Am I Crazy? (Long)

dawnleanna1

I mentioned earlier that I am going on day 8 of the worst migrane of my life. I have been to the hospital twice already including overnight  on Friday. I have had all of the tests done and nothing is wrong with me. They gave me some drugs and sent me home. It seems like as soon as I start to feel better and start acting normal, it gets worse again. I hate the meds and FI says i act like i'm drunk. Friday I hit a parked car and drove home 40 miles without buckling the baby up all of the way. Now FI won't let me go anywhere or do anything by myself. I know some meds make you act stupid, but problem is I dont feel like im getting any better. Today I had a total meltdown and FI and my mom both think I'm just getting too stressed out about the wedding. I don't understand. Just last week I was feeling so optimistic and happy about the wedding and getting stuff done (we are planning this wedding in 5 months so there is alot). Now that I have been not feeling well, it feels like things are piling up and there is so much to do. I feel like my DIY stuff isn't coming along, my caterer is jerking me around, I'm not losing enough weight and my dress won't fit, I just found out my MOH is throwing me a shower and I dont have a registry, etc....I just want to be able to talk about it and FI just told me I need to STOP. He says I am probably stressing myself out and causing all of this to myself. Could he be right? I never imagined that could be the case because I felt so much more stressed out the last couple of months with school and all. I don't really wan't to stress about all of the little details, I just want everything to be perfect on our day. I just want to be the perfect wife, mother and have the wedding of my dreams. Anyone else experience anything like this? I honestly don't know if I could take a break from everything wedding. That may stress me out more!

Rebis58

First off - I just have to say it. If your meds make you feel/act drunk I  really hope you stop driving while on them and that you have help with the baby! For your safety and the safety of others.

Ok, just had to get that off my chest. No you aren't crazy, but you are putting crazy expectations on yourself. We all want our days to be perfect, but they won't be. Something will go wrong. The sooner you accept that the less stressed you'll feel. And I promise you those little hiccups are rarely a big deal. The things that went "wrong" at weddings I've been to lately are the funny stories they tell later. 

I recommend prioritizing your wedding list. What are your "Must Haves", make sure those are done first. What are your "Nice to Have", do those if you have time. What are your "Don't Needs", scrap those from your list. 

And please don't expect yourself to be the perfect wife and mother. None of us is perfect - it's not possible. Just do your best for yourself, your baby, and your husband, and that will be more than enough.

Good luck and I really hope you get your migraines under control - it sounds awful and I'm sure it is really difficult to put things in perspective while you are in so much pain.

littlemoments324

take a breather!  Assign some tasks for your mom & FI to do.  It could be stress related and you not realizing it...give yourself a week of not worrying about anything WR (it'll be there when you come back) and see if you feel better 

hmacsine

Yes, stress can cause migranes. I suffer from chronic migraine too. My meds had me so dazed, I refused to take it until my girls were sleeping. My dr. Prescribed me a pill to take daily( they reduced some of my migranes) . He also told me to watch what I'm eating. ( food can cause migraines) Chocolate & energy drinks triggers my migraine. I think you should see your primary care doctor. Please try to stop stressing. I was so stressed my face was partially paralyzed for months. ( bells palsy) It's still not 100% back to normal and it happened two years ago.

michelle11988

I would definitely take a day or two off from planning and wedding related stuff.  I get migraines when I am extremely stressed and it sounds like you get them as well.  Take a nap, relax, go running/workout, and eat, or go get a mani/pedi!

I would see if you can get FI to do the registering, or if you want some control, look thru online for the main items you want/need such as bedding and dishes.  It sounds like you are trying to take on everything and it sounds like you need some help.  Definitely prioritize your list and write it all down, it helps me destress if I have everything somewhat mapped out in front of me.

dawnleanna1

Thank you for listening. I just want to reassure everyone that I am not driving. My meds aren't actually narcotics, and the problem is that I don't feel messed up when I'm on them- I just act that way. Well FI won't let me go anywhere alone anymore until I feel better. I never imagined I would get so stressed over this wedding. 

Rebis- thank you, that is good advice. Making a list and getting my priorities straight will help I think.It's crazy it's like a catch 22- I have never been more happy in a relationship in my life and I just want to do everything right, but in the process I am stressing him out and worrying him with the way I am acting. He actually has been helping (he pretty much did all of the invite assembly this morning) and he even took off work Friday and Saturday because he wanted to be there for me (which makes me feel like crap!). He won't register, (he think's thats crazy) but he is doing alot to help. I don't know what to do to try and unwind besides have a couple glasses of wine, but I don't want to drink on medication!

littlemoments324

maybe you could register online   It is fun!  Target & BB&B!  The good thing about BB&B is that if it isn't available in the store, they can have it shipped to you & FI   Target tells you what is available in store & online or both..or one or the other

dawnleanna1

Thanks LM I just might do that. See, FI is against registering because this is a second wedding for both of us ( I am a widow he is divorced) and we have lots of "stuff". But neither of us ever had a wedding shower or a big traditional wedding which is why we are doing it this time around. I didn't even plan on having a shower but to my suprise my bff wants to throw us one so I'm going to let her. I got him into the idea of a HM registry but in order to do that I have to pretty much put together our HM itinerary which I haven't done yet (sigh). I already set up our HM registry website, but I was thinking in the meantime we could register at BBB or Target or something for people that may feel more comfortable bringing an "actual" gift.

BmoreBride311

I second the idea of registering online! My FI and I live in a different country than where we are getting married (and where we will eventually be settling down), so we registered online at a store they have in the U.S. but not where we live. I didn't have the fun "scanner gun" experience lol, but it was still fun and actually I think it worked quite. By doing it online, I could easily compare similar products' features and read reviews to help me decide which to register for. Even if you have a lot of stuff, I'm sure there are some things that could use upgrading (new sheets, towels, nice dishes, etc.) and there will likely be ppl that want to give you a physical gift.

GL! I hope you start feeling better soon!

xobride

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.  Stress can do wonky things to your body.  If the meds aren't helping and a neurologist has confirmed that nothing is wrong, I would stop taking them.  It sounds like they're stressing you out even more.  Other than stress, you might look for other triggers.  When I'm tired, I'm hyper sensitive to any flashing or strobing lights.  Just passing an emergency vehicle on the road with its lights on can trigger a migraine for me.  Certains foods can cause problems for some people, too as can dehydration so make sure you're drinking plenty of water.

Taking some time off like PPs have said is a good idea.  I know we're all in crunch time right now, but there is still some wiggle room and taking a breather for a few days isn't going to ruin anything.  You still have time to register since the invites haven't gone out yet and people won't start asking for a little while.  It sounds like your FI is already helping out and I'd keep letting him even after the migraines are gone. 

Take a hot bath, have a couple of glasses of wine (provided you stopped taking your meds) and relax for a few days.

mbody

Honestly, this doesn't sound just like normal 'wedding stress.' Stress shouldn't cause a horrible migrane for a week. And, I'm glad your FI won't let you go or do anything by yourself right now. You hit a parked car and didn't buckle in your child; he's only doing that for your safety, your baby's safety, and everyone else's.

I think you need to go back to the doctor. You need to be honest and tell him what the medications he prescribed are doing to you. There are other meds, and there are also other doctors. Get a second opinion.

I agree with your FI and that you need to take a step back from wedding planning. You need to get yourself better before you make it worse. Have your FI help you if things really need to get done. Scale back if the two of you can't handle it all.

mbody

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_am-i-crazy-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:63af5cb8-1f2c-4678-9126-009c52a896fcPost:0df37c2c-d96f-4c5f-9da6-4088c53b5531">Re: Am I Crazy? (Long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.  Stress can do wonky things to your body.  <strong>If the meds aren't helping and a neurologist has confirmed that nothing is wrong, I would stop taking them.</strong>  It sounds like they're stressing you out even more.  Other than stress, you might look for other triggers.  When I'm tired, I'm hyper sensitive to any flashing or strobing lights.  Just passing an emergency vehicle on the road with its lights on can trigger a migraine for me.  Certains foods can cause problems for some people, too as can dehydration so make sure you're drinking plenty of water. Taking some time off like PPs have said is a good idea.  I know we're all in crunch time right now, but there is still some wiggle room and taking a breather for a few days isn't going to ruin anything.  You still have time to register since the invites haven't gone out yet and people won't start asking for a little while.  It sounds like your FI is already helping out and I'd keep letting him even after the migraines are gone.  Take a hot bath, have a couple of glasses of wine (provided you stopped taking your meds) and relax for a few days. :)
Posted by xobride[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry, but this is horrible advice. She needs to speak with her doctor before discontinuing her medications. She needs to tell him how they are making her feel. He's the one with the M.D. and can figure out the best course of action.

xobride

Doctors don't know everything and she already said the doctor said there is nothing wrong with her so there's no reason to keep taking medication that isn't helping and is only making things worse.  She doesn't have to take my advice, but I stand by it.  I've seen too many doctors screw up too many times to just blindly do what they say.

butterflyjumper1

It is totally normal to get headachse and migraines from stress - I actually got the second migraine of my entire life last week in the midst of our house hunting horrors. However, what you are going through sounds like something much more serious than stress.

I would follow the advice of your physician for the time being - but if you are concerned about their opinions, go to a second doctor and get another opinion.  My fiance is a pharmacist and he always says that when people play doctor/pharmacist and create their own medication schedule, that is when things can get really screwed up. 

If you really, truly don't think the meds are working, see another doctor for another opinion - but don't change your prescription schedule on your own. Wait until a doctor tells you to do so.

mbody

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_am-i-crazy-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:63af5cb8-1f2c-4678-9126-009c52a896fcPost:176224b4-1ad5-47f1-b767-8250549b102d">Re: Am I Crazy? (Long)</a>:
[QUOTE]Doctors don't know everything and she already said the doctor said there is nothing wrong with her so there's no reason to keep taking medication that isn't helping and is only making things worse.  She doesn't have to take my advice, but I stand by it.  I've seen too many doctors screw up too many times to just blindly do what they say.
Posted by xobride[/QUOTE]
No one should 'just blindly do what they say.' She needs to talk with her doc about the side effects of the medication. And, she can seek another doctor for a second opinion. (Speaking with your docs and getting second opinion is definitely not just blindly doing what they say.) You didn't give that advice, you just told her to stop taking the meds.

dawnleanna1

I am not going to stop taking the migrane medicine that actually works for me because I still have the headache For now I am going to try and take it easy. I have decided to just buy a bunch of stuff on Etsy that I was planning on DIY to save time and stress. And since I can't go anywhere I am going to work on our registry for the next couple of days online and also our premarital counseling workbook. FI also just fixed our jacuzzi and the jets on our bathtub so maybe that will help!