Wedding Reception Forum

Renewal of Vows

Since we were married by a JP, my husband and I are having a "renewal ceremony" in our Church on our 35th anniversary.  We have 5 daughters - 3 are fully on board;  however, 2 are not so anxious for our big celebration.  I have already ordered my "wedding" gown and the girls' gowns have already been chosen.  All but one daughter flat out refused to have their husbands dress in formal wear so I gave in to having them wear ivory long sleeve dress shirts with black pants.  My feelings are hurt that they don't share the enthusiasm and excitement we are all sharing.  Any thoughts or suggestions?  Pat Johnson 

Re: Renewal of Vows

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    You can't force others to share in your excitement for any event (wedding, vow renewal, shower, etc.), They will not (regardless of their relationship to you), be as excited about the affair as you and your husband. It is possible that your daughters don't intend to hurt your feelings at all, but are simply not interested in vow renewals.

    I think you need to sit down with each of your daughters and have serious discussion about why they are opposed to the vow renewal. For example, do they simply not agree with having an elaborate event for a renewal ceremony, or is there a deeper issue of some sort?
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    It's nice that you want to have something and congratulations on 35 years! Unfortunately, you cannot force your daughters or son-in-laws to share in your excitement. Is it just going to be family or are you having basically a large wedding? Have you considered doing a Destination renewal of vows?
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    My sister eloped and had a convalidation while I was in high school.  I didn't end up attending the convalidation, because I had an important school event that day.  I didn't then, and still don't, think it was that big a deal, since they were already married.

    No one is going to be as excited for something happening to you as you are, and I think it's a little much to expect anyone to be as excited for an anniversary vow renewal as they would be for a wedding.  Sorry, them's the breaks.
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    You can't expect them to be as excited as you are. Honestly, I think it is odd for you to go all out with a gown, etc after 35 years.
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