Dollar Kisses?

catloverd

At all the weddings I have been to on my side of the family, none of them did the clinking of the glasses thing for the couple to kiss. Only did I know that was a common tradition when I went with my fiance' to a wedding where his sister was a bridesmaid. 

I personally found it annoying. The bride's friends would clink the glasses often and they had to kiss each time. I asked my fiance' about it since I have never witnessed that before. He told me it was a common thing and that it had happened at his sister's wedding. 

So I was thinking, since we aren't doing a dollar dance, would it be okay to instead of having glasses clinking all the time, to have people pay a dollar for us to kiss? 

Another reason is because I don't want to have to kiss while I'm in the middle of chewing my food!

AdeleDazeem

Nope - it's never okay to ask for money.

Clinking glasses is pretty common.  If you don't want to deal with it all night, kiss the first time they clink then ignore for the rest of the evening.  Everyone will get the hint.

catloverd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:edbd941f-433d-44b1-8a08-beb60f5b9da6">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]Nope - it's never okay to ask for money. Clinking glasses is pretty common.  If you don't want to deal with it all night, kiss the first time they clink then ignore for the rest of the evening.  Everyone will get the hint.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

<div>I guess we wouldn't ask, we would have a sign that says $1 Dollar kisses. The point is to get no one to do it, so we don't really expect anyone to pay.... If they do, at least we're getting paid. </div><div>
</div><div>I'm more concerned with his family and friends doing it since I know my family doesn't. Would it be appropriate to let them know beforehand not to? I also don't want to risk someong breaking a glass and then we have to pay for it.....</div><div>
</div><div>Also if it's never okay to ask for money, why are dollar dances okay? I don't get this logic.....</div>

AdeleDazeem

No, don't put up a sign.  Say nothing about money.  Say nothing about glass clinking.  People won't break glasses... promise.

Dollar dances are really only acceptable when it's a cultural thing (it's a Polish wedding tradition).  Otherwise?  It's really not okay to ask your guests for more money on top of what they are already paying on their travel, lodging, and gift for you.  They've spent enough on celebrating - please don't ask for more.

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:72049f91-e9a6-41a3-959d-b20f14419368">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Kisses? : I guess we wouldn't ask, we would have a sign that says $1 Dollar kisses. The point is to get no one to do it, so we don't really expect anyone to pay.... If they do, at least we're getting paid.  I'm more concerned with his family and friends doing it since I know my family doesn't. Would it be appropriate to let them know beforehand not to? I also don't want to risk someong breaking a glass and then we have to pay for it..... Also if it's never okay to ask for money, why are dollar dances okay? I don't get this logic.....
Posted by catloverd[/QUOTE]

<div>Frankly, if I saw a sign at a wedding that said $1 kisses, I would think it was like a kissing booth at a fair, where guests could pay $1 to kiss the bride or groom.  Because why would you kiss your new H only kiss if someone paid you a dollar?  You just got married and are presumably in love.  </div><div>
</div><div>Dollar dances are generally only appropriate if they have strong roots in your cultural tradition.  I never heard of dollar dances until I came on TK, though.  </div><div>
</div><div>I think I have been to exactly one wedding where guests actually clinked glasses.  No one did at our wedding, or if they did, we didn't hear.  If people do it at your wedding, do it once and then ignore it, or just ignore it from the beginning.  People will get it.  Trust your guests to behave properly and not break a glass.  </div>

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:55d56b98-36b3-441b-99a3-0507d8d3b7eb">Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]At all the weddings I have been to on my side of the family, none of them did the clinking of the glasses thing for the couple to kiss. Only did I know that was a common tradition when I went with my fiance' to a wedding where his sister was a bridesmaid.  I personally found it annoying. The bride's friends would clink the glasses often and they had to kiss each time. I asked my fiance' about it since I have never witnessed that before. He told me it was a common thing and that it had happened at his sister's wedding.  So I was thinking, since we aren't doing a dollar dance, would it be okay to instead of having glasses clinking all the time, to ask people to pay a dollar for us to kiss?  Another reason is because I don't want to have to kiss while I'm in the middle of chewing my food!
Posted by catloverd[/QUOTE]

<div>Your wedding is not a fundraiser!  Why is it that people try to turn weddings into an opportunity to collect money?  </div><div>
</div><div>You do not perform at your wedding for money.  Kissing for dollars is incredibly inappropriate.  </div>

RamonaFlowers

Ditto Joy, kiss the first time and then ignore it. People WILL get the hint. Charging money is not only tacky, but it's not going to actually stop somebody from clinking their glass. People who want to "clink" are going to do it anyway.

And honestly, every wedding I've been to where there has been clinking, it usually died down after the first hour, regardless of if the couple played along or not. Once dinner gets served and the dancing starts, people stop caring. Your reception will not be 5 solid hours of clinking. Promise.

catloverd

Okay it was just an idea, and the hope was that no one would do it. Period. It's not like I want the money, it was just a way to encourage people not to do it.... I guess clinking could still happen. Well hopefully it won't happen. I don't like the idea of kiss the first time since that would just encourage them, so I think we'll just ignore them completely. It's so incredibly rude, I don't understand how this weird tradition started.....

MairePoppy

No $$ for kisses sign, please. That won't discourage guests, it will look like a shameless way to make a little extra money off your guests.

Your guests might clink their glasses at the the beginning of the reception, since it seems to be a tradition on your fi's side of the family. Be  a sport the first time. Once dinner is served or the dancing starts, the guests will forget about their clinking their glasses.

MrsGandthebeag

I don't really see the big problem with kissing your new husband.  I don't think the clinking tradition is weird.  It's happened at every wedding I've been to which is a sh#t ton.  

abbiecorwin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:c05cc6b6-4d26-4906-9710-f6d265872fbf">Re:Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]Plastic cups. Problem solved.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]


Plastic cups are rarely the SOLUTION to a problem, but this post made me laught so hard I spit out my soda!

catloverd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:46be86ff-29b6-46c8-a3cb-c51865d756fa">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't really see the big problem with kissing your new husband.  I don't think the clinking tradition is weird.  It's happened at every wedding I've been to which is a sh#t ton.  
Posted by MrsGandthebeag[/QUOTE]

<div>The problem was at the wedding I went to, they hardly gave the bride and groom a chance to eat! The clinking in itself was just annoying. It's such an awful sound. </div><div>
</div><div>Sure I want to kiss my husband, but I'll kiss him on my terms, not with a mouth full of food. </div>

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:82def060-ddba-4884-afd3-2ca2055b86a9">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Kisses? : The problem was at the wedding I went to, they hardly gave the bride and groom a chance to eat! The clinking in itself was just annoying. It's such an awful sound.  Sure I want to kiss my husband, but I'll kiss him on my terms, not with a mouth full of food. 
Posted by catloverd[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I think you're getting worked up over something that may or may not happen.   There was only once instance of "glass clinking" at our wedding, and we happily obliged with a kiss.    If people continue to cink, then just ignore it, and people will get the hint.   If you keep kissing each other, then you may not have time to eat.   It will only ruin your wedding if you let it.</div>

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:82def060-ddba-4884-afd3-2ca2055b86a9">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Kisses? : The problem was at the wedding I went to, they hardly gave the bride and groom a chance to eat! The clinking in itself was just annoying. It's such an awful sound.  Sure I want to kiss my husband, but I'll kiss him on my terms, not with a mouth full of food. 
Posted by catloverd[/QUOTE]

So just don't do it.  People will probably clink - if you don't give in to them, then they'll stop.  The problem lies when the bride and groom continually kiss when it happens - it just eggs the crowd on. 

Don't overthink it.  :-)

iloveu4ever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:edbd941f-433d-44b1-8a08-beb60f5b9da6">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]Nope - it's never okay to ask for money. Clinking glasses is pretty common.  If you don't want to deal with it all night, kiss the first time they clink then ignore for the rest of the evening.  Everyone will get the hint.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

It is almost as common as unity candle.

HobokensFury

How is paying a dollar to kiss any less tacky than a dollar. It's a horrible idea. People will click. Ignore them if you want to.

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:a2e3495c-e537-40ea-957c-d87e6b2f4a1c">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay it was just an idea, and the hope was that no one would do it. Period. It's not like I want the money, it was just a way to encourage people not to do it.... I guess clinking could still happen. Well hopefully it won't happen. I don't like the idea of kiss the first time since that would just encourage them, so I think we'll just ignore them completely.<strong> It's so incredibly rude, I don't understand how this weird tradition started.....</strong>
Posted by catloverd[/QUOTE]


You think clinking is rude but asking for money to kiss is not rude? That's...weird.

Just don't kiss at all then. Keep eating when they clink and they will get the idea if it really bothers you.

catloverd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:971a4d4d-6c9c-4231-b68a-08131dc76ec1">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Kisses? : You think clinking is rude but asking for money to kiss is not rude? That's...weird. Just don't kiss at all then. Keep eating when they clink and they will get the idea if it really bothers you.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

<div>Well a lot of my family members, who aren't polish btw, do dollar dances. So I figured since we aren't it was an alternative and I was hoping them having to pay to get us to kiss would prevent them from doing it..... I guess I'm not sure how it is "rude" since they don't have to pay, it's just there if they really want us to kiss, you know? It's not like we have to kiss at all! </div><div>
</div><div>But I think we'll just not react or give people a chance to clink. </div>

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:34499e1f-f82f-4957-bda5-7c3c55250520">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Kisses? : Well a lot of my family members, who aren't polish btw, do dollar dances. So I figured since we aren't it was an alternative and I was hoping them having to pay to get us to kiss would prevent them from doing it..... <strong>I guess I'm not sure how it is "rude" </strong>since they don't have to pay, it's just there if they really want us to kiss, you know? It's not like we have to kiss at all!  But I think we'll just not react or give people a chance to clink. 
Posted by catloverd[/QUOTE]

<div>You don't see how asking people for money is rude?  Really?</div>

catloverd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:cb0f4adc-fd35-4494-9240-3be1a6a83480">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Kisses? : You don't see how asking people for money is rude?  Really?
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

<div>But it's not asking, it's like when you go to a store and see a price tag. They don't have to pay, it's just an option, but I'll probably get stuck arguing about this so I'll just let this thread go...</div><div>
</div><div>We don't plan to since as someone pointed out, it prob wouldn't stop the clinking, so we'll just ignore it altogether. </div>

alithebride

geeze!!! RELAX!!

first-your guests are already going to bring you a gift-so asking for money for you to kiss the man that you married earlier that day is rude. kiss for free.

if you hear the clinking IGNORE it. dont turn it into a fundraiser.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:458b9319-23f7-40f0-90f8-55f0df9a5a67">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Kisses? : But it's not asking, <strong>it's like when you go to a store and see a price tag.</strong> They don't have to pay, it's just an option, but I'll probably get stuck arguing about this so I'll just let this thread go... We don't plan to since as someone pointed out, it prob wouldn't stop the clinking, so we'll just ignore it altogether. 
Posted by catloverd[/QUOTE]

But the difference is that when you go to the store you don't feel pressure to buy everything you see, but when you attend a wedding of a family or close friend and see a sign saying "$1 for a Kiss" you may feel more inclined or pressured to pay that dollar.  Same thing goes for a money dance, if you are at a club I doubt you will pay money to dance with some random stranger, but if it was at a wedding you will fork over $1 or more to dance with your friends.

So in turn, putting out the sign will most likely cause people to pay up and make you and your H kiss a hell of a sate more then you were planning on.

As for the clinking, you cannot control what others do.  If people want to clink, they are going to clink no matter what you say or what sign you put up.

Girlie1030

Pay us to kiss = PG Voyeur Pimping = really weird. 

Sounds like OP is just going to try to disregard if it happens.  And FWIW, I think it happened once or twice at our reception but after we didn't respond, it promptly stopped. 

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:458b9319-23f7-40f0-90f8-55f0df9a5a67">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Kisses? : But it's not asking, it's like when you go to a store and see a price tag. They don't have to pay, it's just an option, but I'll probably get stuck arguing about this so I'll just let this thread go... We don't plan to since as someone pointed out, it prob wouldn't stop the clinking, so we'll just ignore it altogether. 
Posted by catloverd[/QUOTE]

<div>Offering to perform (dance, kiss, whatever) <strong>is</strong> asking them for money.  It doesn't matter if you make a sign, put it in your program, or walk up to people and offer to perform for money.  You are asking them to pay you.  </div><div>
</div><div>Your guests are not customers at your store.  They are people who you've invited to join you at your wedding.  People go to stores to buy things, and stores exist to sell things.  A wedding is a social event where you invite people to witness your ceremony and celebrate with you.  It is not an opportunity to make a profit.  </div>

reppunzel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:34499e1f-f82f-4957-bda5-7c3c55250520">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Kisses? : Well a lot of my family members, who aren't polish btw, do dollar dances. So I figured since we aren't it was an alternative and <strong>I was hoping them having to pay to get us to kiss would prevent them from doing it..</strong>... I guess I'm not sure how it is "rude" since they don't have to pay, it's just there if they really want us to kiss, you know? It's not like we have to kiss at all!  But I think we'll just not react or give people a chance to clink. 
Posted by catloverd[/QUOTE]

I was at a wedding one time where they did this (a "honeymoon jar" $1 = 1 kiss) and it did <em>not</em> prevent the kiss-on-demand expectations, if anything it made it worse: people felt entitled ("we paid, now you perform" -- not a vibe I would want).  It was odd from the beginning, and it got really, really tiresome very quickly (and that reception was just barely 2 hours long).  Eventually, someone put in $5 ... they kissed 5 times. 

Then someone put in a $10 bill "to see what would happen": long kiss, provoking hooting and cat calls (this was a rather reserved friend from college, she was clearly uncomfortable and I was dying the death inside for her).

THEN, someone put in a fifty ... A.W.K.W.A.R.D!!!

catloverd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_dollar-kisses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:a3fc71bc-83cb-48dc-b741-c47952d45a01Post:d42d1c52-b766-4f14-bd55-05eec9cd9fc5">Re: Dollar Kisses?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dollar Kisses? : I was at a wedding one time where they did this (a "honeymoon jar" $1 = 1 kiss) and it did not prevent the kiss-on-demand expectations, if anything it made it worse: people felt entitled ("we paid, now you perform" -- not a vibe I would want).  It was odd from the beginning, and it got really, really tiresome very quickly (and that reception was just barely 2 hours long).  Eventually, someone put in $5 ... they kissed 5 times.  Then someone put in a $10 bill "to see what would happen": long kiss, provoking hooting and cat calls (this was a rather reserved friend from college, she was clearly uncomfortable and I was dying the death inside for her). THEN, someone put in a fifty ... A.W.K.W.A.R.D!!!
Posted by reppunzel[/QUOTE]

<div>Well it's good to know someone else had the idea, but yeah, we're not going to do it. We're just going to ignore. </div>

Meghannsix

I hate the glass clinking too, we're just going to ignore it.