question?

BRITTANYBRIDGETTE

Hi ladies! 
please help me out here... I recently went to a wedding and instead of registering for gifts the couple put on the invite that they only wanted money....  Am I wrong for thinking that is tacky?  Is their a better way to ask for money instead of gifts?
 

MyNameIsNot

Nope.

amagwire

No.  If you feel like your friend will be offended by not being a bridesmaid, try including her in the wedding in some way by inviting her to read a passage in the ceremony, etc. and include her in wedding planning activities. 

danieliza1127

It's tacky and there's no good way to ask for money only.  Really the only thing to do is not register, and then when people say "where are you registered?" you can say, "oh we didn't register because we really have everything we need, but we are saving up for new furniture/new house/whatever"

mbcdefg

Ew, they really did that?

I would be the passive-aggressive guest giving them an etiquette book as a gift instead.

gottahavashorti

Ditto danieliza.  And even if they did register, nothing about gifts should have been sent with the invitation.

lyndausvi

no you are not wrong.  I receieved 2 of those type invites last year.  We give money anyway, but it still rubbed me wrong.

MyNameIsNot

Weird.  Is it just me, or was this initially about asking someone to be a BM b/c you were hers?

trix1223

The short answer to your question is that there is no good way to tell people you want money.  It's just wrong.

SuMmErKuTiE

No you're definitely not wrong. I've never seen anyone list registry info or gift requests ESPECIALLY monetary. I don't usually label things as tacky but asking straight out for money in your wedding invitations is definitely tacky! If you want money in lieu of gifts just don't register and then people won't know what to get you and will most likely just give you cash. 

evabee

My sister had us spread the word that they "had everything they needed but are saving up to move to [another country]" which they were at the time. They hoped that people would get the idea and give money or travel/moving items, but people just went out and bought gifts they thought she and her husband might want for their home, and it's not like everyone includes the receipt. It ended up that she did not receive any money for the move and a lot of gifts she didn't have any use for or desire to own and no way to return them. Bummer!

Another person I know registered, her guests bought things off her registry, and then she went back and returned everything for the money... BAD IDEA. I thought it was very rude, because a lot of people wanted to be the ones who gave her her china or her nice steak knives, you know? And they put thought into packaging the gifts, not to mention shipping or traveling with the items.

amyvermette

I dont think its tacky, but keep in mind it depends on your guests, and your location...if you come from a place that people often put presentation only on invitations then it is not tacky...If you never have seen this on an invitation you are probably in a place that it is not normal, therefore, dont start that trend you may offend people!

Personally where I am from it is completely normal, and acceptable and I will likely also do it, its a small line on the invitation that says presentation prefered or presentation only.  Depending on how old you are when you get married and how long you've been with your fiancee/whether you live together or not, do you really need alot of things, or would you like to put a down payment on a house...?