Friday wedding... pros and cons

Jenea88

We are considering a Friday afternoon wedding... mainly because of the decreased cost of the reception ($10,000 vs. $7,000). What are some pros and cons? 

Thanks!

JulesMarie25

I think one of the biggest pros is that it is cost saving for you and your FI. The biggest downside to it is that it isn't really convienent for your guests. Most people will probably have to take a day off work to come to your wedding and not everyone will want to/be able to. I would think about what is more important, your budget or your guests attending the wedding. Of course the most important people, like your immediate family will probably be there without complaint.

MyNameIsNot

Pro: It's cheaper.

Con: It will be inconvenient for many guests, especially those travelling and in your WP.

You will probably have a higher decline rate than you would on a Saturday, but as long as you are ok with that and realize that people aren't declining to spite you, but because they just can't make it, you're fine. 

I suggest that you talk to the really important people: immediate families, close friends, etc, and find out if this is an option for them.  I know a few people that just absolutely could not take a vacation day right now, even for their sister's wedding.

Also, something else to consider, if you live in an urban area, you'll have to contend with traffic.  We went to a Friday wedding this fall that started at 6.  My DH normally works until 6.  He asked to leave at 5:30, but something came up and he couldn't get away early.  We missed the ceremony and arrived during cocktail hour.  As we were walking in, there were at least 15 other guests just arriving.  I wouldn't recommend starting any earlier than 7 if you want to make sure everyone can be at your ceremony.

chosen175

I actually have only been to 1 Friday wedding, and I didn't mind.  I worked a full day and chose to miss the actual ceremony.  The ceremony was at 5PM and the reception started at 7.  I was able to go home, change, and get to the reception on time.  I heard that the ceremony didn't have very many in attendance, but they had probably 125 at the reception.  To me, it wasn't a big deal at all.  It was someone I cared about, so I definitely wasn't going to pout over her choice to get married on a Friday. 

aerinpegadrak

We cleared Friday with all of our major players before we settled on it.  We were actually considering a Monday, but MOH couldn't commit because of her husband's job situation, so we let that one go. 

The only thing that might be a problem is if you have a lot of attendants coming in from OOT, because if you do a rehearsal the night before, they'll have to get in a day early and take an additional half to full day off work.  We're doing lunch the day of the wedding instead of dinner the night before, so people can get in Friday morning if necessary.  That way, everyone's travel plans and time off are pretty much the same as if we did the more standard Friday rehearsal/Saturday wedding arrangement.

steph43987

 I know a lot of people are commenting on the same con as I would, being that it's inconvenient for guests having to take time off blah blah blah. 

We went to a Friday wedding and the invite said the ceremony was at 6pm. I worked until 5 that day and got home at 5:30. We walked into the ceremony at 5:55. They didn't start until 6:45. We find out later that the bride and groom planned their ceremony for 6:30 but put 6 on the invite so people wouldn't be late. I was really irritated because I busted my ass to get there. There were also a lot of other people who left  work early who were upset because they would have been able to work later and still make it to the wedding. It seemed a little bit rude. Not to mention they intentionally had 95% of their guests waiting 45 minutes.

However, having an afternoon wedding you should be able to avoid all of that and people will have to take a day off of work to be there anyway. Someone else commented that if it's important to the guest to be there, they'll do what they can and I full-heartedly agree with that.

pulga131

I had a Friday wedding, but it was at night- ceremony actually started at 8:00.  Can you make it Friday night or evening?  If you make it later in the day then people wont have to take off from work or at most will have to leave a little early to get ready.  I don't think it will affect OOT guests at all. Either way, they are going to have to travel and take time off from work= they can either take a day before the wedding or after so that is not a factor in my opinion.  It mostly affects you and fi and your in town guests.  Friday day I think will be very difficult for everyone.  Are you set on a day time wedding?  It is a huge cost savings and I think it even makes it easier for you to leave on your honeymoon.  

pulga131

Also in response to the previous knotties post.  It is etiquette to put 30 minutes before the ceremony is supposed to start on the invitations because it takes guests time to arrive and be seated.  The time you put on the invites is the time people should be arriving, getting programs, signing the guest book etc.  The time you set as your wedding time is the time the ceremony is supposed to BEGIN when you actually walk down the isle- not the time for people to be arriving.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_friday-wedding-pros-cons?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:94ff8b65-7600-4f1f-9d97-e7dd3094387dPost:0152d417-96ff-4df2-b9c5-3a6dd512d03a">Re: Friday wedding... pros and cons</a>:
[QUOTE]Also in response to the previous knotties post.  It is etiquette to put 30 minutes before the ceremony is supposed to start on the invitations because it takes guests time to arrive and be seated.  The time you put on the invites is the time people should be arriving, getting programs, signing the guest book etc.  The time you set as your wedding time is the time the ceremony is supposed to BEGIN when you actually walk down the isle- not the time for people to be arriving.
Posted by pulga131[/QUOTE]
This is completely incorrect, the processional is supposed to start at the time listed on the invitations.  Most guests will begin arriving 30 minutes before the listed time, so if you don't intend to start until 30 minutes later, you'll have a large number of guests sitting around for nearly an hour.  Not cool.

latashaphillips81

we are doing a friday wedding and it was also a hard choice but the pros about it is its alot cheaper and it gives us the whole weekend to enjoy to ourselves. i have alot of OOT guest but i gave them enough notice (7 months) to where it shouldnt be a problem for them to make arrangements. I havent had any complaints so far so i hope it all continues to go well.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_friday-wedding-pros-cons?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:94ff8b65-7600-4f1f-9d97-e7dd3094387dPost:0152d417-96ff-4df2-b9c5-3a6dd512d03a">Re: Friday wedding... pros and cons</a>:
[QUOTE]Also in response to the previous knotties post.  It is etiquette to put 30 minutes before the ceremony is supposed to start on the invitations because it takes guests time to arrive and be seated.  The time you put on the invites is the time people should be arriving, getting programs, signing the guest book etc.  The time you set as your wedding time is the time the ceremony is supposed to BEGIN when you actually walk down the isle- not the time for people to be arriving.
Posted by pulga131[/QUOTE]

What?  Seriously?

How is a wedding different than any other event?

A football game has a 1pm start time.  We all know to get to our seats before 1pm. 

Church services started at "X" time.  That was the time the processional started.  We all know to get to our seats prior to that. 

Classes start at "Y" time.  You know that is when the professor/teacher begins class.  Everyone knows that you get your but in a seat before the start time.

What world do you live in that the invite time is not actually time the event is going to happen?

crakd

we're having a thursday evening wedding.  yup, thursday.  the difference in price for the venue we wanted was exponential- we saved like, $8-10,000.  no joke.  just the rental fee on our venue for a weekend is $5000, with a $7000 food minimum + staff fees.  holy cow.  our entire budget is $10K!

we checked with important family (parents, siblings), all of whom have to travel a great distance to get here.  once they were clear, we went for it.  we have a lot of people coming from far away- i'm in seattle, but my family is on the east coast.  FI's famliy is overseas.  they have to take some extra travel days anyhow to make such a big trip, so it wouldn't matter too much if the wedding was on saturday- they would still take a few days off to make a trip of it.  so far i've had a really positive response, and people are excited to have an "excuse" to take a bit of a longer vacation!    we'll start the ceremony at 6pm, but for local friends who have to work, we've made it clear that they can come for the reception only if necessary.  we even made rsvp options of "reception only" and "ceremony and reception."

i guess what i'm saying is- it totally depends on your situation.  you can make most anything work.    good luck!!

tommyandy

What if you did a 7 p.m. or 730 p.m. ceremony time?  Have you considered getting married on Sunday?  If Sunday is okay with the 2 of you, how much is the site?  I would also factor in the cost of limo rental & photographers on Friday & Sunday.  Is the town you are getting married in a football town?  Will there be a home game that day?  What about road construction? 

KatelynS07

We are doing a Thursday wedding on September 1, 2011. This is the Thursday before Labor Day weekend. It cut our price for the venue by over half, and all of the important people have been checked with, and okayed it. Instead of taking time off work for a Labor Day vacation, they are instead taking time off for the wedding. We also really like this setup, because it will allow us to spend time with our OOT family and friends on Friday and Saturday (We aren't taking off for our honeymoon right away). I think it is most important to do whatever works best for you, it is YOUR wedding, and the people who care about you will try their best to make it, although it does help if save the dates are sent out earlier.

splint00

We are getting married on a Friday as well. Since my fiance and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves, cost was obviously a factor but we still wanted an evening wedding. Look, your closest family and friends will be more than happy to take a day off work to travel and see you get married. We have friends/family flying in from all over the country for ours and no one is complaining. Do what makes you happy and that will be the right decision

AlmostMrs.Munoz

I'm having a Friday wedding too! If you can make your ceremony for perhaps a little later in the evening then guests might be able to take half-day if they are in town guests which won't put them out too much (hopefully). I agree that you should take a look at your guest list, if people are mostly out of town then Fridays might be more difficult. You should also look at the job-situations for your guest... a good chunk of my guests are teachers (like me) and my wedding is during the summer, so taking off of work won't be a problem becauase school is not in session. A definite PRO is that you will save costs EVERYWHERE. Not only have I gotten a discount at our venue, but the caterer, florist, DJ and bakery have also given us a discount (and a fairly signficant one) for having a Friday night ceremony/reception. So if money is tight (like mine is) the Friday night discount is a definite PRO! Good LUck!

Jdomanus_9200429

Pro: Save money.

Pro: Those that won't take off work really aren't that close to you so you might end up even saving more and having an intimate wedding.

PRO PRO PRO

lostsoule77

I have been to plenty of Friday weddings.  I just take the day off or take a 1/2 day depending on the time, etc.  My fiance always grumbles, but I don't think it's a big deal.  If it's someone you care about you make it. 

I'm on a budget too and can't afford a Sat. wedding no matter what.  If you need to save the money and all of those close to you can do it I say go for it.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_friday-wedding-pros-cons?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:94ff8b65-7600-4f1f-9d97-e7dd3094387dPost:ed7dc2a7-d313-4904-99e0-c4e48b46ab51">Re: Friday wedding... pros and cons</a>:
[QUOTE]Pro: Save money. Pro: <strong>Those that won't take off work really aren't that close to you so you might end up even saving more and having an intimate wedding. </strong>PRO PRO PRO
Posted by Jdomanus[/QUOTE]


I hate, hate, hate that line.  That is just not true.  Somepeople just can not take off work, not matter how important they are to the B&G.

 A long time poster Kssmg's daugther just started a new job right before her own wedding.  She was able to get her wedding off, but was told she could not take off anymore for a set period of time.   Her sister was getting married on a Friday night a few months later.  She could not take off for the ceremony unless she wanted to be unemployed. Of course her sister was important to her, but so was having a job to provide a roof over her head, food on the table, etc.

So please, please do not use that line.  Some people just do not have the jobs that you can take off anytime you want.  For example if my own sister was getting married around xmas I would not be able to attend.  I am not allowed to take off from Dec 20 until Jan 5. No exceptions.

aerinpegadrak

Exactly, Lynda.  I started a new job the same week as a friend was getting married, and I ended up having to take the day off unpaid and leave at 3:00 in the morning to get there in time.  For my sister's wedding, FI lied to his boss and said that he was the one in the wedding (he wasn't, I was), otherwise he wouldn't have gotten the time off.

If YOU really love THEM, you shouldn't ask them to put their livelihoods on the line for your party.  Weddings seem to make women forget that relationships work both ways.  If someone simply cannot attend on a certain day because of their job, the correct answer is not, "Oh well, I guess you don't love me enough."

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_friday-wedding-pros-cons?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:94ff8b65-7600-4f1f-9d97-e7dd3094387dPost:0152d417-96ff-4df2-b9c5-3a6dd512d03a">Re: Friday wedding... pros and cons</a>:
[QUOTE]Also in response to the previous knotties post.  It is etiquette to put 30 minutes before the ceremony is supposed to start on the invitations because it takes guests time to arrive and be seated.  The time you put on the invites is the time people should be arriving, getting programs, signing the guest book etc.  The time you set as your wedding time is the time the ceremony is supposed to BEGIN when you actually walk down the isle- not the time for people to be arriving.
Posted by pulga131[/QUOTE]

What the crack?  No.  This is the opposite of etiquette.  This is very rude.

Lisa50

Your Friday wedding sounds like a good idea.  I agree with those who suggested speaking with the "most important" invitees and giving them a heads up.  And, a savings of $3,000 pays for your honeymoon stay (in Aruba, for instance).  Have a wonderful wedding!

pulga131

I live in a world were people are late to church every day!  And late to school and the movies and every event you can think of.  Its the reality of the event.  Every wedding I have been to puts an earlier time on the invitation.  Even if you arrive at 6 if you;re wedding is supposed to start at 6 then you are not in your seat at the correct time.  Do you not get to church early so you can find a seat?