spread around that you would like cash when asked what to get you.
Posted by amandalee0830[/QUOTE]
OH yes, and then while you're dancing you can pickpocket them for more cash!  And why not have the BMs offer lapdances for money?  

alithebride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_money-tree-alternatives?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:52d4ebc9-1a26-4d0e-a537-36bf8fb0deccPost:324c3f8f-a4e2-4058-8ad9-a0a6b43a4204">Re: Money tree alternatives</a>:
[QUOTE]you could do the dollar dance.  Where people give a dollar to dance with the bride/groom for one song.  it would get people out there dancing and give you a few seconds with diffrent guests. And i would stick with a small registry and maybe have your friends and family spread around that you would like cash when asked what to get you.
Posted by amandalee0830[/QUOTE]

good music gets guests dancing. make time during the reception to visit each table and speak toy our guests, don't make them pay for it. crap that's tacky!

amandalee0830

I believe that the point was to ask for alternative ways to ask for money. Something like a money tree.  So I gave her an idea of something like a money tree.  I didn't jump on the bandwagon with the rest of you to dis her idea and tell her she's wrong to do something like this.  I have done both a money tree and dollar dance and was never offended.  And some of you need to get off your high horse.  It's 2012.  Most people already live together and have most of what they need already.  Cash is not a new thing.  We all ask for it for birthdays and holiday gifts all the time.  I'm sure your family and friends won’t think you’re a horrible person for saying "hey, I have most of my kitchen, bath and living things already; money would help me out with a honeymoon or to by other things need in the future."  You guys are ridiculous.  I bet you all think you must wear heals and a veil and give favors.  We'll it is each one of your own wedding and I say do it how you want it.  Don't ask these people, just do it.  Who gave them the right to tell you what you should do at your wedding.

Nicholettemtz

Well said Amanda!!! I completely agree with you! Some people just have no tact and can be so rude.
She was asking for opinions, not for you to jump down her throat and be so mean! I've been to dollar dances before and its a fun touch. Thats an opinion, Im not saying anyone is wrong here, you can give your opinion without being rude!

QueerFemme

I have been to weddings with a money tree, and a dollar dance.  It has been tradition for MANY MANY MANY years.  Am I saying that tradition should always be continued, not really.  But, I know in some families... it is expected.  My fiance's family has already asked me how I'm going to do the dollar dance, because my dress is chiffon and isn't really a good fabric to be pinning dollars on.   I told them I wasn't planning to have a dollar dance... and many people were shocked !  "Everyone has a dollar dance!"    

So, I am not planning to do it... but, I don't think we should automatically assume that guests will be offended by having a money tree or dollar dance.  In many circles, it is not only NOT offensive, it is expected. 

MiksChick23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_money-tree-alternatives?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:52d4ebc9-1a26-4d0e-a537-36bf8fb0deccPost:29bb9d5e-efe7-4e25-a896-712e5d8341d7">Re: Money tree alternatives</a>:
[QUOTE]I have been to weddings with a money tree, and a dollar dance.  It has been tradition for MANY MANY MANY years.  Am I saying that tradition should always be continued, not really.  But, I know in some families... it is expected.  <strong>My fiance's family has already asked me how I'm going to do the dollar dance, because my dress is chiffon and isn't really a good fabric to be pinning dollars on.   </strong>I told them I wasn't planning to have a dollar dance... and many people were shocked !  "Everyone has a dollar dance!"     So, I am not planning to do it... but, I don't think we should automatically assume that guests will be offended by having a money tree or dollar dance.  In many circles, it is not only NOT offensive, it is expected. 
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

I am not condoning or dissing a dollar dance, but I have never seen one where they actually PIN money onto the bride?! That just makes it tackier. Usually the MOH and BM hold baskets and the guests form a line and throw their money into the basket....

QueerFemme

i have actually seen them pin the money to the bride...  the MOH or BM holds pins and hands them out when the guests line up to dance with the bride/groom.  That part, I find absolutely ridiculous. 

Bookishtype202

I think we can be constructive and honest without actually being unkind. And just because there's no technical violation of forum rules doesn't mean we can't make an effort to be gracious in our responses. It's what I hope people would do for me. A lot of us are doing this for the first time and do not necessarily go in knowing what we're doing. It's kind of a leap of faith asking strangers for help like this and we're all sort of in this together so a little understainding would be nice. 

I wouldn't do a Dollar Dance myself, but I've been at a couple of weddings that did it and no one seemed offended--I think it was intended more of a lighthearted break than seriously about the money. I think it's all about the tone. At the ones I was at it was played off like a game, almost. Between a money tree or a dollar dance, I'd go with the dance. 

Etiquette-wise, it's true that you should try to avoid asking guests/invitees for money/gifts directly. Under the circumstances, most people will be moved to contribute/help in some way/acknowledge the event on their own, and those who aren't most likely can't, or they don't know you very well and therefore it kind of amount to the same thing. Your best and most tactful approach is to make the most of your registries. What were you hoping to use the money for? You don't have to tell us, just know for yourself. Really evaluate what you need and don't just go scanner gun crazy. I know people who included gift cards in the registry--open amounts--so I guess that could be an option. I've also read in a few wedding magazines about people including the honeymoon somehow, or aspects of it. This is a thing now--I don't remember how this was managed but you could probably look it up. So there's even a way to get help with even that.

Sometimes people may really want to give something but are stuck because they can't afford bigger things on registries and the little things don't feel interesting or meaningful enough. Maybe that's who you were thinking of with the money tree originally--to give those people something. An option that we're thinking of is to include a charitable organization among our registries---some organization that means a lot to us. We're both librarians, so many an educational organization that supports literacy or schools. That way people can give whatever kind of gift--even a few dollars--and know that it's going towards something important and personal. Obviously the best gift for any of us is having our guests come to the wedding, but there really are some people that need fo feel like they've done something more concrete than that and as a bride I know once said, "we realized that for some people, *not* giving them a chance to help would be a kind of cruelty."  This way everyone wins.

princessjb5

The main reason I asked was because my parents had done it at their wedding. And suggested it to us. I had no idea it would be such a big deal. When you go to a wedding, its usually expected that you need to bring a present or cash to give to the bride and groom. If you don't, then who cares. 

kkaura

Has anyone actually read Emily Post/Peggy Post's wedding etiquette? Because I have - MANY times (because I am a wedding coordinator). 

1,. Traditionally it is inappropriate to request money.

2. Times are changing and many people already have all the stuff they need.

3. If you need money don't ask for it - ever (if you want to follow etiquette - you are a grown person, do what you want). Leave your registry blank. People will either figure it out or they will ask - hopefully someone other than you, perhaps someone in your wedding party who can say "they're trying to save money for new furniture or a honeymoon or whatever."

4. Some cultures do dictate requests of money. That IS the polite thing to do (crazy right that there are other cultures on this site?)

5. Why are people so mean? You can disagree without being a snob. Your words on this site is far more rude than any money tree at a wedding.