How to decide who sits where at the reception

cardsharkcarla

So I wasn't planning on doing a seating chart, or even assigned tables. But from what  I've read and gathered, its kind of a no-no not to do one. My issue is, how do you decide who's seated at the tables in the far back of the reception? I almost feel like I'm 'banishing" people to the back tables, ya know? And I know that people will be up and socializng & dancing, but still.....I guess I'm just too nice and feel bad about the people in the far back. Any help? Ideas?

LisaChris2011

You seat families together, i.e. arrange the table seating so its not your FI's 5 cousins and 1 cousin of yours seated at the same table.  You want to ensure the people seated at the tables have a commonality.  For friends of yours coming, seat them together based on age, then commonality.   If you have friends all within the same age, then seat them based on a certain commonality, i.e. you group from the bowling club seats together, the friends from work sit together, etc. etc.

ETA: Oh, and don't worry about the table thats in the back of the room.  Don't worry, you're not going to appear rude.  Just make sure elderly folks aren't seated next to the DJ speakers; if you have folks with handicapped issues maybe seat them closest to the buffet or bathrooms, etc. etc.

kgorman307

At my sister's wedding, my uncle (her godfather) was offended that he was placed towards the back of the room. She thought she was doing a nice thing by placing him with his OOT cousins he rarely gets to see. Keep in mind, most people are not as crazy as my family members.

As pp said, group people together by family or commonality. Rule of thumb, start with the head table and move out/towards the back of the room. The tables closest to the head table should be immediate family, then friends/more distant relatives further from the bride/groom. It really depends how big your reception is and how many tables, but unless you are having 500 people or are having the reception in a narrow rectangle  the furthest table really won't be all that far from the front.

kmmssg

We have 3 married DD's and here is my take on this:  Seating charts are a tremendous courtesy to your guests.  Take the time to really make an effort to seat people who enjoy each other at the same table.  Like PP suggested.

If anyone wants to get whiny about how close they were to the front, I blow it off.  Haven't had it happen so far (or at least as far as I know), but you can only do so much.  If I am invited to a wedding, I am just thrilled to sit with people I love and enjoy myself.

You can only do so much.  Your responsibility is to care for your guests, feed them, provide lovely hospitality.  Someone has to sit at those rear tables - just make sure you make the rounds and visit them!  Poo on those who think they are being insulted!!!

katiedidthat

I've experienced both seating charts and a lack there of.  I have to say I prefered seating charts as a guest, so I will be doing one for my wedding, but I really think it is more dependent on your crowd.   The coordinator at our venue suggested we start near our sweetheart table with immediate family and bridal party, then move out from there based on closeness of relationship(immediate family, grandparents, aunts/uncles, then 2nd and 3rd cousins, then friends) because the dance floor is at the back of our room and the sound equipment will be there.  She said this makes sure that most of the older guests are further from the speakers, and no one really feels "banished."

Wiscisbliss

I prefere having an assigned table as a guest.  I think it is a good idea to do. 

Sit families and relatives together.  That won't work for everyone, so for others I tried to sit people who had something in common together (married couples with kids together, people who went to university of whatever). 

As far as where to sit them, I put close family near the head table, and I put people who love to dance right by the dancefloor.  If you have older people who use hearing aids you will want to put them away from the dancefloor, so they can have a conversation away from the speakers. 

niquemel

The vast majority of weddings that I've been to have not had seating charts - and they were fine, no complaints here.
Whereas depending on the family and friends you have, some people can get really offended/bitchy (OMG, I can't believe she had the nerve to seat me this far back, or that such-and-such are sitting closer than I am, or I can't see the screen as well from here, etc etc etc).
You know your family and friends.
I just know that at my wedding, there is no way that I'll have assigned seating. HOWEVER, some of my OOT guests won't know anyone else there so I'll suggest that they sit with x, y, and z. 

Beachy730

Seating charts are definitely a courtesy to your guest.  Put your immediate family closest to the head tablle, and young friends in the back.  Our venue had the dance floor in the middle, with tables on each side.  The bar was in the back corner on each side.  Our back row was still a decent place to be because one table was along the dance floor so they could see the cake cutting and dances if they wanted, and the other was next to the bar.  

Family members and older guests care where they sit, and want to be closer to the head table.  Friends don't care, and they would prefer being near the bar most likely.  And as PP's said, keep families and certain groups together whenever possible.  If you have people that don't know anyone, find someone with a commonality to seat them with.  We invited a bunch of H's friends from the Navy that were from all different points of his career so far.  Some didn't know anyone else, but we sat all the Navy guys together because they at least had something in common, and they all got along great.

mstar284

I am reserving tables for wedding party and immediate family. Everyone else can choose where they want to sit. At first I was hesitant to do this because I heard people mention it's like being the new kid in a high school cafeteria with the "where should I sit" syndrome...but I really don't want to agonize over choosing the "correct" seat for everybody. Then nobody will feel isolated or offended if I put them in the "wrong" seat. We don't have huge numbers either, so I think this will help.

MilitaryBride2Be

I'm assigning tables, so familys can sit together and no one is left having to sit with people they don't know alone. As far as who sits in the back I've put some families with small children in the back corner, not because I'm trying to "banish" them there, but there is more space where the kids can run around if they get antsy. In the opposite corner is the DJ speakers and I put some of my younger friends there since it is near the dance floor and they will be there all night.

bethcarrie

If you're having a reception where most of the guests know each other and get along well, then maybe seating charts aren't so necessary.  Otherwise, I think it's nice- especially for friends don't know too many people there- that way, you can try to put them with people they might have something in common with.  And if you have any divorced/feuding relatives, it's an easy way to prevent conflict.

shanaea87

Honest question here....I read a few posts here that said as a guest they actually preferred assigned seats. Why is that?
-I guess it might just be a matter of who you are and who your guests are but I've never been to a wedding where I had an assigned seat. I personally prefer to be able to sit where I want to sit.
-Just curious as to why some like that.