Need Help for Informal Wedding/Reception Ideas!

kerrykolster

Hi everybody!

My fiance and I both agreed that we would like an informal and simple wedding/reception. Unfortunately, he apparently didn't realize that there is still much to do - for example, he doesn't understand why we would send out invitations for the rehearsal dinner.

Our plan so far is this:
Friday night -rehearsal/dinner
Saturday - 1pm wedding with dessert buffet reception to follow
Saturday night - he wants to have a party at our house (I don't understand WHY we have to have this that night).

Last night, he told me that he is very frustrated because our wedding doesn't seem to be as simple as we are wanting. Quite honestly, I think that our wedding is really simple (with the exception of this party following the wedding - I don't see the point).

Can anyone give me some ideas for a very simple wedding and reception. We are getting married in March, so I don't want to plan on having anything outside because I can't predict the weather. I wanted to elope - if that helps you see HOW simple I am wanting it

Any help would be very apprecaited, as I want my fiance to be excited about our wedding - not frustrated!

Thank you!
K

danieliza1127

I think it already sounds as simple as you can make it.  If he wants less to do, then tell him to skip the party at your house that night.

You don't have to send out rehearsal dinner invitations.  Usually that info is just communicated to the wedding party and your parents verbally, or you can send an e-mail, but paper invitations aren't necessary.

Basically all you need are wedding invitation to send to your guests, an officiant to perform the ceremony, flowers if you want them, and the reception.  A cake and punch reception is the easiest and that sounds like what you have planned.  You can set up an Ipod or laptop to play some background music instead of hiring a DJ.  The reception will probably only last about 2 hours, and then you're done. 

danieliza1127

Also, maybe his frustration is that he just isn't interested in actually planning it.  Most guys aren't.  Maybe he feels like it's not simple because you are running every detail past him.  Most guys don't care about the little details like colors and flowers and programs or anything.  So just take care of that and tell him not to worry about it.

lyndausvi

Your wedding seems pretty simple already.  The night party just an after-party?  You really do not need one.  Why is he insisting on one?

btw - you do not have to have RD invites.  I didn't and everyone made it without issue.

kerrykolster

Thank you for the help!

Another question - for our reception, we are doing a dessert buffett (basically cake, some small desserts, punch, coffee) - for a reception like this, do we still do toasts and a first dance, etc? We are doing it at the church, so alcohol is not allowed - so I guess you toast with punch?

For the after party - he wants something where we can "let our hair down" - my problem with it is that I will only have a two hour window between the reception on having people come to our home and that just seems very stressful to me - too much to do, not enough time and then it seems like we are kind of forgoing our wedding night and spending time together... Make sense?

Thank you again for your help - I really appreciate it!!

lyndausvi

After-parties are fun because the wedding goes so fast.   I loved the extra time we got with our guests. So I get why he wants one.

Do you have any trusted family and friends that can help? 

goheels05

[QUOTE]Thank you for the help! Another question - for our reception, we are doing a dessert buffett (basically cake, some small desserts, punch, coffee) - for a reception like this, do we still do toasts and a first dance, etc? We are doing it at the church, so alcohol is not allowed - so I guess you toast with punch?[/QUOTE]

That's entirely up to the two of you, but since alcohol is not permitted, I would recommend skipping the toast.  I find toasting with non-alcoholic punch to be obnoxious, but that's just my opinion.

He's the one making things complicated with the after party.  I would really push for skipping it.

Da0419

I think with the informality of your dessert reception, you could probably bypass the toasts, etc, unless you really want to include any particular element.  I think you should make it as low key as you feel comfortable.

As far as the after party, why not get some people together and go to a lounge/pub.  You could spread the word among your friends and they could let other people know.  That way, you wouldn't have to worry about playing hostess in your home after the reception.  It would also cut down on costs because it would just be a gathering of friends instead of you guys hosting anything.

babylizz

We're doing a 2pm ceremony with a heavy appetizer reception immediately after. We'll have beer, wine, a specialty cocktail and then some non-alcoholic drinks. I'm DIY'ing silk flowers and the fam is making the food. I'm also doing all the decor (tablecloths, chair covers, etc) myself. The only thing my FI cares about is the music, which he's doing on his mp3, and what he and the GM's wear. He also wants an after-party, but, I'm really looking forward to that part. The reception will be day-time, so no real partying, and it will probably be only a few hours long. We will have dancing, toasts, garter & bouquet toss so after all that the reception will fly bye.

The after-party is when we will actually have time to cut loose and hang out with our nearest & dearest, including his family that is flying in from Canada. We're not really planning or doing anything special for the after party except making sure the bar is fully stocked, and it stays that way, so no extra effort is really needed. As far as spending your first married night together, it's completely up to you as to when you end the after-party.

As far as the rehearsal dinner, we'll be telling people by word of mouth. No need for the extra expense or work involved.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'd highly recommend doing the after party at someone else's house or at a local bar or community hall where you can get alcohol brought in. Hosting parties at my home stresses me out too, and I can't imagine dealing with that the day of the wedding.

You CAN do first dances if you'd like, but an afternoon reception with no alcohol usually means no dancing - since most people aren't in the mood for it. So they won't be cutting a rug, but you're free to do the formal dances. That's also why afternoon receptions are shorter.

ivedonethisb4

I think you should definately have the "after-party" but don't do it in your home. That is just too much. Look into reserving a local bar or something..that way your friends and family can drink...but its not on you..and there is no cleanup afterwards. This is a good idea also. My MOH got married a few years back they had an early afternoon reception with an afternoon after party...at her in-laws. It was BYOB. They stayed for a few hours..then left for their honeymoon. When you have it somewhere else, you're free to do that. The party will keep right on going without you and everyone will have a blast and you get to mix, mingle..and still have your wedding night! So if the local lounge/bar isn't an option for you...maybe you could do something like that...at a family member or friends home. Hope that helps! Good luck!