Silly game idea?

essdeebee

Help!  My fiance and I are getting married Sunday (short notice much!), and we're both teachers so we have a bit of a theme, for lack of a better word, going on.  Nothing too crazy.... chalk board table numbers and a healthy dose of Alice Cooper.

ANYWAY, we had a leftover chalkboard and tried to think of what to do with it.  We wrote "DETENTION" on it and we're going to leave it on the parents' table.  After speeches, my fiance is going to announce that guests are to try and get rid of the board by putting it on another table (without anyone noticing) during the course of the evening.  When the last song of the night is played, the table with detention has to...

This is where we are lost.  We were going to tell them they had to split the tab at the afterparty, as a joke of course.  (Is anyone going to be stupid enough to think we are serious?)  Maybe we'll tell the losing table they have detention and have to stay for clean up, which again, is a joke.

Any suggestions for a better anti-prize?

HobokensFury

Honestly games at weddings don't go over well.  Sorry. I would skip it. The last thing you want to do is embarrass, upset or make even one of your guests feel uncomfortable.

essdeebee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_silly-game-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ca4a994e-2cc9-4771-b909-ef6cb5b60d88Post:8ffe9b07-6996-4eaf-b7ce-5e51a9fb7f6d">Re: Silly game idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly games at weddings don't go over well.  Sorry. I would skip it. The last thing you want to do is embarrass, upset or make even one of your guests feel uncomfortable.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]


I appreciate your reply, and I knew most people would say that, but respectfully, I think we're going to do it anyway.  We invited about 70 adults, all close friends and complete ball-busters.  It's very casual/informal (I wanted to elope) and it's not really a game.. like, "get up here and embarass yourself singing!"

jesslynn1012

I think it sounds fun, and you obviously know your friends and whether they'll enjoy it:)  I wish I had some suggestions, but I wanted to re-assure you that if you are confident about an idea (and it's not rude or against etiquette) I say go for it because you know your guests better than any of us could assume to. 
I think that a prize of a bottle of wine, or gift card would be a nice surprise for a guest:)  Especially since they thought they were "stuck" but were given a prize instead:)

essdeebee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_silly-game-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ca4a994e-2cc9-4771-b909-ef6cb5b60d88Post:51b17802-8e8a-45d9-aa9d-fc97d24f2981">Re: Silly game idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it sounds fun, and you obviously know your friends and whether they'll enjoy it:)  I wish I had some suggestions, but I wanted to re-assure you that if you are confident about an idea (and it's not rude or against etiquette) I say go for it because you know your guests better than any of us could assume to.  I think that a prize of a bottle of wine, or gift card would be a nice surprise for a guest:)  Especially since they thought they were "stuck" but were given a prize instead:)
Posted by jesslynn1012[/QUOTE]

Good idea!!!  A table with an underage child or two may "win," so maybe giftcards rather than alcohol?  I like it...  Thanks!

essdeebee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_silly-game-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ca4a994e-2cc9-4771-b909-ef6cb5b60d88Post:60f9561f-487e-425c-8665-bf185cd394dd">Re:Silly game idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Silly game idea?: So, if you know that's going to be the reaction and you're doing it anyway, the point of the question is...?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Wow, who put sand in your undies?

I was asking for an "anti-prize."  The loser has to... what?  Then again, I liked the idea of changing this into something positive with an actual prize, in which case, suggestions on that would be appreciated, too.

rlavach

My issue with that game is that there is a loser. The idea of having a loser at a wedding doesn't seem quite right to me. It's a happy occasion. I also don't like games at weddings at all, but if you're set on doing this, then try to spin it to having a winner rather than a loser, at least. 

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_silly-game-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:ca4a994e-2cc9-4771-b909-ef6cb5b60d88Post:e56d136b-065a-4b25-a9d5-67e54026391f">Re: Silly game idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]My issue with that game is that there is a loser. The idea of having a loser at a wedding doesn't seem quite right to me. It's a happy occasion. I also don't like games at weddings at all, but if you're set on doing this, then try to spin it to having a winner rather than a loser, at least. 
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

Agree completely.

essdeebee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_silly-game-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ca4a994e-2cc9-4771-b909-ef6cb5b60d88Post:3da0ec6c-2f6f-4154-a4a6-4e7e08390666">Re: Silly game idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Silly game idea? : Agree completely.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

Good points.  I don't see why anyone would want to give it away, though.  Haha!

I find it interesting that my idea seems so harsh when demoralizing traditions such as cake smashing and bouquet tossing still exist at most weddings.  I've never been to a wedding that did not include a bouquet toss, and I'd much rather play a game with a "loser" than solicit myself on the dance floor for a bunch of flowers and the priviledge of being next to marry.  Swoon.  To each her own, I guess.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_silly-game-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:ca4a994e-2cc9-4771-b909-ef6cb5b60d88Post:19f4721c-aea2-4da2-9cc2-b33c9bb2cdc7">Re: Silly game idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Silly game idea? : Good points.  I don't see why anyone would want to give it away, though.  Haha! I find it interesting that my idea seems so harsh when demoralizing traditions such as cake smashing and bouquet tossing still exist at most weddings.  I've never been to a wedding that did not include a bouquet toss, and I'd much rather play a game with a "loser" than solicit myself on the dance floor for a bunch of flowers and the priviledge of being next to marry.  Swoon.  To each her own, I guess.
Posted by essdeebee[/QUOTE]

The bouquet toss doesn't single someone out as a loser.  Every wedding I've ever been to involved women being dragged ont o the floor.  A favorite pic of me is during one of these with my arms crossed watching it land inches from me.

Cake smahing is just immature and not something probably 99% of people do.

essdeebee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_silly-game-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ca4a994e-2cc9-4771-b909-ef6cb5b60d88Post:8789f60f-3a92-442b-a191-3302090b4680">Re: Silly game idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Silly game idea? : The bouquet toss doesn't single someone out as a loser.  Every wedding I've ever been to involved women being dragged ont o the floor.  A favorite pic of me is during one of these with my arms crossed watching it land inches from me. Cake smahing is just immature and not something probably 99% of peopl
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

That sounds like an awesome picture!  And something fun to look back on.  The idea of my friends trying to get rid of a stupid chalkboard so they're not left with it is something I know they'll have fun with.  They'll spend the evening trying to sneak it away while an entire table os up dancing.  I would like something fun to take the place of the bouquet toss... something you had fun with.

The point is, some things are deemed improper etiquette because they are new or weird or whatever the case may be, while completely outdated and sexist traditions are not given a second thought.  So I might have a "loser" table (though I'm not going to label it as such), but at least I'm not calling my friends "unmarried female servants" or making the note that "these are the only four single friends I have... let's look upon them as they fight for a bunch of flowers, because tradition says this is completely acceptable."

I'm going to continue to be judged, and that's fine, but I think I'm done.  I won't ask any more advice from these boards.  Far too many people are extremely rude and spend as much time here as some do on Facebook.

Thank you for you opinions and ideas.  I still have a few days to consider.

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_silly-game-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ca4a994e-2cc9-4771-b909-ef6cb5b60d88Post:c3b8564a-5c25-4e99-9ca0-5dc7a0ceb9f3">Re: Silly game idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Silly game idea? : That sounds like an awesome picture!  And something fun to look back on.  The idea of my friends trying to get rid of a stupid chalkboard so they're not left with it is something I know they'll have fun with.  They'll spend the evening trying to sneak it away while an entire table os up dancing.  I would like something fun to take the place of the bouquet toss... something you had fun with. The point is, some things are deemed improper etiquette because they are new or weird or whatever the case may be, while completely outdated and sexist traditions are not given a second thought.  So I might have a "loser" table (though I'm not going to label it as such), but at least I'm not calling my friends <strong>"unmarried female servants" </strong>or making the note that "these are the only four single friends I have... let's look upon them as they fight for a bunch of flowers, because tradition says this is completely acceptable." I'm going to continue to be judged, and that's fine, but I think I'm done.  I won't ask any more advice from these boards. <strong> Far too many people are extremely rude and spend as much time here as some do on Facebook.</strong> Thank you for you opinions and ideas.  I still have a few days to consider.
Posted by essdeebee[/QUOTE]

I had a bouquet toss and called absolutely no one an unmarried female servant. Where are you getting that from? Also, if you want to compare this to a bouquet toss (which you are also not required to have), in the toss, there is a "winner" if you want to call it that--someone who catches the bouqet. What you're doing still has a loser, which goes back to a valid point made by a PP that at a wedding, I think it's kind of negative to have a "loser" at something you want to do. You came on here with an idea, and we are giving honest feedback. You will obviously still do it if you want to, but many times when we have a good idea, we fail to see any problems, issues, or other perspectives that may arise with it. That's what we've given you.

I also find the second bolded statement just laughable. So it's OK if people waste away their days on FB because it's such a high and mighty social networking site compared to TK? OK then.

ETA: Another issue I have with your "game" is that people will essentially be "forced" to participate. With a bouquet toss, no one has to participate who doesn't want to. I don't care if someone is egging you on to participate, you absolutely can just walk away and not be a part of it. In your game, even if someone had no interest in participating, if someone puts the detention chalkboard on their table, now they are part of this game like it or not, and if they choose to just ignore it, they become the "loser" by default because it's on their table. I'm against anything at a wedding that has forced participation.

aragx6

I'm not doing a bouquet toss or any caske smashing so am I allowed to tell you I don't like this idea?

Obviously you're going to do it, and it might go over well with your guests, but don't get your panties all in a twist because you didn't like the answers you received on a message board. That's just silly.

Viczaesar

"Unmarried female servants"?

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_silly-game-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ca4a994e-2cc9-4771-b909-ef6cb5b60d88Post:ea87bf87-6f34-424e-a0d3-4fe83ba04507">Re: Silly game idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]"Unmarried female servants"?
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

<div>That's what my wedding was missing!  </div><div>
</div><div>OP, in addition to the "loser" concern, are you having dancing?  Do you want people to be dancing, or do you want people to be taking shifts at the table to make sure that no one dumps them with the fake anti-prize, or whatever it is?  That's what I would worry about.  It's one thing to have a game guests can play if they want a break from dancing, but this seems to require a lot of investment.</div>

NOLAbridealmost

I have an honest question, OP.   The only way people will want to give someone the "Detention" thing would be if they believe the person will be a loser or be "punished" in some way.  If everyone knows the table with the Detention thing gets a prize, then they'd just want to keep it at their own table.  I just can't think of a "good" way to incentivize people to try to get rid of the detention thing without it sounding mean "Welcome to our wedding! Enjoy dinner! BTW try to pass along the detention thing because the person stuck with it at the end loses!" 

It just doesn't make much sense to me. 

I'd try to put your energy into other ways to personalize your reception; this just seems like it's either going to fall flat or irritate people.

NOLAbridealmost

Oh! OH!  Actually, what if the "losing" table has to pose for a picture outside banging erasers?  Then you can give each of them a pro pic of the "punishment" as a gift after the wedding? 

It's the best I can think of....

aoideeos

all the argueing aside... I thought it would be fine to do the chalkboard thing. as long as the final table did feel like they really lost anything and that it was just fun. like if you picked a song they would have to dance to all by themselves or something. thats really hard to figure out.

i think things got a little blown out of proportion and misunderstood in this thread.

aerin3000

dear OP I think that your idea is amazing, a game (while not in everyone's opinion is 'wedding approporiate') in my opnion, is a great idea! Weddings are about bringing two families together. What better way to do that them to make them all participate in a game!

Best of luck and I hope they have fun and new relationships form out of the light-hearted fun you created for your quests :-)

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_silly-game-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:ca4a994e-2cc9-4771-b909-ef6cb5b60d88Post:7a35f0cc-eda9-404b-9079-ae5094659139">Re: Silly game idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]dear OP I think that your idea is amazing, a game (while not in everyone's opinion is 'wedding approporiate') in my opnion, is a great idea! Weddings are about bringing two families together. What better way to do that them to make them all participate in a game! Best of luck and I hope they have fun and new relationships form out of the light-hearted fun you created for your quests :-)
Posted by aerin3000[/QUOTE]

Nice try OP but creating an AE so there is one post saying this is a good idea is just pathetic.

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_silly-game-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ca4a994e-2cc9-4771-b909-ef6cb5b60d88Post:bb6754ec-4809-4d7b-80df-636200e0df76">Re: Silly game idea?</a>:
[QUOTE]all the argueing aside... I thought it would be fine to do the chalkboard thing. as long as the final table did feel like they really lost anything and that it was just fun. like if you picked a song they would have to dance to all by themselves or something. thats really hard to figure out. i think things got a little blown out of proportion and misunderstood in this thread.
Posted by aoideeos[/QUOTE]

<div>What if the people at the table aren't dancers & don't enjoy attention? I wouldn't mind, but if my DH was at that table, he'd have an instant heart attack. The idea of standing up in a small group to be watched dancing (something he's not confident in) while dozens of others watch, is not cool. I totally get that you really want to use this idea, but maybe you can use this board somewhere else. Make it your guest sign-in 'book.' Have people write well-wishes. Hold it up as a prop with some writing during pictures. If you're doing a photobooth, give it to people for a prop with some chalk. I don't know, something else. </div><div>
</div><div>Like others have already said, cake smashing isn't done anymore. I haven't seen that at any wedding in the past 26y of my life. I've seen the bouquet toss a few times, but less than 1/2. We did neither.</div>

katherinelawre

I think a better idea would be to call it "Honor Roll" and have a prize at the end. Then people would try to steal it while others were dancing, and I think it takes away all of the negative connotations. It keeps with the theme without anyone feeling like a loser.