reception issue

nm02155

Hey everyone!
 So i'm totally thinking about getting married thru justice of the peace and having a reception later on.  Would that be inapporpriate(i cant spell)?

redheadfsu

How much later? weeks, a month that would still be a reception/ celebration of your recent marriage.

Any longer than that it is called a vow renewal. At vow renewals several of the traditional wedding traditions are usually frowned upon (in my social circle at least).

shauni27

we were going to elope in march (once our tax money came in!) somewhere tropical and then in september throw a huge bbq party--not a reception, but just a big party with music and bbq.  way less formal but still a celebration of our marriage.  no dj, no first dance, no bridal party, no father daughter dance, no wedding cake, no guest book...you get the idea.  just friends and family all getting together to celebrate with some bbq and beer! 

brattkatt22

ok so me and my honey got married secretly ..months ago ..and were doing the whole church wedding in june of next yr..the prob is ..we have no reception hall ? Haven't a clue how were going to afford it ? My honey got laid off , so theres only my income ....so what am i going to do >>

mbcdefg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_reception-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:685cd513-8cc5-4dde-bb38-beda98696ba3Post:a7a33fe9-c95e-4967-ad96-25c42024bb47">Re: reception issue</a>:
[QUOTE]ok so me and my honey got married secretly ..months ago ..and were doing the whole church wedding in june of next yr..the prob is ..we have no reception hall ? Haven't a clue how were going to afford it ? My honey got laid off , so theres only my income ....so what am i going to do />>
Posted by brattkatt22[/QUOTE]


1. Don't deceive your family and friends. Fess up that you're already married, and if you want to plan a celebratory party then go ahead and do so. But don't call it a wedding because you already had your wedding (Wedding = exchange of vows, not a party and a white dress and a cake.)

2. Are you even sure your church will allow you to do this? Many churches will not perform their traditional wedding ceremony if you are already legally married. Some churches may treat it as a vow renewal, a convalidation ceremony or a blessing ceremony. Some churches may refuse to perform any kind of ceremony at all for you. If you haven't done so already, this is the most important step - check with the priest or minister ASAP as to what the rules are. And do NOT NOT NOT lie and say that you aren't legally married, because you are.

3. If you cannot afford a party now ... either scale things back to the point where you CAN afford it (even if that means having 10 people over for cupcakes and juice), or push things back for a few years and have a 5-year or 10-year vow renewal and a large party. Or just skip the fake wedding altogether, since you already had your shot at a wedding and you chose to do it privately.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_reception-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:685cd513-8cc5-4dde-bb38-beda98696ba3Post:a7a33fe9-c95e-4967-ad96-25c42024bb47">Re: reception issue</a>:
[QUOTE]ok so me and my honey got married secretly ..months ago ..and were doing the whole church wedding in june of next yr..the prob is ..we have no reception hall ? Haven't a clue how were going to afford it ? My honey got laid off , so theres only my income ....so what am i going to do /> />
Posted by brattkatt22[/QUOTE]

You're already married.  It would be wrong to have a big fake wedding in June, and you can't afford it anyway.  You could have a vow renewal if you want, but there's really no point when you've only been married a year or so.  Just tell people that you already got married and be done with it. 

gottahavashorti

nm02, announce to your family and friends that you are going to the JOP, then have a casual get together.  It doesn't need to be called a reception, but if you are recently married people will probably still take it as an opportunity to celebrate your recent marriage.  You could also plan something small now or wait to get married, having the ceremony and reception together with either option.

brattkatt, tell your friends and family that you got married and failed to tell them.  Expect repercussions - they may be angry, disappointed, or not trust you any longer.  If your religion or denomination does not consider you to be married without a church wedding, go to your pastor and ask him or her for a private blessing of your wedding.  In terms of a reception hall, you don't really have an issue because you are already married, even though you kept it a secret.