Dollar Dance

eev028

I remember quite a few years ago being at a wedding that the bride and groom had a dollar dance that everyone could give a dollar (or more) to the bride or groom and dance a few steps till someone else would cut in and give a dollar and so on and so on throughout the dance. They made extra money for their honeymoon and it was alot of fun. Is this still done? I was thinking of adding this to my reception timeline. Anyone have thoughts on this?

mattsgirl2004

It's still done (well in my area it is). I'm not sure if it is "proper" to do, but it's been done for years and years at many weddings.  We are going to incorporate it into our reception.  I found a little white money bag online to wear around my wrist during the dance to hold the dollar bills.  Good luck to you!

Catwoman708

Dollar dances are only acceptable if it's already a long standing tradition in your family and culture, and the guests WANT to participate. 

Otherwise, they are considered incredibly tacky and opportunistic for the newlywed couple to start off their marriage trying to wheedle more money out of the guests.  They are guests, not customer throwing tips at you. 

The only way to actually make enough money from a dollar dance to pay for a honeymoon is if you have hundreds of guests, pay thousands of dollars on food and free booze, and the guests are of a culture where they normally give large amounts of cash as a wedding gift.  It's much cheaper and less stressful to just have a smaller wedding and pay for your own honeymoon.

eev028

To "Catwoman", Thank you for the very hostile response. I was asking as an Idea to keep the reception interesting not as a ploy to "get money" from my guests. I wasnt "trying" to get my honeymoon "paid for"

 As it is, we are supplying an open bar, complete food buffet  and my fiance and I have paid for the entire wedding ourselves. As for a honeymoon, ours is put on hold due to conflicts with my school schedule. 

Just trying to think of fun things to do during the dancing

artbyallie

Catwoman was not 'very hostile'. If you had lurked a little bit and read other posts about dollar dances, you would have known before posting that dollar dances are not well received on these forums. She was merely informing you that a lot of people see them as tacky unless it's something that typically happens at weddings that they go to.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f57a8f-c80d-4ead-a5f1-1e5a0b985f15Post:85aec1f9-54d7-4c8a-8e48-5995f3aa6ebb">Re: Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]To "Catwoman", Thank you for the very hostile response. I was asking as an Idea to keep the reception interesting not as a ploy to "get money" from my guests. I wasnt "trying" to get my honeymoon "paid for"  As it is, we are supplying an open bar, complete food buffet  and my fiance and I have paid for the entire wedding ourselves. As for a honeymoon, ours is put on hold due to conflicts with my school schedule.  Just trying to think of fun things to do during the dancing
Posted by eev028[/QUOTE]

<div>I really don't think she was hostile at all in her response.  You said yourself how the dollar dance gets you extra money for the honeymoon.  </div><div>
</div><div>I hate dollar dances, and think they are ridiculously rude and tacky.  There are some cultures and families that have long standing traditions with them, and that is the only way it is acceptable.  If you want to make your reception fun, hire a good DJ and just let the guests have at the dance floor.  Honestly, the more people try to plan a "fun" reception, the less fun it becomes because the dancing gets interrupted.  </div>

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f57a8f-c80d-4ead-a5f1-1e5a0b985f15Post:71e7606e-f4b8-4983-9209-5b1309899d77">Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]I remember quite a few years ago being at a wedding that the bride and groom had a dollar dance that everyone could give a dollar (or more) to the bride or groom and dance a few steps till someone else would cut in and give a dollar and so on and so on throughout the dance. They made extra money for their honeymoon and it was alot of fun. Is this still done? I was thinking of adding this to my reception timeline. Anyone have thoughts on this?
Posted by eev028[/QUOTE]

mattsgirl2004

In the region I live in and within my family, dollar dances are quite normal during receptions.  My brothers, cousins, friends, etc. have all had them, so maybe that's why I don't see them as rude or tacky.  Like previously stated, it all depends on family traditions and what area you live in.  It's almost always expected at wedding receptions around here.  Whatever you decide to do, I hope that your reception turns out to be fun and memorable. 

vicki0508

If it's not something that is customary among your friends and family I wouldn't do it.  If your guests aren't expecting to do it, they probably won't bring cash, and they might not even know how you expect them to participate because they've never seen it before. 

How embarrassing would it be if nobody got up to dance with you, or only a few people did?  Is it really worth $3?  In general though, guests shouldn't be asked to open their wallets at your wedding.

Beachy730

If you really like the idea of doing the dance, and it's not a tradition for you, and you don't want to offend your guests, then an alternative is a wish dance.  You can have slips of paper and pens for guests to write advice or well wishes for the new bride and groom, and they slip those in your bag in order to dance with you.  There's your fun without being offensive or coming across as greedy.  Because let's face it, if people aren't accustomed to it, that's how it will come across.

mattsgirl2004

I honestly did not know that dollar dances weren't a traditional thing during receptions.  Nor did I ever think that they would cause offense to other guests.  I guess I just expect them at every reception I go to.  Just goes to show how incredibly naive I am when it comes to proper wedding etiquette...kinda feeling stupid now, lol.  Even though they seem to be pretty customary where I live (our DJ even recomended us to have one stating that there are very few wedding receptions without the dollar dance), maybe I should reconsider having one at my reception? 

lthom17

We are not doing one because I would be embarrased to.  I've heard of them though and as long as your guests are drunk and willing to part with their cash, it will be fun.  haha

sklink0486

We are going to have one. My fiance is Filipino, born and raised, and his family expects it. A couple of my family members have had it at the weddings I've been able to attend and everyone seemed to enjoy it, at least our crowd, but I think you have to know your guests. My family treated as a way to get to dance with the bride and groom and contribute towards their new life together. Our wedding will be close friends and family.

zitiqueen

Okay, here's the deal with dollar dances and The Knot.

You will get posters that'll tell you that while they think dollar dances are horribly tacky and rude, they are tolerant and open-minded enough to admit that they're perfectly acceptable if they're a part of your heritage or are common in your area. Then in the next breath they'll tell you that they're still horribly tacky and rude and they'll list all the reasons why your heritage and local traditions are wrong and that you just shouldn't have one.

So, there you go.

McKenna2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f57a8f-c80d-4ead-a5f1-1e5a0b985f15Post:64eb9f38-6fda-4a9d-a617-47397e00d0c6">Re: Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]If it's not something that is customary among your friends and family I wouldn't do it.   How embarrassing would it be if nobody got up to dance with you, or only a few people did? 
Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]

<div>This alone would stop me from doing it.  Like Ziti said, most everyone here will tell you they don't like it but are accepting of it if it is the norm in your circle. If you had been to several weddings in your area where it was done, then it would seem the norm. I'm not sure if one wedding you saw it at makes it the norm. Also, I don't think a dollar dance makes a reception fun. </div>

RamonaFlowers

I'm from an area where literally nobody does them. Because of this, the one friend I had that did one (And no, it wasn't a cultural thing for her, either. She flat out admitted after the fact that she and her H just wanted some extra money), had guests giving the side-eye while it was going on. Her wedding was 3 years ago, and now whenever it comes up, somebody always mentions how rude they thought it was that she had a Dollar Dance.

I obviously didn't have one at my wedding. But when I was on my HM, some man overheard my husband and I saying we'd just gotten married, and he came up to us and handed us a dollar, saying "Even though I didn't get a chance to dance with the bride, it is the tradition". So, I'm guessing wherever he was from, having one  is the norm.

My poinst is: if it's common in your region or your culture (And therefore the majority of your guests wouldn't be shocked by you having one) then it's fine. But if you haven't seen one at any of the weddings you've gone to, or there really is no "tradition" of having them in your or your FI's family, don't do it.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f57a8f-c80d-4ead-a5f1-1e5a0b985f15Post:5f611ed6-b435-4764-8d5a-f0097b74b832">Re: Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]Dollar dances are only acceptable if it's already a long standing tradition in your family and culture, <strong>and the guests WANT to participate</strong>. Posted by Catwoman708[/QUOTE]

I grew up in an area where dollar dances are incredibly common (huge Polish population) and I have never once seen one where the guests were <u>forced</u> to participate. 

Queen Jane

If your family and friends are not familiar with it, I would decline having one. FI's family (mexican) does it as tradition. He says it would be weird not to. I asked my mom and she said it's normal in my dads (polish) family. I've seen it done at friends' weddings. Since FI's family will be expecting it and they are the majority of our guestlist, I agreed to do one. Sidenote, FI's grandparents had their Bday party last night (their parties are fairly large and go fairly late). His grandpa took several trays of tamales and a case of beer over to the neighbors and said "it's my birthday, have these tamales and beers!" and the neighbors then brought him over some cash. The family pinned the money on his shirt and he wore it around the rest of the night. It made me giggle, and think of the dollar dance.

niquemel

My friend had a Dollar Dance at her wedding and I loved it. It was my private moment with each the bride and groom and I will always cherish it. I don't think it's considered opportunistic - after all what's $30-50 compared to the expense of an entire wedding. I can't remember exactly how much, but I think what they made was less than half of what they paid for one person's meal. So it really wasn's about the money. If anything, guests were sad when they stopped doing the dollar dance. 

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f57a8f-c80d-4ead-a5f1-1e5a0b985f15Post:e97fe22b-2d4a-4bfe-a68a-c6a8b11259b6">Re: Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Dance : I grew up in an area where dollar dances are incredibly common (huge Polish population) and I have never once seen one where the guests were forced to participate. 
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I don't think it's ever a situation of being forced to participate, but of doing something you know will offend half of your guests.  If one family is used to them, and one has never seen them done, I personally would opt not to do it.  Or I would do a compromise with the wish dance or something.  </div>

aerinpegadrak

It's not that someone is going around and dragging the guests into participating, but it's really, really awkward to be the person sitting out because you don't carry cash or aren't able to contribute more money on top of the wedding gift, shower gift, hotel, travel, time off work, and new clothes that you've already paid for to be able to go to this wedding.  Dollar dances came from a time that guests didn't have any of those expenses, and they're no longer appropriate.

If you vaguely remeber the one time in your life you've seen a dollar dance, I doubt it's going to go over well.  Just say no.

[Deleted User]

Dollar dances are really common in our circle of friends and family. I wasn't going to do one, but H wanted one. It was just one of those things we compromised on. It only lasted about 30 minutes though. And we didn't force anyone to participate. The DJ simply announced it and if someone wanted to dance with either the bride or groom, they stood up and formed a line.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f57a8f-c80d-4ead-a5f1-1e5a0b985f15Post:1a607c91-e167-4463-bffc-732cbb834e8b">Re: Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not that someone is going around and dragging the guests into participating, but it's really, really awkward to be the person sitting out because you don't carry cash or aren't able to contribute more money on top of the wedding gift, shower gift, hotel, travel, time off work, and new clothes that you've already paid for to be able to go to this wedding.  Dollar dances came from a time that guests didn't have any of those expenses, and<strong> they're no longer appropriate.</strong> If you vaguely remeber the one time in your life you've seen a dollar dance, I doubt it's going to go over well.  Just say no.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

I'm all over a dollar dance being inappropriate if you've never seen one before or if it's not common in your heritage or region. I'm 100% behind that. But if dollar dances are no longer appropriate because times have changed, then the same can be said for bridesmaids and groomsmen, and it costs a hell of a lot more to be one of those than a dollar. After all, in this day and age, rational people don't believe that evil spirits attend wedding ceremonies or threaten to place curses on the bride and groom and the bridesmaids and groomsmen are needed to confuse those spirits. 

So why don't bridal parties garner the same amount of rage on the Knot that a stupid dollar dance does since they're both outdated traditions that are no longer necessary?

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f57a8f-c80d-4ead-a5f1-1e5a0b985f15Post:957d6e07-dec6-4a0f-8c10-2f2b0a67e22d">Re: Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]Dollar dances are really common in our circle of friends and family. I wasn't going to do one, but H wanted one. It was just one of those things we compromised on.<strong> It only lasted about 30 minutes though.</strong> And we didn't force anyone to participate. The DJ simply announced it and if someone wanted to dance with either the bride or groom, they stood up and formed a line.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

<div>Holy crap that's a long time, and it makes me think they are usually much longer if you said "only."  I just kind of expected they were only about 5-10 minutes.  Okay, if I wasn't anti-dollar dance enough already, I definitely am even now.  That is just waaayyyy too long to have to dance floor shut down.  TBH, if I was a guest and that happened, I would probably leave the reception at that point.</div>

sklink0486

PP- I've never seen one go on for that long. They usually are only about 10-15 min. or so (long enough for everyone who is coming up to dance with couple for a little bit). 30 min. is too long! Unless you have a ton of guests I guess..

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f57a8f-c80d-4ead-a5f1-1e5a0b985f15Post:35564fbe-b4a1-4663-a870-49f70d7b93aa">Re: Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Dance : I'm all over a dollar dance being inappropriate if you've never seen one before or if it's not common in your heritage or region. I'm 100% behind that. But if dollar dances are no longer appropriate because times have changed, then the same can be said for bridesmaids and groomsmen, and it costs a hell of a lot more to be one of those than a dollar. After all, in this day and age, rational people don't believe that evil spirits attend wedding ceremonies or threaten to place curses on the bride and groom and the bridesmaids and groomsmen are needed to confuse those spirits.  So why don't bridal parties garner the same amount of rage on the Knot that a stupid dollar dance does since they're both outdated traditions that are no longer necessary?
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

For me, there is a big difference between the two. Your WP is there standing up for you and supporting your marriage. Yes, they are paying a lot of money in some instances, but it's not like that money is going to the B&G like in a dollar dance. Having a WP is about asking your friends to stand beside you during your ceremony (and can be done in a way that it costs the BP little or no money). Having a dollar dance is about making money. Those two things are completely different, IMO.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f57a8f-c80d-4ead-a5f1-1e5a0b985f15Post:956549f9-3d55-4d7f-b6fb-80ac02f8d1bb">Re: Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Dance : For me, there is a big difference between the two. Your WP is there standing up for you and supporting your marriage. Yes, they are paying a lot of money in some instances, but it's not like that money is going to the B&G like in a dollar dance. Having a WP is about asking your friends to stand beside you during your ceremony (and can be done in a way that it costs the BP little or no money). Having a dollar dance is about making money. Those two things are completely different, IMO.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

<div>Completely agree.  There is still an honor associated with being in a WP.</div><div>
</div><div>I will just never understand dollar dances since they aren't common in my area, family, or social circle.  However, I think een amongst those groups where it is popular, there are still variances.  Some posters have talked about brides making thousands of dollars from their dance because people give hundreds and fifties to dance.  That to me is just absurd.  If I wanted to give that money to the couple, I would put it in their card.  </div>

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f57a8f-c80d-4ead-a5f1-1e5a0b985f15Post:129da42e-aa5c-4eb1-9ed2-616e7f7bad62">Re: Dollar Dance</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Dance : Holy crap that's a long time, and it makes me think they are usually much longer if you said "only."  I just kind of expected they were only about 5-10 minutes.  Okay, if I wasn't anti-dollar dance enough already, I definitely am even now.  That is just waaayyyy too long to have to dance floor shut down.  TBH, if I was a guest and that happened, I would probably leave the reception at that point.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

Beach - maybe it wasn't that long, but it sure seemed it. I dunno.  I have seen them last that long though.

npenkava

I feel like a lot of you have the wrong impression of a dollar dance. It started in Poland 100 years ago as a tradition, a way to give the newly weds a good start or bring good fortune to them as they imbark on thier married life together. It is not to be looked at as rude or tacky, and only cheap, disrespectful people look at it this way.

Most people want to give you a good start and would not mind giving money since let's face it most of us pay for our weddings ourselves and our guests know it.
If you feel like it fits with your guests totally do it, most people have a good idea what it is and since it is optional no one would feel pressure to do it.

Plus it's a great way to mingle with your guests, most of them would not have a chance to dance with you any other time than this so its actually works out well for everyone. Hope this helps ladies and good luck to you all.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-dance-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:57f57a8f-c80d-4ead-a5f1-1e5a0b985f15Post:3d8bd6c2-f878-4957-904b-ba742d24cbdc">Dollar Dance and to educate dnbeach12</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel like a lot of you have the wrong impression of a dollar dance. <strong>It started in Poland 100 years ago as a tradition, a way to give the newly weds a good start or bring good fortune to them as they imbark on thier married life together. </strong>It is not to be looked at as rude or tacky, and only cheap, disrespectful people look at it this way. Most people want to give you a good start and would not mind giving money since let's face it most of us pay for our weddings ourselves and our guests know it. If you feel like it fits with your guests totally do it, most people have a good idea what it is and since it is optional no one would feel pressure to do it. Plus it's a great way to mingle with your guests, most of them would not have a chance to dance with you any other time than this so its actually works out well for everyone. Hope this helps ladies and good luck to you all.
Posted by npenkava[/QUOTE]
Actually, it started much longer ago than that.  And it started at a time when it was the one and only expense a wedding guest had; they simply woke up, walked to the village green, and celebrated.  Now, guests usually buy a gift or give cash, and asking for more money on top of that is just inappropriate.  There are ways to preserve the tradition and do the dance without asking guests to open up their wallets.

But OP explicitly said that she doesn't know the tradition and just wants to do it for the money.

cdstadler

We are doing one...but we are doing one because its a polish tradition in my family to do so. My brother got married this past summer and did not have one and some of my family was upset that he did not carry out that tradition. Our family is more than happy to give to a newly married couple because there are alot of expenses with new homes, bills, etc. So we have always done it and i plan on carrying it out in ours. I honestly dont see it as "begging" guests. But a nice alternative would be to do it without money...instead....do tips for a successful marriage, recipes, good luck wishes, etc. That way people wont be spending money but it will still be fun with dancing.