Help with a closed reception

dmitch1980

I need help as to how to word invitations for an open wedding and a closed reception.  I have a large family, and a lot of church family to invite to the wedding.  I want to invite everyone to the ceremony, but only a few to the reception.  I need help with wording the ivties without making anyone feel left out.

JoanE2012

Ummm, yeah, you can't do it.  Big no no.  A reception is your "thank you" to your guests for attending the ceremony.  If you can't invite them to the reception, don't invite them to the ceremony.

HobokensFury

You can't find the proper wording because it doesn't exist! It's rude and tacky.  Everyone must be invited to both the ceremony and reception.  Either cut your guest list so you can afford everyone or hold a simpler reception like cake and punch.

m tulli

what PP said.  It's like saying I want your gift but your not as important as my other guest.  I know budgets are tough.  Everyone makes hard cuts to their guest list.  But you really are better off not to offend anyone even if that isn't your intent.

ChristineNB

Yeah if I was invited to a wedding ceremony but not a reception I just wouldn't attend.  It would become obvious enough that I wasn't a good enough friend to celebrate with you. 

Host the wedding reception you can afford for all of your guests to attend, or cut your ceremony guest list down.  You can have just cake and punch or just appitizers, it doesn't have to be a massive party.

QueerFemme

Agree with everyone else.  there is NO way to do this without being rude.  Either figure out a way to budget everyone in the reception, or cut your guest list to only those you can properly host for BOTH the ceremony & reception.

It makes you look gift grabby and incredibly tacky.

jmp2004

There's no way to actually do this.  

I do know some churches, however, have a standing policy that weddings are open and any member can attend the ceremony with the understanding that they are not invited guests.  So if you are having the ceremony and everything at your home church, members would be able to attend without an invitation.

calliopeia2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_help-with-a-closed-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:575de9f3-4adb-4bac-828c-476a62ecd198Post:e24be94b-f8c0-4773-8f6a-86385a10d906">Re: Help with a closed reception</a>:
[QUOTE]There's no way to actually do this.   I do know some churches, however, have a standing policy that weddings are open and any member can attend the ceremony with the understanding that they are not invited guests.  So if you are having the ceremony and everything at your home church, members would be able to attend without an invitation.
Posted by jmp2004[/QUOTE]


This.  What you do is not send invitations to the church family that you want to come to the ceremony but not the reception.  You can post something in your church bulletin alerting them to when the ceremony is, but you can't "invite" them formally, because ALL invited guests must be properly hosted at a reception.

NOLAbridealmost

You can't do this. Anyone who receives an invitation from you must be invited to both the ceremony and the reception.  This obviously does not include churches that allow all congregants to come watch ceremonies without being invited by the couple.

Helsy85

I agree you should not do this. But, i have been to a wedding where some other friends of mine were only invited to the ceremony and their invitation simply said "Ceremony Only". I thought it was rude, but if you are going to do it.. thats a way.

cwill6212

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_help-with-a-closed-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:575de9f3-4adb-4bac-828c-476a62ecd198Post:e23b3b79-6bb2-4630-beb3-bdb25d7c9b39">Help with a closed reception</a>:
[QUOTE] <strong>I want to invite everyone to the ceremony, but only a few to the reception.</strong>  I need help with wording the ivties without making anyone feel left out.
Posted by dmitch1980[/QUOTE]

Seriously!? What is wrong with people's mentality and thinking this type of thing is acceptable? Would YOU like to be invited to a ceremony but excluded from the reception?! Think about it... put yourself in the shoes of your guests... Rude, no other word for it.

Summer2011Bride

No can do. Guests get an invitation to ALL of it or none of it. You can't choose what they attend; it is horribly rude. You can either cut your guest list to BOTH the ceremony and reception, or invite everybody to both and find other ways to cut back on budget (host only a cake and punch recception, have the wedding on a Sunday when prices are usually cheaper, DIY centerpieces, flowers, etc.) There are many good ideas on the Budget Board if you decide to go with the second option. What you are proposing is not an option at all.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_help-with-a-closed-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:575de9f3-4adb-4bac-828c-476a62ecd198Post:e23b3b79-6bb2-4630-beb3-bdb25d7c9b39">Help with a closed reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I need help as to how to word invitations for an open wedding and a closed reception.  I have a large family, and a lot of church family to invite to the wedding.  I want to invite everyone to the ceremony, but only a few to the reception. <strong> I need help with wording the ivties without making anyone feel left out.</strong>
Posted by dmitch1980[/QUOTE]

How about this.....:

<em>Together with their families

DMitch and DMitch's FI

Request the honour of your presense at their wedding on
This day of This month of This year

Reception to follow, but not for you, because you aren't important enough to us for us to feed you and celebrate with you.  We only invited you so you'll give us a gift, so after we say "I Do", you can get the f*ck out and go screw yourselves, because that's basically what we mean when we asked you to get all dressed up, drive all the way down here, and then leave while we go party with the people we actually care about.</em>


^^That's pretty much the only appropriate way to word this type of invitation.  It's rude as f*ck, but so is what you are planning to do, so you might as well go all out and let everyone know from the get go that you are planning to just screw them over...at least that way, they won't waste their time.

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_help-with-a-closed-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:575de9f3-4adb-4bac-828c-476a62ecd198Post:be7ca48c-a906-4bc1-93ca-001812bb9512">Re: Help with a closed reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree you should not do this. But, i have been to a wedding where some other friends of mine were only invited to the ceremony and their invitation simply said "Ceremony Only". I thought it was rude, but if you are going to do it.. <strong>thats a way</strong>.
Posted by Helsy85[/QUOTE]

No, it's not a way.  It's completely unacceptable.  You even admitted it was rude.  Why would you suggest that to someone else?

Cortney1982

Only invite those you can host afterwards.  Seems like a cake and punch reception would be appropriate for your situation.  Wouldn't you want to celebrate with everybody who came to your wedding?  I couldn't imagine leaving anybody out because I wanted a fancy schmancy reception and could only afford a select few.

cwill6212

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_help-with-a-closed-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:575de9f3-4adb-4bac-828c-476a62ecd198Post:9c043154-9dfb-48d9-be28-9343a018ce8e">Re: Help with a closed reception</a>:
[QUOTE] Reception to follow, but not for you, because you aren't important enough to us for us to feed you and celebrate with you.  We only invited you so you'll give us a gift, so after we say "I Do", you can get the f*ck out and go screw yourselves, because that's basically what we mean when we asked you to get all dressed up, drive all the way down here, and then leave while we go party with the people we actually care about.Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

I couldn't have said it better!

dmitch1980

I just simply asked a question.  BTW I have been intied to weddings were everyone wasn't invited to the reception.  People have different budgets and different requirements. I don't see it as rude or tacky. But hey, you do your wedding your way, and I'll do mine my way. Good luck to all of you.

abbitha7

Agreed with everyone else. Personally, I find the ceremony to be the less exciting part of the wedding, while the reception is where it's at. So if you invited me to your ceremony and not the reception, especially if I had to travel more than 15 minutes to get there, I wouldn't show.

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_help-with-a-closed-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:575de9f3-4adb-4bac-828c-476a62ecd198Post:10c0cbe1-a0f2-4ea2-be20-76fe30e0f38c">Re: Help with a closed reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I just simply asked a question.  BTW I have been intied to weddings were everyone wasn't invited to the reception.  People have different budgets and different requirements. I don't see it as rude or tacky. But hey, you do your wedding your way, and I'll do mine my way. Good luck to all of you.
Posted by dmitch1980[/QUOTE]

You asked a question about something you knew was going to leave people feeling left out... and then when you got the answers, confirming, that yes, its rude and people will feel left out... you are gonna do it anyway?

What a peach you are.