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What to call the Pre-Wedding Party?

ld916ld916
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in Wedding Reception Forum

We are getting married in Italy with just family in attendance.  My mother and a good friend would like to host a "Pre-Wedding" party for all of our close friends and family that wont be at the ceremony.  It will be an Italian themed event at my parents house that has a full size Bocce Ball court and the house and grounds are inspired by Italy (my heritage). The party will be in mid September and we are getting married October 10th. We will have catered food, hand thrown outdoor pizza oven pizza's, Tiramisu for dessert and lots of wine poured by servers.  It will be summer sun dress casual.  We want to send custom invites to our family and friends but I don't know what to call this or how to word the invites. We do not want gifts since this is our second wedding and we are 50 yo. and want to let people know without sounding harsh.

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Re: What to call the Pre-Wedding Party?

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    It's really not polite to invite people to any wedding-related events if they are not invited to the wedding. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You could have a 'bon voyage' party - sorry, I don't know how to say it in Italian.
                       
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    QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited March 2013
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_what-to-call-the-pre-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:792ec330-6d5f-4e9b-9c3a-0cd1f0f626e0Post:62bf71c7-49aa-4d23-afc3-628c0b42db92">What to call the Pre-Wedding Party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are getting married in Italy with just family in attendance.  My mother and a good friend would like to host a "Pre-Wedding" party for all of our close friends and family that wont be at the ceremony.  It will be an Italian themed event at my parents house that has a full size Bocce Ball court and the house and grounds are inspired by Italy (my heritage). The party will be in mid September and we are getting married October 10th. We will have catered food, hand thrown outdoor pizza oven pizza's, Tiramisu for dessert and lots of wine poured by servers.  It will be summer sun dress casual.  We want to send custom invites to our family and friends but I don't know what to call this or how to word the invites. We do not want gifts since this is our second wedding and we are 50 yo. and want to let people know without sounding harsh.
    Posted by ld916[/QUOTE]

    Have it after you get back from Italy.  And call it a "celebration of your marriage".</div>

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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    ld916ld916
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    edited March 2013
    Every person that we have told that we are getting married has asked to throw us a party or be invited to a party being thrown. I even been asked about a bridal shower (yikes). That I am not doing as I don't want gifts. Our friends will be hosting a joint (bachelor/bachelorette) wine tasting trip to local wineries to share in the celebration of the upcoming wedding. I have been divorced for over 30 years and have finally met my love and my friends are thrilled and want to share in this. They are over the moon and are exited to come to a party to celebrate the event. I guess when you are my age all of the "Rules" regarding these things are out the door. It wouldn't be a reception and there will be no gifts also I am not wearing a white dress for the wedding so I definitely would be at an outside casual party. There will be no cake cutting, flower tossing, first dance, etc. been there done that.. The wedding itself is non traditional as we are going to a town hall and then having a private dinner in a restaurant after with just our children and parents. After the wedding would be out because we will be honeymooning in Italy and France until the end of October and its too cold and possibly rainy to have a Bocce Ball and outdoor pizza oven party. I like Bon voyage or buon viaggio it is a great idea!!I think that is a perfect choice.
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    artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_what-to-call-the-pre-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:792ec330-6d5f-4e9b-9c3a-0cd1f0f626e0Post:c5408c14-bdc0-486a-a78b-93024b7f53d4">Re: What to call the Pre-Wedding Party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Every person that we have told that we are getting married has asked to throw us a party or be invited to a party being thrown. I even been asked about a bridal shower (yikes). That I am not doing as I don't want gifts. Our friends will be hosting a joint (bachelor/bachelorette) wine tasting trip to local wineries to share in the celebration of the upcoming wedding. I have been divorced for over 30 years and have finally met my love and my friends are thrilled and want to share in this. They are over the moon and are exited to come to a party to celebrate the event. I guess when you are my age all of the "Rules" regarding these things are out the door. It wouldn't be a reception and there will be no gifts also I am not wearing a white dress for the wedding so I definitely would be at an outside casual party. There will be no cake cutting, flower tossing, first dance, etc. been there done that.. The wedding itself is non traditional as we are going to a town hall and then having a private dinner in a restaurant after with just our children and parents. After the wedding would be out because we will be honeymooning in Italy and France until the end of October and its too cold and possibly rainy to have a Bocce Ball and outdoor pizza oven party. I like Bon voyage or buon viaggio it is a great idea!!I think that is a perfect choice.
    Posted by ld916[/QUOTE]

    <div>No, there are definitely still rules. You cannot have a wedding-related event for people who are not invited to the wedding. A completely non-wedding-related party is fine. But you celebrate your wedding with the people who attend it, and it's rude to 'celebrate' it with those you did not invite to witness your marriage.</div>
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_what-to-call-the-pre-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:792ec330-6d5f-4e9b-9c3a-0cd1f0f626e0Post:c5408c14-bdc0-486a-a78b-93024b7f53d4">Re: What to call the Pre-Wedding Party?</a>:
    [QUOTE] I like Bon voyage or buon viaggio it is a great idea!!I think that is a perfect choice.
    Posted by ld916[/QUOTE]

    There are some Italian style invitations on this site: <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/italian+invitations" rel="nofollow">http://www.zazzle.com/italian+invitations</a>
    and also some cute vintage style French postcards.
                       
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    alithebridealithebride member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_what-to-call-the-pre-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:792ec330-6d5f-4e9b-9c3a-0cd1f0f626e0Post:c5408c14-bdc0-486a-a78b-93024b7f53d4">Re: What to call the Pre-Wedding Party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Every person that we have told that we are getting married has asked to throw us a party or be invited to a party being thrown. I even been asked about a bridal shower (yikes). That I am not doing as I don't want gifts. Our friends will be hosting a joint (bachelor/bachelorette) wine tasting trip to local wineries to share in the celebration of the upcoming wedding. I have been divorced for over 30 years and have finally met my love and my friends are thrilled and want to share in this. They are over the moon and are exited to come to a party to celebrate the event. I guess when you are my age all of the "Rules" regarding these things are out the door. It wouldn't be a reception and there will be no gifts also I am not wearing a white dress for the wedding so I definitely would be at an outside casual party. There will be no cake cutting, flower tossing, first dance, etc. been there done that.. The wedding itself is non traditional as we are going to a town hall and then having a private dinner in a restaurant after with just our children and parents. After the wedding would be out because we will be honeymooning in Italy and France until the end of October and its too cold and possibly rainy to have a Bocce Ball and outdoor pizza oven party. I like Bon voyage or buon viaggio it is a great idea!!I think that is a perfect choice.
    Posted by ld916[/QUOTE]

    It rains in september as well.
    while it's nice of guests to ask it doesn't mean you have to throw a party before you get married. in fact i'd just fine it WEIRD. you should have it AFTER.  you're celebrating your marrige, if it hasn't happened yet you're putting the cart before the horse. dont do this the wrong way just for the pizza oven and bocce.

     

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