Groom Terrified of First Dance

emilysherman06

My groom is absolutely terrified to death of having a first dance and all eyes being on us even for a couple minutes. This makes it tough because pretty much the whole day is spent with all eyes on us. But he is particularly stressing about the first dance. I really don't want him to be anxious about it and would hate for him to be at the altar dreading about the dance. I told my bridesmaids about it and they were like "you HAVE to have a first dance." He's ok with us walking in together but just doesn't want to start dancing. Any ideas on how we could not have a first dance?

I might be able to get away with him dancing with me but as long as our whole wedding party is partnered up and dancing at the same time. Would it be really weird to not have a first dance period? What should I do?

By the way, he will never, ever, EVER consider doing a dance class. Pigs will fly before that ever happens. 

fallbride1109

There is no rule that you HAVE to have a first dance.  If you don't want one, don't have it.

We did a first dance but our DJ also did a "Married couples dance" which was fun because I used it as an excuse to make my husband dance with me again.    This would be a way for you guys to dance without it being a spotlight dance. 

We also did a private last dance and it was our favorite moment of the night.  The DJ cleared the room so that our guests could line up for the exit and then we danced our last dance together in the empty ballroom.  So this is an option also--your photographer would be present to capture it in photos.  You won't even know they are there, trust me.

If you do decide to do one, do it as soon as you are announced, before dinner, etc.  That way it's over and done with and you can just enjoy the rest of the night.  That's what we did so we didn't have to be nervous all through dinner.

Lilshell812

Would he be open to maybe a dancing lesson or two?

DeannaCW

It's fine to not do it, just make sure your guests know. Went to a wedding last year where they weren't doing a first dance, but nobody danced when the party section started because they were waiting for the first dance to open it. Took an hour and a half for word to get round and people to actually start dancing.

jessicabessica

There's now way I would have the dance if my H felt that way about it.  If he's willing to do it, just have the DJ say, "please join emily and mr. emily for the first dance" and keep encouraging people to join you, so you're not on the dance floor alone.  

Also, I would not have your wedding party slow dance with each other unless they are actually couples.  Let each person dance with her/his own SO.

LeiselEB

Maybe you could have whatever your first dance song was going to be played sometime during night while people were still on the dance floor. Your photographer could get in there to get photos of you two dancing, and people could watch or keep dancing, or whatever, but it wouldn't be a big announced thing with just you two on the dance floor.

DramaGeek

I like the idea of the married couples dance instead of a first dance.  You could also do the anniversary dance instead of a first dance - all couples start off on the dance floor and then the DJ starts eliminating couples from shortest time married (you guys) to longest.  That way you'd start off dancing but he'd only have to be on the dance floor for 30 seconds or so.

Or, just don't have a first dance and open it up from the beginning.

RebeccaB88

I wouldn't dream of forcing my FI to do something he's terrified of, even if it was something important to me.  You don't have to have a first dance.

ceeceecarter

OMG! I have the same delimmea.  We haven't decided what we are going to do yet.  I would like to do some silly bridal party dance, but I don't think my FH would be up for that either.  Not sure what to do.  I will be checking this post for more options.  Good luck!

coopsbaby

Nobody will care if you don't have one at all, really. But would he be okay if maybe your parents and/or grandparents danced with you? Maybe that would take some pressure off.

I REALLY don't want one (I'm not terrified, just don't want to do it!), but fi does, so we're going to do it during the night and not clear the floor or announce it, so he gets his dance but it's not a spotlight so we're both happy!