never f'ing mind....LOL

ebonienicole

thanks for no help................

HobokensFury

I think you already had your wedding 3 weeks ago.  What's tacky is having a do over pretty princess day.

JoanE2012

The only day it's appropriate to have a wedding reception is on the day of the actual wedding ceremony.  It's basically your thank you to your guests for attending your ceremony.

If you wanted to have a reception, you should've saved up your money (like most everyone else) and gotten married when you could've afforded everything. 

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_is-it-tacky-to-not-have-a-traditional-family-style-dining-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:55febbde-b608-4e0a-a1b5-e2680ea676f7Post:8c6ece5f-2c0d-41e2-8dc6-51ea1e4824ad">never f'ing mind....LOL</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks for no help................
Posted by ebonienicole[/QUOTE]

<div>You seemed to be concerned about being tacky in your OP, so I think people did help you by pointing out things that are tacky about your idea.</div>

Knottie1450123632

wtf she deleted the OP lol YOU ARE MARRIED CANT REMARRY UNLESS DIVORCE FIRST ugggg

alishaloo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_is-it-tacky-to-not-have-a-traditional-family-style-dining-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:55febbde-b608-4e0a-a1b5-e2680ea676f7Post:8c6ece5f-2c0d-41e2-8dc6-51ea1e4824ad">never f'ing mind....LOL</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks for no help................
Posted by ebonienicole[/QUOTE]

If you can't have the wedidng of your dreams and can't wait to get married waiting is smart I think- its better then settling! My friend did that and is bummed.
I am kinda too cause we talked about getting married legally for religous reasons and financial and then throwin the wedding in a year or so-

my idea/advice- have a vow renewal ceremony and have your party then it can be exactly like the wedding only with out i do's cause you already did=]  you could be cute and say I still do!

ITS YOUR DAY
ITS YOUR LIFE
DO WHAT YOU WANT!

if no one knows you got married go ahead and just keep it that way and have a fake do over wedidng or something- I know to me just signing the paper wouldn't mean anything unless my dad had walked me down the isle given me away and the whole shabang.

Do what works for you.

Gabrielle76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_is-it-tacky-to-not-have-a-traditional-family-style-dining-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:55febbde-b608-4e0a-a1b5-e2680ea676f7Post:63de0ca9-b12b-4cc5-bc45-e3f47f8d9d73">Re: never f'ing mind....LOL</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to never f'ing mind....LOL : If you can't have the wedidng of your dreams and can't wait to get married waiting is smart I think- its better then settling! My friend did that and is bummed. I am kinda too cause we talked about getting married legally for religous reasons and financial and then throwin the wedding in a year or so- my idea/advice- have a vow renewal ceremony and have your party then it can be exactly like the wedding only with out i do's cause you already did=]  you could be cute and say I still do! ITS YOUR DAY ITS YOUR LIFE DO WHAT YOU WANT!<strong> if no one knows you got married go ahead and just keep it that way and have a fake do over wedidng or something</strong>- I know to me just signing the paper wouldn't mean anything unless my dad had walked me down the isle given me away and the whole shabang. Do what works for you.
Posted by alishaloo[/QUOTE]

You mean <em>lie</em> and invite her guests to travel and give gifts for a shame wedding?

HobokensFury

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_is-it-tacky-to-not-have-a-traditional-family-style-dining-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:55febbde-b608-4e0a-a1b5-e2680ea676f7Post:63de0ca9-b12b-4cc5-bc45-e3f47f8d9d73">Re: never f'ing mind....LOL</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to never f'ing mind....LOL : If you can't have the wedidng of your dreams and can't wait to get married waiting is smart I think- its better then settling! My friend did that and is bummed. I am kinda too cause we talked about getting married legally for religous reasons and financial and then throwin the wedding in a year or so- my idea/advice- have a vow renewal ceremony and have your party then it can be exactly like the wedding only with out i do's cause you already did=]  you could be cute and say I still do! ITS YOUR DAY ITS YOUR LIFE DO WHAT YOU WANT! if no one knows you got married go ahead and just keep it that way and have a fake do over wedidng or something- I know to me just signing the paper wouldn't mean anything unless my dad had walked me down the isle given me away and the whole shabang. Do what works for you.
Posted by alishaloo[/QUOTE]

This is some of the worst advice I've ever read here.

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_is-it-tacky-to-not-have-a-traditional-family-style-dining-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:55febbde-b608-4e0a-a1b5-e2680ea676f7Post:63de0ca9-b12b-4cc5-bc45-e3f47f8d9d73">Re: never f'ing mind....LOL</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to never f'ing mind....LOL : If you can't have the wedidng of your dreams and can't wait to get married waiting is smart I think- its better then settling! My friend did that and is bummed. I am kinda too cause we talked about getting married legally for religous reasons and financial and then throwin the wedding in a year or so- my idea/advice- have a vow renewal ceremony and have your party then it can be exactly like the wedding only with out i do's cause you already did=]  you could be cute and say I still do! ITS YOUR DAY ITS YOUR LIFE DO WHAT YOU WANT!<strong> if no one knows you got married go ahead and just keep it that way and have a fake do over wedidng or something</strong>- I know to me just signing the paper wouldn't mean anything unless my dad had walked me down the isle given me away and the whole shabang. Do what works for you.
Posted by alishaloo[/QUOTE]

This is awful.  You must not have much respect for your family members and friends that you would con them into thinking you were getting married when you already were.

We all want things.  Sometimes we can't have them NOW.  Grow up, be a responsible adult, save your money and have a proper wedding when you can afford one.

PS - It's aisle, not isle.  Unless you're having your father walk you down an island.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_is-it-tacky-to-not-have-a-traditional-family-style-dining-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:55febbde-b608-4e0a-a1b5-e2680ea676f7Post:63de0ca9-b12b-4cc5-bc45-e3f47f8d9d73">Re: never f'ing mind....LOL</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to never f'ing mind....LOL : If you can't have the wedidng of your dreams and can't wait to get married waiting is smart I think- its better then settling! My friend did that and is bummed. I am kinda too cause we talked about getting married legally for religous reasons and financial and then throwin the wedding in a year or so- my idea/advice- have a vow renewal ceremony and have your party then it can be exactly like the wedding only with out i do's cause you already did=]  you could be cute and say I still do! ITS YOUR DAY ITS YOUR LIFE DO WHAT YOU WANT! if no one knows you got married go ahead and just keep it that way and have a fake do over wedidng or something- I know to me just signing the paper wouldn't mean anything unless my dad had walked me down the isle given me away and the whole shabang. Do what works for you.
Posted by alishaloo[/QUOTE]

I wish I could be shocked by this but you have proven that you are the uncontested queen of doling out crappy as all hell advice.  You should put a general warning as your siggy that the wise thing to do would be the exact opposite of what you advocate.

panda3677

Hum.. I wouldnt go forward with this. Maybe have a large party a year later n invite everyone for a "family get to gether" but not a wedding or a vow renewal.

My bf and her HB due to religion/spiritual beliefs got married in the eyes of the state/law on friday the day before the wedding and had their wedding ceremony the next day. At wedding ceremony they got married in the eyes of their family, friends and spiritual beliefs. So I understand getting legally married and then sharing your wedding with your family and friends. I just wouldnt push it off a year n do a "Redo".

If you got married 3+ weeks ago, it is what it is.

There are situations that this would be ok (to push off reception, not have a do over). Such as deployment.  If my FH gets called for active duty n gets deployed we have both agreed to get married before he leaves. That means ditching all the pretty pretty (n most likely the honeymoon) n going to the jp's office if there is no time to pull a wedding together. An either have a reception (if there is time) before he leaves or after he comes home. But we wouldnt have a wedding do over. If we had to push the reception off till after he returned home we would not ask for any gifts. Just to come and celebrate his return home, our family being whole again and to remember why we got married (our love for each other).

Best of luck, I know the advice isn't what you had hoped for.

curiousgeorgette

Wow!  I think a lot of the responses to this are awfully harsh.  I know a few people who have had to get married for legal/financial reasons much sooner than they had planned -- one needed a visa for his wife before she was deported; another lost her job and had no insurance and so she married her fiance to get on his insurance.  They still wanted to celebrate their marriage with friends and family, though, and I don't think that is rude or selfish or inappropriate at all!!  One of the couples had a larger celebration for family and friends several months after their legal union; I don't know about the other.  

In any case, the OP doesn't say much about the circumstances surrounding her marriage, and I think it's a bit unfair to jump to conclusions about them.  It seems unreasonable to say she should be denied a chance to celebrate her union with family and friends just because she is already legally married.

curiousgeorgette

. . . And when I say "much sooner than planned" I mean "within a few weeks" -- definitely not enough time to plan for a wedding, much less pay for one!  So they really weren't able to invite family and friends to come celebrate -- especially because (for the couple who married for insurance reasons) both the bride and groom's immediate and extended family were from out-of-state.

ladyomnipotent

It's so depressing how people consider the bells the whistles "the real wedding."  The actual act of getting married doesn't cut it.  Talk about backwards!

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_is-it-tacky-to-not-have-a-traditional-family-style-dining-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:55febbde-b608-4e0a-a1b5-e2680ea676f7Post:549fed92-12d5-447a-904f-25c567215580">Re: never f'ing mind....LOL</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow!  I think a lot of the responses to this are awfully harsh.  I know a few people who have had to get married for legal/financial reasons much sooner than they had planned -- one needed a visa for his wife before she was deported; another lost her job and had no insurance and so she married her fiance to get on his insurance.  <strong>They still wanted to celebrate their marriage with friends and family, though, and I don't think that is rude or selfish or inappropriate at all!!</strong>  One of the couples had a larger celebration for family and friends several months after their legal union; I don't know about the other.   In any case, the OP doesn't say much about the circumstances surrounding her marriage, and I think it's a bit unfair to jump to conclusions about them.  It seems unreasonable to say she should be denied a chance to celebrate her union with family and friends just because she is already legally married.
Posted by curiousgeorgette[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>There's a huge difference between planning a party to celebrate your marriage with family and friends who were unable to attend, and planning a do-over wedding where you lie to everyone about the fact that you're already married.</div><div>
</div><div>If you want to celebrate, awesome!  You should, a new marriage is definitely a good reason to throw a party.  But it is NOT a wedding.  A wedding is when you get married, therefore, it is impossible to have a 'wedding' when you are already married.</div><div>
</div><div>But a kick-ass party is always welcome.  It's totally cool to have good food, good drinks, good music and celebrate your recent marriage.  Just don't try to pretend it's a wedding.  Being an adult means dealing with the consequences of your choices.  If you chose to get married sooner than planned, that's fine, but that means that you forfeit the appropriateness of a PPD.  </div><div>
</div><div>I mean, of course, you <em>can</em> do it, but it doesn't mean you should.  It comes off as really tacky, immature, and gift grabby.  But hey, if that's the type of person you are, then by all means, throw a fake wedding, just don't complain when people side-eye you for it.

</div>