Unassigned seating

scrpio421

I'm newly engaged and reading up on ideas. I found one that said make two of your reception tables reserved (for parents an immediate family) and then let you guests sit where they want. Will this create chaos? Has anyone been to a wedding where this was done and did you like it?

caseyandlizzie

I've been to weddings where they had open seating and it was kind of a disaster. People who knew each other would take over several tables and steal chairs from other tables to fit more people at their tables. I was an OOT guest so I didn't really know that many people and I ended up sitting with a bunch of strangers because the people I did know got there early and already had a full table by the time we arrived.

Its best to have assigned tables that way you can group people together and they can choose which seat to take at that table.

mary9449

We're doing assigned seating. Otherwise it will cause a disaster. Ditto what PP said, people will group together and there will be 15 people at one table and one couple at another. We're having a plated meal, so it will be easier for the wait staff as well.

hlq2011

That's asking for trouble.  If you do unassigned seating, you need to plan for tables and chairs far above your guest count, to make sure that families/couples aren't split up because the only seats left are single chairs at different tables.

You don't need to assign people to individual chairs, but at least assign them to tables.  Your guests will thank you for it, trust me.  I HATE having to find a place for FI and I to squeeze in with free-for-all seating.

twilight.rose

Ditto PP. We assigned tables, not seats, and everything still went quite smoothly with people locating their spot.

janicejab

  I agree. You should at least assign tables, but don't have to assign each particular seat. It's more work for you, but your guests will appreciate it.

OnionBiitch

I've been to open seating weddings, and while I would not describe it as chaos, it was definitely annoying...trying to rush to the venue to make sure we can get a seat with family, friends, etc.

NOLAbridealmost

In New Orleans, unassigned seating and heavy hors d'oeuvres/"station" style receptions are the norm.  It's never been a problem at any of the weddings I've attended.  But that's usually because the stations are available immediately at the start of the reception and remain open throughout nearly the entire reception and guests can eat at their leisure, walk around, dance a while, eat some more, etc. 

I think for a sit-down dinner with waiters and stuff, that would be absolute chaos.  

acwm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_unassigned-seating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ce15007e-e94a-4f54-ab8f-a3d4197894c8Post:c4a1f144-f739-4c0e-8a49-c06e9a254c7c">Re: Unassigned seating</a>:
[QUOTE]I've been to weddings where they had open seating and it was kind of a disaster. People who knew each other would take over several tables and steal chairs from other tables to fit more people at their tables.
Posted by caseyandlizzie[/QUOTE]

<div>This. The open seating weddings I've been to usually result in overcrowded tables, jumbled chairs and people wandering a little aimlessly in the beginning. You don't have to assign specific seats, but assigning tables makes sure no one feels like the new kid on the first day of school trying to find a seat at the lunch table.</div>

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_unassigned-seating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ce15007e-e94a-4f54-ab8f-a3d4197894c8Post:2be32d22-c2d1-4bc3-a3b4-760990add2d9">Re: Unassigned seating</a>:
[QUOTE]That's asking for trouble.  If you do unassigned seating, <strong>you need to plan for tables and chairs far above your guest count, to make sure that families/couples aren't split up because the only seats left are single chairs at different tables</strong>. You don't need to assign people to individual chairs, but at least assign them to tables.  Your guests will thank you for it, trust me.  I HATE having to find a place for FI and I to squeeze in with free-for-all seating.
Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]

This.  I can't tell you how many weddings I went to as a child where I got stuck at some random table with people I didn't know because there wasn't a table with room for 5 at them left.  The last wedding I went to, we even did the 'squeezing in extra chairs and stealing place settings from other tables" and had 12 people at a 10 person table because we didn't want to be split up.

Assigning tables is a courtesy for your guests.  In all the weddings I've been to, it's always sooo much nicer to have an assigned table than it is to wonder around aimlessly trying to find a seat.  I'd HIGHLY suggest you do assigned seating, trust me, your guests will appreciate it.

FaithCaitlin

We are doing assigned tables. It's a good compromise between assigned seating and unassigned seating.

trix1223

Doing table assignments is actually a courtesy to your guests. It ensures that people who don't get along won't end up stuck with each other because they're the only open seats left.

It ensures that couples or families won't be split up because there are not enough seats left at any given table when they arrive.

It ensures that Great Aunt Hilda won't be seated with your FIs college frat brothers, or that Grandpa Al won't end up sitting right next to the dj's speakers.

It ensures that your college roommate, who doesn't know anyone but you at the wedding, won't wander the room hoping that she can sit somewhere. (Remember the cafeteria in Jr. High?)

It ensures that you won't have 11 people jammed into a table that seats 8 comfortably because people decided to pull up chairs so they could all sit together.

It also saves you $$, because when you don't have assigned tables, you need to have extras because you WILL end with tables of 4 where you intended to have 8.

I've only been to one wedding without table assignments, and it was a holy mess as people wandered around trying to figure out where they were supposed to sit.

Do table assignments.

Milsey32

I haven't been to an open seating reception (but I haven't been to that many weddings yet either) and yet, I can just see that turning out horrible ... we are definitely planning on assigning tables..

ESquared423

I have a question that goes along with this topic and figured I'd ask here instead of creating a new thread. We are having an AHR a couple months after our ceremony here (we live 6000 miles away from family and friends). We are doing food stations and calling it more of a party than a reception and it is for about 100 guests...would you recommend doing assigned seating for a party like this or does it seem out of place?

We weren't planning on it as it is not a completely formal, sit-down dinner...but it will be a semi-formal occasion and reading about people moving chairs and tables is making me nervous, I didn't really think about that until right now!

yswillia

 am newly engaged as well. I have never been to a wedding with assigned seating (other than for immediate family) and there has never been a problem with seating. I always thought of it as a little odd to assign seats. IMO, its a waste of paper, money and time. People who "dislike" each other wont sit together anyway or will simply suck it up for the day. I gues I'm lucky as this is not something we have to worry about. I've never seen the "chaos" that others are speaking of.

If you fear potential chaos/drama or must control the situation, I guess it would be best to do so. Assigned tables seems like a happy compromise but my guests are free to sit where they please. Afterall, they are adults.

However, it is necessary for plated meals.

mizjodi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_unassigned-seating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:ce15007e-e94a-4f54-ab8f-a3d4197894c8Post:ab4e62d1-d1dc-4809-bbef-452a958ca33a">Re: Unassigned seating</a>:
[QUOTE] am newly engaged as well. I have never been to a wedding with assigned seating (other than for immediate family) and there has never been a problem with seating. I always thought of it as a little odd to assign seats. IMO, its a waste of paper, money and time. People who "dislike" each other wont sit together anyway or will simply suck it up for the day. I gues I'm lucky as this is not something we have to worry about. I've never seen the "chaos" that others are speaking of. If you fear potential chaos/drama or must control the situation, I guess it would be best to do so. <strong>Assigned tables seems like a happy compromise but my guests are free to sit where they please. Afterall, they are adults. However, it is necessary for plated meals.
</strong>Posted by yswillia[/QUOTE]

But a gracious host does what he/she can to make sure their guests are comfortable! Yes, we're all adults, but even the most out-going of us can't always be comfortable and have a good time! I was once at an open range seating reception where I only knew the groom and his family (we grew up together), but no one else. I randomly chose a table, that ended up with only ONE other couple, who sat all the way across, was older, and refused to engage in conversation with me. I'm a VERY outgoing person, but also polite, and didn't feel it appropriate to get up and try to find another table. If there had been assigned tables, I would have enjoyed myself much much more.

Now, think of this from the perspective of a very shy adult, and think how much worse this situation would feel!

Ettiquette is mainly about the comfort and ease of your guests. Something to keep in mind!

yswillia

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_unassigned-seating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:ce15007e-e94a-4f54-ab8f-a3d4197894c8Post:d27da1e6-d798-48c8-8362-0a7f8a4857be">Re: Unassigned seating</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unassigned seating :<strong> But a gracious host does what he/she can to make sure their guests are comfortable!</strong> Yes, we're all adults, but even the most out-going of us can't always be comfortable and have a good time! I was once at an open range seating reception where I only knew the groom and his family (we grew up together), but no one else. I randomly chose a table, that ended up with only ONE other couple, who sat all the way across, was older, and refused to engage in conversation with me. I'm a VERY outgoing person, but also polite, and didn't feel it appropriate to get up and try to find another table. If there had been assigned tables, I would have enjoyed myself much much more. Now, think of this from the perspective of a very shy adult, and think how much worse this situation would feel! Ettiquette is mainly about the comfort and ease of your guests. Something to keep in mind!
Posted by mizjodi[/QUOTE]


As a guest, I am most comfortable sitting where I choose to sit. Being comfortable at a table with strangers can be difficult anytime. I try to break the ice but if it's not working so what? Chatting and becoming friendly with other guests is great and ideal but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Are you there to converse with others or to celebrate with the couple? I'm there to celebrate with the couple. How would having an assigned seat or table make you feel comfortable at that particular wedding?You didn't know anyone, and that's usually the first step in being uncomfortable. Again, I ask why are you there?

Relax, it is simply a personal choice, MY personal choice.

Blueyed228

I prefer assigned seating (assigned tables).

I went to one wedding without it and it was a mess.  There were 2 tables set aside for "family" but second cousins and other extended family took those seats and Grandma and other close family ended up mixed in with other tables.

There was also not enough chairs.  I would check with your venue, they may require at least assigned tables.

danz9

I have never been to a wedding with assigned seating, everything turned out fine at all the weddings. No chairs where moved for supper, maybe after for the dance. At our hall (we only have one in my town) there are long tables and round tables so if there is a bigger group we take the long tables and if there is a smaller group we take a round one.

If your community/family/friends are generally an assigned seating crowd it would prolly be best to make the effort. I think its a super cute idea, and would do it just because I am obsessed with planning (and love the many many ideas to make name cards)

scrpio421

Thank you so much everyone!!! Definitely put a new light on an idea that I figured would make it easier for everyone. I'm so glad I asked,  I will be going with assigned seating for sure! Thanks so much, you were all so helpful!!!

DeadUtopia

I'm not doing assigned seating because in our area and social circle it's NEVER done. Typically guests don't even RSVP here, so doing assigned seating would be a mess anyway as it wouldn't be followed. We're having a buffet style reception with a station or two as well as extra seating.

JennyBean12

I am almost 30, and I have yet to attend a wedding with assigned seating. Honestly, before coming onto the knot, I kinda thought that was only done for plated meals and debutates named Buffy.