1st anniversary party STDs?

RealHappyGal

Ok, so Im having an ity bity wedding this year august.  Finances will be completely different (God Willing) next year and we want to have a huge party at house for the 1year aniversary.  There will be WAY more people invited to the anniversary party than the original ceremony.  (like 35 invited to wedding and about 150-200 invited to the anniversary party)
FI wants to send out the STDs to that party before the actual wedding this year (maybe a week-2weeks) before.  His feelings is that he wants them to know right away that they are invited to that when they hear that we have been wed. 
I guess he (and me a bit to) are worried about the people that are offended that they were not invited to the actual wedding ceremony.  But, I also feel people would be understanding because it was immediate family only and finances would be different next year.

So what do you guys think... is he right? Should STDs go out at that time (wich is really early) or should we do 8-9months before...?

Maggie0829

Do the traditional 8-9 months before.

It would be weird for anyone to receive a STD for an anniversary party when you two aren't even married yet.

If people get offended that they weren't invited to your wedding they will get over it, but I am sure most will be understanding in regards to your budget and finances.  Also you have every right to just have a small intimate wedding.

HobokensFury

You are not having a wedding or a vow renewal so a 200 person anniversary party at your home is not appropriate. It sounds incredibly gift grabby and self centered. You don't send save the dates for such things. I know that it's not what you wanted to hear but it's better to hear it now then have people who love and care about you talk about it behind your back.

RealHappyGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_1st-anniversary-party-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:c3a9d849-6a40-464e-ba15-05beff480758Post:bad84296-4864-4d70-8b24-771f3d2a90e0">Re: 1st anniversary party STDs?</a>:
[QUOTE]You are not having a wedding or a vow renewal so a 200 person anniversary party at your home is not appropriate. It sounds incredibly gift grabby and self centered. You don't send save the dates for such things. I know that it's not what you wanted to hear but it's better to hear it now then have people who love and care about you talk about it behind your back.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]


OK,
#1 I dont expect gifts. Neither does he. so u can ex out your "gift grabby" thing
#2 Why wouldnt a 200person party be appropriate? Its our new home, our new life and our party.
#3 Luckily the people that love and care about me arent the chatty, talk behind your back types. I was worried about hurting peoples feelings but, Im not worried about the behind the back talking. We just arent those kind of people. Believe it or not, NOT everyone is. That is why my question was NOT "Do you think people will talk behind my back" it was "Do you think he is right to send out stds at that time"?
#4 MY future husband wants this... even more than me. So its going down just like that.  200 people invited  to a 1yr anniversary party

HobokensFury

So to answer your question you should not send out save the dates before your wedding.

RealHappyGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_1st-anniversary-party-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:c3a9d849-6a40-464e-ba15-05beff480758Post:5c9d998e-d158-4530-ae9f-ac2ee31d63d2">Re: 1st anniversary party STDs?</a>:
[QUOTE]So to answer your question you should not send out save the dates before your wedding.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

Thank you.  This is what I was thinking as well. He wants the other way.  I have to talk to him about this again.

theholograms

I would wait to send out STDs until 8-9 before. You might even consider a short wedding renewal for your 1st annivesary so everyone can witness that since not everyone will be invited to the wedding - might be a fun little thing to add  

theholograms

RealHappyGal sent you a PM too.

RealHappyGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_1st-anniversary-party-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:c3a9d849-6a40-464e-ba15-05beff480758Post:9c040580-9381-400d-9067-052fd8ff4cb0">Re: 1st anniversary party STDs?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would wait to send out STDs until 8-9 before. You might even consider a short wedding renewal for your 1st annivesary so everyone can witness that since not everyone will be invited to the wedding - might be a fun little thing to add :) 
Posted by 27Sunrise[/QUOTE]

He wants to do this to and also take that time to invite any other married couples to renew with us and pray together at that time.  We are pretty religious.  (But, not the against drinking christians...even jesus served wine at a wedding)  So some type of prayerful, thanking God portion would be included, but certainly NOT a "do you take this woman..." thing.  I dont know how we'd orcastrate that, but I dont want a "walking down the aisle" thing. 

I need to finish sorting (and paying) for all the details of the actual ceremony this year before I get carried away with the party for next year.  But, it would combo celebrating our new marriage and purchase of our new home, and a good old fashioned big west indian party

theholograms

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_1st-anniversary-party-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:c3a9d849-6a40-464e-ba15-05beff480758Post:0e37f6c9-31b3-4c92-a2cb-3767a886486f">Re: 1st anniversary party STDs?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 1st anniversary party STDs? : He wants to do this to and also take that time to invite any other married couples to renew with us and pray together at that time.  We are pretty religious.  (But, not the against drinking christians...even jesus served wine at a wedding)  So some type of prayerful, thanking God portion would be included, but certainly NOT a "do you take this woman..." thing.  I dont know how we'd orcastrate that, but I dont want a "walking down the aisle" thing.  I need to finish sorting (and paying) for all the details of the actual ceremony this year before I get carried away with the party for next year.  But, it would combo celebrating our new marriage and purchase of our new home, and a good old fashioned big west indian party
Posted by RealHappyGal[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That sounds like a great time! Good luck with your planning for this year...and next!

</div>

aragx6

Can you fit 200 people in your house? Where will they park? Where will they pee? Make sure you think of all the logistics!

RealHappyGal

It would be a backyard bbq thing.  Prob gotta get a rent a potty.  My parents have done it as I grew up quiet a few times at their home.  We are house shopping now, Large backyard for parties is a requirement for home picking for me.  Not just for this one but, for all the future ones.  Its a big deal to me

jemmini6

Definitely DO NOT send out anything for an anniversary party before you are even married, that comes off as really weird.  You said your finances would be different in a year "God willing", what if they aren't?  You can't just uninvite everyone if that happens to be the case.

Honestly, I wouldn't send out a STD for an anniversary party at all, IMO, STDs are for weddings only, not anniversary parties.  You could let people know by word of mouth that you are planning to do one, but I'd just send regular invitations about 3 months in advance, when you know for sure (and have already started planning/paying) that you will have the finances to do this.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_1st-anniversary-party-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:c3a9d849-6a40-464e-ba15-05beff480758Post:bad84296-4864-4d70-8b24-771f3d2a90e0">Re: 1st anniversary party STDs?</a>:
[QUOTE]You are not having a wedding or a vow renewal so a 200 person anniversary party at your home is not appropriate. It sounds incredibly gift grabby and self centered. You don't send save the dates for such things. I know that it's not what you wanted to hear but it's better to hear it now then have people who love and care about you talk about it behind your back.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

I don't agree with any of this.

Maggie0829

I feel like STDs are appropriate for any large party...not just weddings.  I don't think it is horrible that you are having a 1st anniversary/house warming party.  And with that many people invited it is a good idea to give them a heads up.

Just wait until after the wedding to send out the STD...enjoy your wedding and then worry about your 1st anniversary later.

pgcp

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_1st-anniversary-party-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:c3a9d849-6a40-464e-ba15-05beff480758Post:bad84296-4864-4d70-8b24-771f3d2a90e0">Re: 1st anniversary party STDs?</a>:
[QUOTE]You are not having a wedding or a vow renewal so a 200 person anniversary party at your home is not appropriate.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]
Why not?  If they can properly host people what is the problem?

RealHappyGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_1st-anniversary-party-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:c3a9d849-6a40-464e-ba15-05beff480758Post:25954e81-1112-4514-bf7a-ae2e8e22a730">Re: 1st anniversary party STDs?</a>:
[QUOTE]Definitely DO NOT send out anything for an anniversary party before you are even married, that comes off as really weird.  You said your finances would be different in a year "God willing", what if they aren't?  You can't just uninvite everyone if that happens to be the case.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]
 
All things in the future (including every1 on here's wedding) is "God Willing".  Its just a saying that we use when planning for the future.
If Im to get into the business of why finances would be different, here it is.  My FI is a doctor.  He is finishing residency this July.  Our little wedding is this August.  He has already received a contract for his job as an Attending Doctor at a clinic in another city.  Its about 1.5hrs away from where we live now.  I have two kids from a previous marriage.  I was NOT going to move my children in with a man unwed.  So, we are having the small ceremony now to facilitate that.  The large party that we would have had will be next year.  I also recently finished nursing school My income potentially would double.  However, even if I didnt get a job, his alone will cover all costs of wedding next year..... So that explains "God Willing"

OliveOilsMom

If you want to send something out around the time of your wedding, why don't you send out Wedding Announcements afterwards to the 200 people you would like to have come to the party next year.  Then start to spread by word of mouth that the 1st anniversary will be a big party at your new home. 

I think if I received a STD over a year in advance, I may still forget about it! 

RealHappyGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_1st-anniversary-party-stds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:c3a9d849-6a40-464e-ba15-05beff480758Post:3952166b-6de3-4bf5-aaf1-06293567b752">Re: 1st anniversary party STDs?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you want to send something out around the time of your wedding, why don't you send out Wedding Announcements afterwards to the 200 people you would like to have come to the party next year.  Then start to spread by word of mouth that the 1st anniversary will be a big party at your new home.  I think if I received a STD over a year in advance, I may still forget about it! 
Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

that is a wonderful idea!!

alithebride

if you want to do a 1st anniv party that's fine but do NOT include it in the wedding planning etc... get married first. if anyone questions why you haven't had a reception tell them you're having a small ceremony only thsi year.

then, next year, 8 weeks before, send out an invite for a 1st anniversary party.

FOXYMELO9898

DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO....I DID AT THE END OF IT ALL ITS YOUR WEDDING AND ANNIVERSARY SO GO FOR IT...